I don't date a lot. Well, not at all, really. Okay, the last time I was actually on a date a waiter rushed to our table with a telegram PEARL HARBOR HIT BY JAPS STOP GET BACK TO OFFICE ASAP STOP. So I can't really say I'm on expert on such things, but...
...is Ronnie the Perv's date scene in Little Children the best first date ever? First of all, we get to see Kelly Leak on a date for the first time since he was playing air hockey to get up in Tatum O'Neal's love flaps, so right off the bat that's kinda cool. Plus, she drives, so he doesn't hafta worry about drinking too much. Yeah, maybe he's gotta slip the roofie into her iced tea but whatevs. Then the conversation at dinner is great; mostly of course her mentioning that she's completely out of her fucking mind, and can't have kids. And she's easy to please - we know this cause after he gives her the "compliment" of "You're not so bad," she reacts gushingly, as if he'd just given her an anal orgasm with a brand new diamond ring. Now she's smitten! Finally, he wraps things up (cough) by pulling out his dick and jerking off next to her in the car while she cries. Fucking a. Oh yeah, AND he gets her leftovers from dinner!!
Boy, has dating changed....I gotta get back in the game!!!!! (dusting off bottle of Canoe cologne)
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