Even as a Left-Wing Socialist, I Have to Say the Answer to This is "No"

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you declare in 2006 that if you became president you'd help out dudes on first dates?"

Sigh. Yes it was, faithful readers, YES it was:

10) THE GOVERNMENT WILL FUND 6 FIRST DATES per year for every dude who makes under $40,000/year. If you’re a woman or a dude with money, you can go on as many dates as you want. Rich dudes because they have the money, women because they don’t need to pay anyway; they both can "serial date" - ie go on an endless stream of "what the hell, you never know" dates. Dudes with not that much money, not so easy. Many is the time we think ‘gee, I’d like to ask that girl out." But first of all, you have to make sure that you have enough money for a classy first date should she accept. And you have to do so without letting yourself think "oh shit, what if she wants to go on a SECOND date??!!" You know what your dating budget for the week or month is, so you have to be VERY selective. Sure, this chick you just met might be great, but what if she isn’t? Too bad, cause you’ve blown your big date money on her when you could’ve asked someone else out. See what I’m talking about? So I’d have a program that, upon qualifying, gives you $100 for a first date (up to 6 per year.) That should be enough without going too crazy; maybe we can have an emergency "I’m About to Close the Deal but Need $20 for a Cab/Condoms/thing you shake up and it snows inside" fund – you can punch in a code at an ATM to get this cash. Whatever, but this will at least partially level the playing field. And it’s for first dates ONLY; if you decide to go on a second date with anyone, you’re on your own. You may need to stall til the next payday with some old favorites like "why don’t we just watch a video at your house, get to know each other?" or the "Im outta town for work" line. At least by this point she is way into you and totally blind to your coming over to her house and eating all her food while spending so much time in the bathroom with her sister’s high school yearbook.