Questions About THE OFFICE. I Have Them.

What’s gonna happen when Michael Scott sees the documentary & realizes everyone he's always thought of as family has always hated him? 🤔🤷‍♂️

 

Gavin Manning Clinton

This article asks the question IS GAVIN NEWSOM PEAKING TOO SOON? and I’m not even gonna bother reading this article since I know the answer is most likely YES Gavin Newsom has peaked ay too soon, but the time the election’s here most people will either r be sick of him or assume he’s gonna win so they tune it all out anyway. 

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn’t you say this exact same thing years ago about Hillary Clinton and Peyton Manning?”over a dozen years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

Hillary won't get elected for many reasons, but it's just occurred to me that she is the 1997 Peyton Manning of the race. Remember Peyton back then? As soon as the 1996 Hesiman winner was announced, everybody in the free world said well, next year Peyton will run away with it. A no-brainer. The months went on and on and all anybody talked about was how Peyton was definitely gonna win the award. Then a funny thing happened. People got tired of talking about him being the only choice. Even though he clearly deserved to win it, people simply got tired of talking about him and started looking for reasons to vote for somebody else, anybody else. The average voter thought fuck it, I'm tired of hearing about Peyton - I'll vote for so and so; it's only one vote anyway, Peyton will still win. And ta-da! He didn't win.

Viva Límon!

Curent Events

The casual relationship the Trump administration has with discipline means there's 100% chance there will be massive Epstein File leaks all over Europe & they're gonna run into some pissed off dude who's not gonna give a shit about protecting the tender feelings of the American GOP & its wannabe king and that's when all of the shit will finally come out.

Xmastime Films

XMASTIME'S 1ST CHIP BUTTY 🇬🇧

Goals. I Have Them.

I wanna get into a political discussion with someone who has kids so I can steer them into starting a sentence with “hey look I’ve got kids at home who-” just so I can cut him off with “oh are they yours?”

Not Counting PEANUTS Of Course

Garfield
Bloom County
The Far Side
B.C. / The Wizard of Id


Also, surely there's a documentary out there about how odd/incredible it was that Johnny Hart did B.C. and The Wizard of Id at the same time?

Something You Should Know About Me

I don't spend too much time being nostalgic for the 90s like everyone else seems to be but if people are coming at me then I'm gonna come right back with some Timothy fucking Stack, people.

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

If I die a fucking second before I'm supposed to I'm gonna be furious, but if I have to I'd want it to be from drowning while saving a dog.

I'll Try to Find You Left of the Dial

Left of the Dial defined Amerindie college rock, one of the most important music scenes of my lifetime, and the guitar riff sliding back in after the break is probably my favorite Paul Westerberg moment of all time.

RIP Lynn Bakey

The great Lynn Blakey has passed. A North Carolina-based musician, Lynn played with Let's Active, Oh-OK, & Tres Chicas & inspired one of the greatest songs of all time, The Replacements' "Left of the Dial."

 

 

Call Me Crazy but du Jour

Call me crazy but I love all the Affleck Dunkin shit. 🤗🤣🕺🍩🍩🍩🍩

While I'm Doing Hot Takes...

...from what I've ascertained over the years anecdotally, my believing 100% that the whole Knights Who Say "Ni" thing is 100% not funny at all would put me up against about 99.9999% of fans of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 🤷‍♂️

 

The New Yoker Cartoon du Jour

Simply hilarious & hilariously simple, no notes!! 🤣👏🤣👏🤣👏🤣👏

(Except to The New Yorker itself - why do you not put the artist's names next to these?????? 😡 😡 😡 😡)

I'll Say This.

I'm not a real "back in my day!" guy but I will say that back in my day we really did get 90 of these fuckers for $1, so now you tell me.

 

The Internet is Amazing, Part Infinity 🤗🎸🕺

Back when Rrthur (yes ladies, THAT Rrthur!) absolutely R O C K E D !!!!!!!!!

DT & THE SHAKES on Spotify HERE and Facebook HERE and yes people, you ARE welcome!!

State du Moi

"OMG I'm gonna die 10 feet outside of Panera."

 

Oh God Please Let this Be the Only MAGA Bullshit I Post Today

While re-watching Stephen Fry's thoroughly delightful Stephen Fry in America series I was reminded of a Gore Vidal quote, and by "I was reminded of a Gore Vidal quote" I of course mean I watched Stephen Fry say it while re-watching his thoroughly delightful Stephen Fry in America series, I can't help but think this 100% applies to MAGA: 

"The Puritans left England for America not because they couldn't be Puritans in their mother country, but because they were not allowed to force others to become Puritans; in the New World, of course, they could and did."

Yes Thank You CNN Because It's a Real Fucking Mystery

An Open Letter to Podcasters Out There

Dear Podcasters Out There:

Don't make me sit through an hour of some THE BEST 20 BBC SITCOMS OF ALL TIME list while on the edge of my seat only to reveal in the end that not only is Only Fools and Horses NOT #1, but it’s not even on the list at all. I give these particular podcasters credit for thoroughly addressing the issue at the end, since it's impossible to ignore, but doing so only revealed that shows such as Vicar of Dibley/Ab Fab/The Royle Family/Extras etc. weren’t even in the Top 20 either, which should have set off alarm bells and made them just find another list to go through.

ALSO: these podcasters in particular are further dinged for all somehow having the fourth season of Blackadder as their least favorite when it’s fucking obvious to anyone with a brain it’s the best of the entire series, so. 😡

I remain, 

Xmastime

I Stand Alone On This OFAH Island (cue dramatic noise)

I've never understood why To Hull and Back is everybody's de facto Top 5 episodes if not their absolute favorite; I understand the excitement of it being the series' first full movie-length & all but 

1. the whole "let's not have a laugh track!' idea is fine except in this case it only highlights the fact that there's not a lot to laugh at

2. I understand the whole "let's have three idiots somehow drive a huge steel commercial ship to another country" makes for great storytelling decades later but while watching it strains credulity to the point that you'd hafta be Trigger himself to swallow it

3. I understand the whole "let's film the Nag's Head & their flat ("flat" means "apartment", you fucking rubes") at different angles than we normally do and even reveal a heretofore never-seen fourth wall in the Trotters' flat (again, "flat" means "apartment", you fucking rubes") makes you film like Spielberg but it's only disorienting at best and totally sucks while being disorienting at second-best

It's not near the bottom of my list of episodes, I think I can honestly say it's MY LEAST FAVORITE EPISODE OF ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES!!!

BUT

APPARENTLY, I am the only Only Fools and Horses fan who's ever thought like this, based on every other fan's opinion about the episode that I've ever seen in my entire life, so 🤷‍♂️.

 

And for all my bitching - which I 100% stand by! - this is a pure delight to watch. 🤗🕺🇬🇧❤️