Big Smack to My Forehead

I love a Big Mac like the next guy, even though I've bitched on these pages many times before about:

- It’s remarkable to me that after 50 years McDonalds Big Mac is still so popular considering its total absence of structural integrity. Has anyone ever finished one before it started completely falling apart? 😡

- How is this sandwich so popular when its so big but only has one slice of cheese?

- The box it comes in is exactly as wide as the sandwich itself it, meaning to pick it up you've gotta scrape the buns and start tearing/unsettling the shit before you've even started.

Meanwhile Matt Yglesias points out an article dissing the Big Mac in favor of some upscale NYC version of it, the Big Schmacc at Smashed: 

A big part of what makes the Big Mac appealing in pictures,” a burger aficionado I know mused the other day, “is that the patties extend past the perimeter of the bun. But then you actually get one, and most of the time you can barely even see the patties.” We were sitting outside Smashed NYC, a new burger shop on the Lower East Side. He peeled back the black-and-white checkered wax paper folded around the Big Schmacc, a highlight of the menu. Two thin jagged-edged disks of deeply browned ground beef hung floppily over the limits of three halves of Martin’s “Big Marty’s” sesame roll; there was clear visual evidence, too, of sharp-cornered, barely melted slices of American cheese, shredded iceberg lettuce, crinkle-cut pickle coins, and Creamsicle-colored Smash Sauce. “This is what it’s supposed to look like,” he explained, with the authority of a biologist.

Okay fine, nobody's ever gonna be bragging about how a Big Mac looks. But then Yglesias points out this line from the author:

I confess that I’ve never tried a Big Mac—because I’ve seen what it looks like in real life.

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE ALREADY - if you're going to write an entire article trashing something at least fucking try it first! Nobody would care if you said you know what, I've had a Big Mac and it sucks, but this kind of bullshit negates everything this idiot has to say about the (probably amazing) Big Schmacc. As Yglesias fumes:

The problem is that this is a professional work of journalism whose subject is a restaurant doing a riff on a Big Mac. Experience eating Big Macs is so directly relevant to executing the story, that the author had to go out of her way to mention that she’s never had a Big Mac. But so do the reporting! Buy yourself a Big Mac and explain the difference between the two. It’s not like this is some kind of impossible assignment — where will I find a Big Mac? How will I get the expense approved?

I've just about had it with these fucking people. I mean life is already hard enough, for fuck's sake.