Idea for Sale

Dear Democrats Currently Fighting Against Robert Kennedy Jr.'s Idiotic MAHA Shit:

You may buy from the saying I just came up with so that you may then print billion$$$$:

You can't have MAHA without MWA-ha-ha!

You're welcome,
Xmastime

Documentary I'd Pay to Watch du Jour

Two solid, no-nonsense hours about McCartney's solo on Taxman:

…although EMI engineer Geoff Emerick provided a withering account of Harrison's initial efforts to work out a solo, this was more reflective of Emerick's personality and is not borne out in McCartney and Harrison's recollections. McCartney said that he was discussing his idea for the solo with Harrison, and Harrison invited him to play it on the recording. Harrison said he was happy to have the song recorded for Revolver and was not fussed about who played the guitar solo. He added: "I was pleased to have him play that bit on 'Taxman'. If you notice, he did like a little Indian bit on it for me."

Lots to unpack here guys, let's make this happen!!!

Whoever Did This: I Will Find You. And Then I Will Destroy You.

"Wild"? Judgey McJudgerson Much, Abe?

Current Events

One big reason Trump has such terrible ideas on things such as tariffs and international treaties is that he's lived in the United States since 1947 and somehow seems to have no idea what a superpower is & both the responsibility and the magnanimity that must come with being one.

A Few Thoughts on Episode 2 of Season 5 of TED LASSO

WARNING: THESE ARE AS I TYPED THEM, I WILL NOT BE EDITING THIS SHIT, TOUGH LUCK LOSERS

49 MINUTES long??!?!!?!? Grrr
Ted’s living above May’s bar now??? oooh I love it!!! What took so long??!?!
They need to recreate the American Werewolf in London opening pub scene. I can’t believe it’s taken this long for me to think of it to be honest.
Rebecca calls him “Leslie”; How can u call someone Leslie when you could be calling them “Higginzzzzzzzza!!!”???
Why are they going so much out of their way to tell us Higgins has to go thru this 6-inch thick binder & summarize it for Rebecca when he could just ChatGPT that shit in about a minute?
Rebeccas not gonna just lie when shes confronted about whether she ever considered hiring a woman instead of ted? Really? No wonder women get 70 cents on the dollar!!!
Is she going out of her way to say "Leslie" now? Dafuck?
You know what they shoulda started the whole season with this episode. BLAMMO! Open in Rebecca’s office and Super shoicker Ted surprise entrance!!! That woulda been better, woulda launched the entire season in about 3 minutes!!! Arghhh!!
Which reminds me, they really need to Chuck Cunningham Ted's wife & kid. Enough already, let's all just pretend they never happened and move the fuck on.
ROY KENT!!!!! FINALLY!!!! “You, Paddington fucking Bear” home run right off the bat
Oooooh Roy addicted to pills yikes 😬 camon Ted writers nobody wants to go thru this
Is “Alice Chilton” supposed to be an homage to Alex Chilton? I will look for clues! You KNOW Ted and Beard are huge Big Star fans.
What happened with Ted and Beard? Wasn’t Ted not at his wedding? Hmm.
Roy’s “your boyfriend’s here” = automatic comedy gold, this one gets funnier the older I get
I love that Beards huge picture in the hall leers into the womens locker room when the door is opened. Super creepy.
Is Ted Lasso the best at rocking the visor cap since Steve Spurrier?
Roys thing was sounding gross but…beef tallow? Mmmmmmm yes please?
I hope they keep up the weird Beard/Roy/Ted thing all season, instead of instantly crumbling like they normally do on these plot things
What exactly is Keelys role on the womens team? What happened to the business Rebecca handed her?
Not only do they still seem to have no idea what to do with Roy & Keeley but theyre basically standing around saying it themselves now? What?
I know the assistant Chilton coach is supposed to be the new star we love but so far she’s all one note? Is she even a good coach?
Wait then all of a sudden she’s the Michael Jordan of empathy, as soon as some player gets hurt?
The locker room reveal at the end got me. I am not made of stone, people.
I cant believe im saying this but is this a great episode? All the great Ted Lasso beats, all the way thru!! THE SHOULDA DITCHED THE OPENING EPISODE AND STARTED WITH THIS ONE!!!
Dammit the Beard/ted/roy conundrum is solved already grrr.
And wouldn’t ted hiring Beard back piss off Chilton after the whole big she’s staying now scene? How could it not? Why would she stick around, oh good not only did I get passed over he for the main job but now im an even lower assistant?

