Writing for Hannity

So on a day when the FBI is caught abusing the Patriot Act and Gonzalez’ Justice Department is on the run, never mind Scooter Libby and Walter Reed even, what’s my good good good buddy Sean Hannity talking about? He’s giving a veritable “Best of” round up on the teacher sex scandals through the last year. And it’s not “what do we have to fill in the last 3 minutes of air time?” either; we’re only 20 minutes into the show. With more and more shit coming out about his Republican buddies fucking up, I’m worried he’s gonna run out of worthless shit to talk about, and since he’s my good good buddy I thought I’d help him out and suggest some hot topics:

“Buttered Toast: The Devil’s Oven Mitts?”
“Hubba Bubba vs. Bubble Yum: The War You Don't Want Your Children to Sign Up For”
“Was David Silver THE Worst White Hip Hop Artist of All Time?”
“English Muffins: You Call That ‘Fork Split’?”
“The Sweet Potatoes Fad - Anyone Else Not Getting This?"
“The Little Fried Bits That Fall off the Fish at Long John Silvers”
“Hating the Troops: This Generation’s Moon Landing?”
“Is Ben Franklin Still Our Best President?”
“Daylight Savings Time...AGAIN, the Democrats Refuse to Spend”
“We Can Spray Whipped Cream from a Can, But Not Mayonnaise? Are We in Red China?”

This’ll get you started buddy, lemme know if you need more!