"A girl cut one-legged football player’s penis off.
A candidate of master of sports, a player of Spartak football team of disabled people, Pavel Morozov, was brutally murdered by his pal and his drunk girlfriend for refusing to have sex with her.
I like how the headline blares that he had his dick cut off, but doesn't mention "oh yeah, and he died" til the article.
Olga grabbed a kitchen knife, unzipped the fly on Pavel’s pants and chopped his penis off. Yelling and screaming, the girl put the male organ into Pavel’s mouth and stabbed him in the chest. Having killed the guy that way, Olga and her boyfriend took the body out in the street and threw it on the ground. After that they came back to the apartment to continue the booze.
And I still brag about getting a t-shirt sleeve torn at the Nest on the bathroom door lock, and still pounding beer afterwards. Jesus christ. (barely have stomach to make "oh, this 'football' is soccer, so he didn't have a dick in the first place" joke)
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