XMASTIME RECOMENDS du Jour

THE PERFECT BACKGROUND TV WHILE YOU"RE WORKING: early 1980s NBA basketball on YouTube.

And yes everybody, you ARE very welcome! 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

"And she said man everybody freaked out The Ramones first record
Was only 29 minutes long but they forget Revolver wrapped it up in 35,
And then she puked Mountain Dew Baja Midnight Slurpee all over my Chucks."

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

I Will Now Blow Your Little Mind, You're Welcome Very Much

Paul McCartney’s brilliant Eleanor Rigby rather famously brings the two main characters together at the very end of its tragic story...meanwhile, early on during Seinfeld’s run Larry David started his famous plot device of bringing all the characters from the different plotlines together at the end of every episode, so I guess what I’m asking is was Larry David somehow influenced by Eleanor Rigby, meaning a goddam Beatle is partly responsible for the insane success of what's generally considered to be the greatest sitcom of all time? 🤔🤯

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Luke-Warm Takes with Xmastime!!! 🔥

The Dundies being a stone-cold classic episode of The Office means that even while the show remained incredibly consistently funny over its entire run, it's possible that two of its all-time Top 10 Classic episodes came within its first seven episodes (Diversity Day is the other one).

This has been a luke warm take with Xmastime. 

To Whomever Did This:

I will find you. 😡

 

"Xmastime, stop trying to make torn short hems happen! It's not going to happen!"

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

"And she said man I'm glad the last song The Ramones ever played live
Was a Dave Clark song but it should've been Glad All Over,
And then she puked Fanta Hibiscus Berry Slurpee all over my Chucks."

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

Happy Friday the 14th Everybody! 🤗🤣🇬🇧

I'll Say This.

Roy Kent mouthing along to the words of this dreadful love song reminds us that Ted Lasso has relentlessly battered away at this "tough guys weeping along to rom-coms" trope & the fact is that the number of times the joke hasn’t been fucking hilarious is zero. 

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

Today in WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Theatre

 

Dafuck du Jour

40 years ago today, August 10, 1986. Magic Johnson’s “A Midsummer Night’s Magic” brought Larry Bird and a legendary group of NBA stars together.

I remember 1986. I was a huge Celtics fan in 1986. I was in the midst of full-on Bird worship in 1986. And yet I don't remember a whiff of a scintilla of an iota of this game, how's that possible????? 😲🤯

Nailed It.

I've bitched for years now how the #1 thing Republicans love more than anything is playing the victim card and this writer over at Salon nails it perfectly why they were jizzing themselves last week during Dr. Fauci Pretend Theatre:

It was an era when the GOP got to do what they love more than anything: play the victim as loudly as possible before huge audiences that were especially vulnerable to disinformation.

Fucking pathetic. Her last line nails it too:

There’s no more compelling indictment of MAGA than this: The moment they felt most ascendent was when everyone else was in hell.

USA!

Here's someone at The New York Times - or, as I call it, "The Times" - putting together a list of 25 objects that reveal something special about Americans.

And here's the things from the list I'm signing off on:

$4.99 Costco Rotisserie Chicken (The Costco hot dog/soda deal should go in the canon along with public libraries and old diners as an American National Treasure. 😔 - Xmastime)
T-Shirt Cannon
Pizza Hut Lamp
Tree-Shaped Air Freshener
Sad Desk Salad
Red Solo Cup (If they're party cups, why are they named "Solo"? - Xmastime)