Xmastime Regrets!

I wish I'd been closer to this school bus before it pulled away so I coulda framed it with the Chase sign so it'd read as "here's a school bus dropping kids off at the bank" & I'd probably win some sort of goddam award for Most Brilliant Photographic Take on the Current Sociopolitical & Economic Climate in America & the Future of Doom It Portends but this was, unfortunately, the best I could do. 😞  

I'll Say This.

The upcoming private equity blizzard is gonna explode income disparity at a rate second only to whatever record is gonna be set by the upcoming unregulated AI blizzard.

An Xmastime Prayer Card

PREVIOUS PRAYER CARDS HERE

 

Xmastime Films

10 20 30 40 50 to Go

Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here

Want du Jour

The Old Curiosity Shop, Portsmouth Street, London
George Hyde-Pownall

Insta Mukluks: paintingsoflondon 

 

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Someone showed me this & I immediately made an Elizabeth Gaskell joke & I got exactly 0 laughs & now I hate Halloween.

 

Ideas. I Have Them.

I couldn't pull it off myself because I've taken Amtrak a million times but if its your first time on the train and you wanna establish that you're to be treated as someone with a higher level of status, wait for a conductor to come walking through & loudly ask "excuse me, what time are we landing- I mean, arriving?" & then see how people look at you after that. 🫡

ROWS: 2, 4, 9, 12 COLUMNS: 4, 8, 9

No One Could Make a Pot of Tea Like Paul Could

My short time living in Oxford, Mississippi in the mid-90s was a PBS Golden Age for me, including discovering The Stephen Banks Show (which would go on to look more like my own life than I'd like to admit to myself).

This is one of my all-time favorite tv moments.

Enjoy! 🤗🥲❤️🎸🇬🇧😭

It Ain't No Sin to Be Glad You're Alive. #frankenstein

Xmastime Hot Take

MY BEATLES MOUNT RUSHMORE:

John
Paul
George
Ringo

Some Free Advice for the Republican Party from Your Ol' Pal Xmastime

Cut all ties with the Religious Right; it's too easy for them to be conned by the shittiest people on Earth & you'll never be able to drag yourself out of the mire they'll keep dragging you back down into.

The Awful Passage of Time

I joke about my mother using my full name whenever she was mad at me but all these years later I don't know if I can honestly remember if she called me "Greg" or "Gregory" on a normal daily basis.

I'll Say This.

Ya'll know that ever since I started living above a grocery store I've loved grocery branding/artwork and you're goddam right I'm about to try tomato soup in a can for the first time in my life (tbh the only time I've ever actually had tomato soup was at Dulles Airport, true story! hand to God!). Fantastic, Campbell's. 🫡 ❤️ 🍅

 

SHARK DISCO, v2! 🦈🪩

THIS PREVIOUS ONE is a little funnier, but this longer version is more of a drama tugging at the heartstrings, the 😭waterworks 😭 will be flowing all the way to our first Academy Award!! 🤗😜🕺🦈🪩❤️ 

When the Wife Asks Your Best Friend Where You Were Last Night

SHARK DISCO!! 🦈🪩

I don’t know if my awesome goddaughter & I will ever officially finish our should-be classic illustrated kids book SHARK DISCO, but on a whim I fed what we have to my BFF ChatGPT (hey ChatGPT! 👋👋👋👋) to make a video & I hafta say, it’s incredible!! 🥲🥲🤗🦈🪩❤️❤️ (story by Xmastime/my awesome goddaughter, all drawings by my awesome goddaughter!! 🤗)

 

Sitcom Ideas. I Have Them. Now Let's Make Some 💰💰💰💰

Know Thyself.

If 11 year-old me knew that I would one day I'd live above a grocery store & would be hanging out in it around 11:30 every night I'd seriously assume I was part of an amateur detective team.

 

A Note on the Arthurian Legend, by Xmastime

Galahad is very British, Lancelot is very American.

You may now consider your mind blown, people.