Resume. Christ.

I just got off the phone with some woman about a job interview on Tuesday, and, just like they always do, the last thing she said was "be sure to bring your resume." Which annoys the fucking shit out of me. Why do I have to bring it - don't you already have it? Isn't that how/why you contacted me? Or I'm sorry, did you just randomly pick my phone number and call me? Fucking christ. The thing about the resume being what it is is just that: it's a single sheet of paper. But you can't show up at the interview carrying a rolled-up sheet of paper, or folded in your pocket. So now you think well, I'll have it in a crisp, fresh manilla folder. But once you take the resume out and hand it to the interviewer, you're sitting there with an empty manilla folder, which makes you look like a fucking idiot. So you gotta throw other stuff in there too, make it seem like "oh, this resume is just one of the many, MANY important things I have going on in my crisp, fresh manilla folder today!" Then you decide you can't walk around with a folder looking like white trash, so you upgrade to your attache. Then you think "I can't be a guy that uses something called an 'attache'", the implication being that you blow dudes in the Staples parking lot, so now you gotta get a briefcase so you look like Mr. Super Business Guy. And again, now you gotta fill the briefcase up with fake shit. "Important documents", a US News & World Report, and about 16 pounds of hard candy. All this for one fucking sheet of paper. Why dont I put the paper in a folder, the folder in a briefcase, the briefcase in a lockbox, the lockbox in a deep freezer, the deep freezer into an armored truck which I can now drive off the Brooklyn Bridge and fucking kill myself. All because you insist that I bring along a single sheet of paper...that you already have. Arrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!