Monday, April 20, 2026

Sometimes I Do Not Relish Being Right. This is Not One of Those Times.

I can barely muster up the energy anymore to tell you people how right I am all the time after trying to warn you people for years that the Republican Party's insane daddy issues will be the end of us all but hey whaddya know someone's finally starting to catch up (yawn):

Trump has made his daddy issues everyone’s problem, and — as evidenced by the fact that he’s currently beefing with the Pope, father of fathers — he can’t keep himself from making them worse.

Identifying with the oppressor was a habit observed by Sigmund Freud’s daughter, Anna, when she observed World War I veterans and noticed that in processing violence and trauma, they came to unconsciously mimic their tormentors, adopting their bearing and their behaviors as a way to feel control. Donald Trump learned this from his father, and from the father figures who followed; he learned to leverage it for his own purposes. The result is — well, we can all see the result: A president who salves his father’s wound by making sure the rest of us never forget how much it hurts.

Xmastime Films

XMASTIME NOTES ON: Pointing Out to Children That All the Songs They Love are About @#%ing

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Wrong Words are Funny

Yesterday my goddaughter accidentally said "hyperbolic chamber" when she meant "hyperbaric chamber" & I've been laughing ever since, imagining that the bellicose bragging one would do in a hyperbolic chamber would be that much more thunderous.

Another Country Western Song Title in Search of a Song

Daddy Said You'll Never Be a Real Man Until You've Googled Todd Packer The Office

Friday, April 17, 2026

Garfield du Jour


Xmastime Films

CELEBRATING AMERICA: Xmastime Watches the Artemis II Landing

Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here

Xmastime Films

HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH AMAZON

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WELL WELL WELL...

...after decades of our being relentlessly bleated to that the only way to have a good economy is slavish devotion to free markets, a report has been sprung saying oh gee whaddya know, that shit's actually wrong:

A report issued last month argues that the bank’s previous stance had things backward: Government intervention, when done right, can actually be an essential ingredient of economic success. Industrial policy “should be considered in the national policy toolkit of all countries,” the report concludes.

“It’s hard to overstate what a big deal this is,” Jake Sullivan, who served as national security adviser under Joe Biden, told me. “The most important institutional voice in development economics just admitted that much of what we thought we knew about what made countries prosper was wrong.” The reversal is a bit like when the U.S. government announced that dietary cholesterol and fat are actually fine, conceding that decades’ worth of nutritional advice had been in error.
Oh, and the bank they're referring too? Only that super-liberal pinko commie outfit known as (checks notes)(checks notes again) the World Bank. 

Brian: Look, I'm not going to Colorado. I'm turning around and going home.
Stewie: Fine, then, I'll go by myself. See you from the back of my milk carton. Want that on your conscience, Brian? Try explaining this to Lois. You'll wind up in a dumpster with a bunch of slow, unadoptable greyhounds.
Brian: Don't joke about that! That's like the Holocaust to us!
Stewie: Yeah, well, when greyhounds start running The New York Times and the World Bank, I'll be more inclined to believe you.


 

Teen Love: A Poem

if it hadn't been me

it would have been someone else

and it would've meant just as much to you

but if it hadn't been you

it wouldn’t have been anyone

Advice for Young People. I Have It. [SPECIAL MEN'S ONLY EDITION]

I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the young people in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on to them: it's great that whatever that thing you have that makes you attractive to women works so well in the beginning but you better have a number two thing because she'll get sick of number one pretty much right away.

PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE 

Another Country Western Song Title in Search of a Song

You Were the Closest Thing My Teen Years Ever Came to Being a John Hughes Movie & I’ll Always Love You For It Even If You Broke My Heart

SEE PREVIOUS SONGS HERE

Insta(nt) Critique

This is stone-cold LOL hilarious but woulda been funnier if it was clear the kid never even took the bat off his shoulder. 🀣

What This Weekend with My Goddaughter is Gonna Look Like πŸ€£πŸ•ΊπŸ€—❤️

Movie Ideas. I Have Them.

A Pixar short film that asks the question, "do Voyager 1 and Voyager 2 know the other one is out there?"


 

Here's Me Solving the Economy, You're Welcome

I've given up on the idea of taxing corporations, so my solution is to flip the script on them and actually GIVE them money: every year, the government PAYS THEM 1% of their earnings that year, but instead of using that money to buy another yacht they have to promise to actually invest it all back into their company, including sharing it with the company's workers (scary socialism, I know! I know!); this seems perfectly reasonable to me and is the closest thing to a win-win we’ll see anytime soon in this runaway economy of disparity.