Christmas Ideas. I Have Them.

Tracy Ullman's incredible They Don't Know should be a sad Christmas song; there should be a version in which "they don't know about us" is replaced with "they don't know Christmas" "everybody loves Christmas".

You're welcome, Earf!! Tracy Ullman, call me! 🕺

RANDOM OLD XMASTIME COMMENTS I NEVER SAW

From 2006.

It Was 20 Years Ago (Yester)Day

It was an all-time thrill, having my song Hope You Had Fun on the Smash or Trash segment of the all-time legendary Tom Scharpling's The Best Show:

For you Hayday fans out there, check out Greg on WFMU. Scroll down to the August 29 show and click. Scroll ahead to about the 2 hours and 30 minutes mark and sit back, enjoy.

(Some of you Marah fans & friends of Xmastime MIGHT recognize a few of the call-in voices 😜🤣🕺🎸)

I'm also glad to finally be able to post the clip of it here after all these years and don't worry yes I cut out the actual playing of the song (it's a great song but 6 minutes is 6 minutes, you can listen to it HERE.)

As I said 20 years ago (yester)day, enjoy!

Xmastime · Greg Best show SMASH OR TRASH from 2006 9.2.2026

Current Events Question

Can you do Epstein Island next?

NEW XMASTIME SERIES

This is Why Women Hate Us (It Wasn't Me)

This is definitely the worst one yet. Congrats, piss boys! 😡

 

Xmastime Pro Tip: Interior Decorating

Wanna double the number of wireless lamps in the room? Put them by a window at night - PRESTO!

What's the German Word...

...for suddenly realizing you're older than Larry David was when Curb Your Enthusiasm debuted? 😬

Holy Crap du Jour

Is this the first time I've ever seen a YouTube video that's hit the 20 years ago milestone?? 😲😲😲🤯🤯🤯

 

I'm an Enigma, Wrapped in a Riddle, Wrapped in Toughskins

I pretty much love every Neil Diamond song I've ever heard and I love The Monkees but I'm a Believer is one of my least-favorite Monkees songs. 😬

Sketch Comedy Ideas Update, You're Welcome

XMASTIME FILMS

SNOWFLAKE IN CHIEF

Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here

A Note on the Interior Gatefold of The Beatles Red & Blue Compilation Albums

Did you really have to use the same photo for both? Really? NO others pictures of these guys floating around you coulda thrown in there for the fans instead? FFS it's not like now where we have access to every photo ever taken; back in 1973 you'd thirst for photos of your heroes like water in a desert. NOT cool, Apple Records! 😡

 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

"And she said man Del Shannon almost ruined Runaway
When he stuck us with Hats Off to Larry,
And then she puked Mountain Dew Cake Smash Slurpee all over my Chucks."

 

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

1-Sentence Xmastime Web Series Review – Dugout Dads

Bringing together the cast of The Sandlot for some easy laughs mixed with nostalgia is brilliant; keeping the episodes to only 4-5 minutes is merciful genius.

I'll Say This.

There is no real making-lemonade-outta-lemons scenario about when AI flips the switch & eliminates millions of jobs overnight, but if I must find one bright spot it would definitely be that at least we'll no longer hafta hear about billionaires "wringing their hands!!" that if we'd only unleash them by eliminating taxes & regulations then they'd be able to create jobs, both out of thin air & out of some magnanimity borne from our being made to believe creating jobs is the reason they started their businesses in the first place, which is absolute bullshit that millions of fucking idiots in this country fall for on a fucking 24/7 basis.

Worlds Colliding du Jour

Current Events

It’s kind of funny that out of all the who-fucking-knows-how-many people I’ve seen on tv screeching on & on about the evils of left-wing indoctrination at colleges across America not one of them has been a person who’s been a college student at any point within the last 20 years.

Hot Lobby

Some time ago Marley said the reason I've never seen the same person in my apartment building twice is because since its close to the airport it's a layover for assassins which was really funny until I started noticing that the two women who work the front lobby desk every night until 11pm are way too smoking hot for such a thing.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Year of Andy Kapp Has Begun with a Banger

I don't know why but a few minutes ago I decided this was finally gonna be the year I get into Andy Kapp & I hafta say, today's strip is legit funny. 🤗🤣🤗🇬🇧

The Tragic Soon-to-Be Missed Opportunity of Artificial Intelligence

AI could be the incredible thing humankind has been waiting for to free us from drudgery and devote our energy to living happier lives but to do so would take ultra-heavy regulation by the government, and unfortunately AI’s arriving at the exact worst possible time for this:

1. America has millions of people who think saying “the government can’t do nuthin!” “the gub'ment's evil!” etc makes them sound smart, when what it really does it let politicians know they can do whatever they want since they don’t have to give a shit how these people think or vote. 

2. The last 10 years in particular have been the greatest instance in modern history of the federal government itself stuffing people’s heads with a blizzard of disinformation, including a Nicene Creed that regulation of any kind is anti-American, with layer after layer of fake news fakes news fake news fakes news etc etc 

3. We’ve been sold this life-crippling fantasy of “American exceptionalism” and “you can be just as successful as the richest man in the world!” under the guise of “freedom”, so instead of the 99% of us circling our wagons together to demand the government enact harsh regulations that protect us against the whims of the 1%, we’ll be teased with the promise of BECOMING part of the 1%

We're told that if goshdarnit we just believed in the American freedom that pushes us to work 3 jobs scrubbing toilets until our backs break while voting for tax cut after tax cut for the uber-uber-wealthy then WE will become one of the 4 dudes at the top of the mountain getting all the cash, and in 2026 America there is no easier task to accomplish than a rich guy getting a poor guy to trust him with whatever power and money the poor person can hand over to him.

We can make a grand bargain with AI and have happy, fulfilling lives during the few short decades we’re on this Earth, or we can destroy ourselves in the arena fighting for scraps we’ll never be allowed to taste anyway. Take a wild guess which one we’ll decide to do.