Via this site:
1. Dump the Trump. Not just from Macy's really, but from whatever else he's involved with these days. Though I'd love to get a peek at what I'm sure is his already-scripted "Macy's has always been a loser!" Tweet.
2. Could the Papa John's asshole quit threatening to fire his workers because we might hafta pay 14 cents more for his shitty pizza?
3. Bury power lines in towns, so every time there's a stiff breeze we don't hafta spend billions on disaster relief. I mean, enough's enough already with that shit, right?
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