Sunday, October 23, 2016

JANUARY 20, 2025

Dear Dummy,

I can’t believe I’m having to leave this place after only 8 years, I was the best at presidenting, I really was the best. People are giving me credit, some great people, are giving me credit for being a great president. I don’t know how a loser like you could possibly follow in my footsteps, but what do I care. There’s not a lot of “10”s around here anyway so I’m not even sad about leaving. I left some KFC in the fridge for you, which I’m hearing, I’m hearing things, is a great thing for me to have done.

If you need to reach out to me for advice on how to keep making America great again I’ll be at Putin’s summer cottage just outside of Rutgers even though, as we’re all clear about, I’ve never met him. Meanwhile, feel free to have some fun (wink wink) in the Lincoln bedroom (just ask Ivanka!)
I’m most proud of The Wall I built, even if in the end it only covered 8 feet outside of a Taco Bell in Denver. There will never be a president like me again but for some reason I guess we’re still going to have them anyway, so good luck to you and this country I made great again.

And you’re welcome for getting rid of all the non-whites, btw.

I remain,
(Catch Celebrity Apprentice on NBC every Tuesday at 10pm!)

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