Live-Blogging BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE!

Op (or, as Sistatime! calls him, "Opie") is at the Bruce show at the Meadowlands and is texting me updates, so I figgered I'd let yall in with some live-blogging!  Since this is Bruce in NJ, don't expect to be in bed before midnight.

7:26pm Op is in the stadium. "only buzz is ope might get drunk"

7:31pm apparently Op has some new jeans which are making him feel, and I quote, "sexy."

8:23pm Bruce opens up with a brand new song, Wrecking Ball. ugh.

8:31pm "strong finish. must say, feels right."

8:36pm apparently his sexy jeans are the only thing that prevented Op from bawling during No Surrender. crybaby pussy?

8:41pm Outlaw Pete. "piss break."

8:46pm Op is under the impression that if animals could play guitar, the best would be an octopus. hmm.

8:51pm Hungry Heart. Not an Xmas slice. Ironically, I'm always hungry, and will prolly die of a heart attack. Hopefully not before Born to Run.

8:54pm Op's wondering why the crowd is nonplussed for Working on a Dream. My guess is it's because the song kinda blows. Or else they've all noticed Op's sexy Toughskins and aren't paying attention to Bruce. Who's to say which is right?

8:55pm "your t-mobile temporary password is CJ7E5." wtf. oh, that's not from Op. sorry.

9:02pm Badlands. "not angry enough."  ohoh. (Mamalizza!  take the kids, run!! dont be there when he gets home!!!) 

9:10pm "video backdrops of clouds." sounds like Op is being "escorted outside"? hmm. let's wait and see.

9:12pm "Adam not angry enough either." I'm starting to wonder why I'm friends with Op. If he's that pissed with Bruce, what the fuck's gonna happen to me?

9:14pm "can still feel how deep you plowed me last night." whoops!  another mistake, not from Op. sorry!

9:15pm sometimes I really wish I had a dog. ah well.

9:16pm nothing. been a while since last text.

9:18pm still nothing

9:20pm if anyone knows anybody at the Bruce show, call them and ask them to find a tall dude in sexy jeans that looks like Abe Lincoln and is lying on the ground (apparently with still-balled-up fists) and ask them to poke him with a stick. thanks!

9:23pm maybe Bruce is done? the quickest Bruce set ever? "whats that, 8 songs, fuck it yeah, that's enough, I'm out. Clarence ate Nils' trampoline anyways, so fuck it."

9:28pm I dont wanna freak his family out, but at this point I'm pretty sure Op's dead. Sorry.

9:28pm Police Academy goin head-to-head with Hoosiers? are you fucking shitting me?

9:30pm HE'S ALIVE!!!!!  shew!  Racing in the Street. "funereal slice." oh, okay, he's not dead, he's just been blubbering, prolly with his arms around some fat, shirtless fuck from NJ, each other's flat $11 beers sloshing away their tears.

9:32pm I just started to ask myself "why bother putting pm in the times? would people really wonder if it was am or pm?" then I remembered Bruce is 115 years old, so it might not be all that crazy one day. Just like after Jimmy Chitwood announces he'll play if the coach stays: "The PM's stay!!!" (slapping keyboard, but it bounces right back up and hits me in the face, making me cry a little bit (also because of the war)) (ripping up paper triumphantly) 

side note: in the "now that Jimmy is gonna play if the Coach stays"re-vote, who the FUCK are these people who still vote "no"?  dude shot 112 for 112 in the movie!! fucking Alec Baldwin from the Campfire Boy skit on SNL could be the coach we're voting on, and if it means Jimmy'll play you better fucking vote "YES" with a "Thank you, Coach, he likes gin!" smile on your face.


9:38pm they should do a "Where are They Now?" on the Hickory Huskers. Jimmy, in the NBA Hall of Fame. Ollie still jumping up and down like after those free throws he hits. The other five guys wandering around, wondering who the fuck is who. "You? I thought I was Merle?!!? Who the fuck is Rade?" "YOU'RE Rade!!" "Goddammit!" (head slap)

9:39pm "Factory. Piss break." Hey, Op hates the American worker. Awesome. (probably blacks, too, though I cannot speak for him.) (but probably.)

9:40pm having my first vodka/diet coke of the night. A "skinny bitch," according to fellow Bruce fan andtheend. Though unlike me and Op, she has not met The Boss. Does that make us better than her? Well, no, her being a woman does that, obviously, but not meeting Bruce like us doesn't help her case a whole lot. Life: a kick in the short pants, eh?

9:41pm "Streets of Fire. Now we're talkin. Not a Michael Pare in sight." hold on - could this be because Pare is busy - dare I dream of Eddie and the Cruisers III??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

9:45pm "my twin sister sheila's in town, wanna fuck us?"

9:51pm ffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I'm sorry guys, I did it again. not from Op. Hey, this just in: I AM NOT PERFECT!!!!! even if i DO get a uniquely high amount of sweet, young, scat-porn addicted tail!!!!!!!!!

