Ya'll know that ever since I started living above a grocery store I've loved grocery branding/artwork and you're goddam right I'm about to try tomato soup in a can for the first time in my life (tbh the only time I've ever actually had tomato soup was at Dulles Airport, true story! hand to God!). Fantastic, Campbell's. 🫡 ❤️ 🍅
THIS PREVIOUS ONE is a little funnier, but this longer version is more of a drama tugging at the heartstrings, the 😭waterworks 😭 will be flowing all the way to our first Academy Award!! 🤗😜🕺🦈🪩❤️
I don’t know if my awesome goddaughter & I will ever officially finish our should-be classic illustrated kids book SHARK DISCO, but on a whim I fed what we have to my BFF ChatGPT (hey ChatGPT! 👋👋👋👋) to make a video & I hafta say, it’s incredible!! 🥲🥲🤗🦈🪩❤️❤️ (story by Xmastime/my awesome goddaughter, all drawings by my awesome goddaughter!! 🤗)
...and I'm trying to stay civil about it but what the hell happened to the Chicken Big Mac??? Where is it?? 😡😡😡😡
One thing I've always loved that still defies all logic is the fact that in 1989 the Pizza Hut in Tappahannock, Virginia, had this album on the jukebox. ("On" the jukebox? Or do people say "in" the jukebox?" Why do I feel like I've always used "on" but it suddenly feels strange? Hmm. Life guys, amirite?)
Last week for the first time in my stupid life I decided to order a hooded sweatshirt; with the cold weather (FINALLY!) upon us & my wanting to keep pushing my 10k steps every day, it seemed like the best quickthrow on/off attire for such a thing. Since I've never ordered one before I assumed my size was "lummox", ordered accordingly, and waited.
By "waited" I mean "it came the next day", and I quickly found myself totally in love with my big brown blanket-with-a-hood best friend, even though it was what seemed to be exactly one size too big; I looked like every defensive line coach in the NFL before 1999 got together & had a baby.
"You know what," I declared to myself, and ONLY myself, "I'll order the next size down - if it's a better fit, I can use the bigger one as a back-up (that's right ladies I am now rich enough to have a back-up hooded sweatshirt, you’re welcome very much) or on those occasions when I wanna spend the weekend curled up in a big soft brown hug on the couch."
The smaller one showed up & I was right, it’s perfect. However, I found myself cracking up at myself, and ONLY myself!, the first time I went walking around my building (and when I walk around the building ladies & germs I walk AROUND THE BUILDING!) in the smaller, more form-fitting sweatshirt after having done all my walking earlier in the larger one, realizing that anybody who saw me twice that day woulda done a double-take “godDAM how big did this mfer get in 2 hours?????!!”
You really should hafta pass a breathalyzer before buying this shit, I mean dafuck are we even doing here anymore guys? 😬
A sprawling circle of nephews/nieces/godsons/goddaughters/beloved-children's-empire ceremoniously gathers one Sunday every month to watch an episode of Only Fools and Horses to honor their beloved uncle/godfather/stuffed-bear-that-talks-too-much after his untimely passing at the far-too-young age of 110; hilarity/drama ensues.
LET'S MAKE SOME MONEY, PEOPLE!! 💰💰💰💰
I used to rush home from my job a few blocks off Union Square to watch when it first came on, I've loved both of these guys for a long time and it will always have a place in the Official Xmastime Heart of Hearts Club.
I'm not crying YOU'RE crying oh wait yes, that's me crying. 😭 😭 😜
Enjoy, and here's to another 25!
“And she said man when Bowie asked David Johanson who did his hairPREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE
And he said 'Johnny Thunders' I know he really meant it, man
And then she puked blue raspberry Slurpee all over my Chucks."
