Euro Baptists

These Southern-fried Red States that turn their noses up at Blue State college-educated abortion-loving liberals whose sole reason for being is to be as European as possible have always chafed me. “Book-smart wanna-be Euro fags” they sneer. Read books? Fag. Can speak French? Fag. Been to Europe? Fag.

But something has recently occurred to me. My newfound love for “Extras” has led me to scope out the BBC more, and I've begun to realize just how similar the Red State Rednecks and the Queen-loving Brits really are. Based on tv, of course. For instance, they both have that fake politeness about them; HORRIFIED to be rude in front of others no matter what is happening. Oh, they’ll talk behind your back, but both groups of people act like they’re getting paid by the smile and polite nod. Puke on one of them, oh don’t worry, no problem don’t fret! Smile, smile smile.

Also there’s the tea thing. Southern babies are bottle-fed tea, and of course the Brits stop whatever they’re doing at 4pm for tea. Sure, one is iced and the other is hot, but tea is tea. Lil TOO coincidental, isn’t it?

And, finally, there’s this:





I mean, camon.

So maybe we all can take one more step closer to realizing you know what, we’re all more alike than we think. The South gave us Elvis, England gave us the Beatles, now can we all get together for a big, fat, sweaty hug?

(Full disclosure: I’m from the South, was slow myself acknowledging that Europe matters, hated the French BEFORE it was hip, and can’t read.)