9:52pm as he's playing Darkness on the Edge of Town in sequence tonight, I know Op's super-slice Prove It All Night is coming up next. which live clocks in at approximately 2 shawshank redemptions plus me doing the 100m high hurdles. might be awhile.

10:07pm just got a blizzard of texts. Prove It was extremely disappointing (ohoh.) followed by Waitin on a Sunny Day (ohoh.) Ooooh, I'm Goin Down! Superslice!!!!

10;11pm I wouldn't say this is by far a record for texts in one night for me, but I just got an email from T-Mobile asking if I'd like to replace my stolen phone. jesus christ. heckled by T-Mobile. I will now pretend this is anywhere close to being the worst that that has ever happened to me. a new low.

10:12pm "Be True. another sophomore go-to song in car before basketball game." Wow. Good thing for the other team they didn't know about that - I'm sure there's nothing a basketball team fears more than a white guy who's just been pumped up by mid-tempo Springsteen studio outtakes. Bullet dodged!!!! "oh no, he's displaying fine sportsmanship and is making crisp passes!! He's been listening to Bruce!!!!!!!!!! We are FUUUUUCKED!!!"

1016pm Janeane Garafolo on Bill Maher. god I've love to bang her. pull her on roller skates with a rope like that dog in that flick she made with Uma, then stop suddenly so she cant stop from rolling onto my cock. damn.

10:17pm "thunder road"

10:22pm "Bruce's secaucus haircuts been bothering me." hmm. maybe Op's new jeans are TOO sexy? might be a bit too popular with the fellas in his section, no?

10:25pm "Long Walk Home. This song fucks with me deep, much as I want to write off." hey, Op's an idiot, what can i tell you.

10:29pm "movq." Hmm. now i know what people mean when they say "i dont understand what Op is saying. and do you think  he took a dude to prom? just wondrin."

10:35pm "The Rising. people next to me are eating cookies." cookies? You know, Op once told me that he was going to meet his wife at a Bruce show. and apparently he has. and she's 6 years old.

10:38pm hiyooo, Op's sister Kdawggy is with him, and she just texted me. to which I replied "who is this?" so i could act as if I know other people with a Manhattan area code. ha!!

10:39pm kdawggy: "youre dead to me."  ohoh. i might have played that one a little TOO cool. a miscalculation, one might say.

10:41pm Born to Run. here we go. we're nearing the end, which is good, since ive never gone the length of a Bruce concert without masturbating.

10:42pm Op calls me, Bobby Jean. Holds up his phone through the whole song. Fucking bawling. Thanks, Op. I love you brother.

10:45pm Typical Op: his thumbs are about to fall off from texting, and Kdawggy breezes in and gets her mug on Xmastime. Life, eh?

10:55pm okay, while i was waiting for the life-sized picture of kdawggy to print out to put on my wall my computer unfreeze, we missed Cadillac Ranch, American Land (superslice) and, apparently, fireworks during band intros. "Sis thinks they're for her." Awesome.

10:58pm ooooh, Dancing in the Dark!  sliiiiiiiiiiice! Hey, I wonder if Bruce'll pull Kdawggy up to dance a la Courtney Cox. Of course, then Op gets dragged away after trying to bury a Meadowlands-safe plastic cup of Budweiser into Bruce's skull. (fingers crossed, kdawggy!!!) 

11:02pm speaking of kdawggy, she was once told she had "perfect internal viscera." yes, that means she's a witch. and that makes me sad  :(


11:06pm "Rosalita. piss break." Op's correct here, Rosalita blows. Plus, if he doesn't repair to perform his toillette, he'd be drenched in his own piss. Op is nothing if not a self-aware man.


11:08pm oh for fucks sake, how long DOES this old fucker play? i am now capable of committing the perfect crime, as I have no fingerprints left. fucking christ.


11:10pm yyyeeeeeeeeees, you got me, I stole that fingerprints riff from my slice of slices, The Star Spangled Girl. congrats Sherlock, youre a fucking genius. now go eat a bag of dicks.

11:12pm anybody get that clever wordplay there? sherlock holmes, dicks? detectives = dicks? PLUS John Holmes had a huge dick? anybody? no? christ. this is what ive become.

11:15pm "OMG!!! THERE ARE SHOTS!!!! SHOTS HAVE RUNG OUT!! BRUCE IS DOWN!! BRUCE IS DOWN!!!"

11:23pm whoops, okay, turns out Bruce is fine. there will be no more sax for the rest of the night, but Bruce didn't get hit.

11:30pm "left before end of rosie. on train." well, i guess thats it. thank god. big Xmastime hug to Op & Kdawggy!  :)

Official Op Grade: "C+/B-" thats actually pretty good, Op is a harder marker than most. "Kelly or Jessie? Blech. Neither." - Op June 2, 2003 

LE FIN!