Don't forget I ranked my favorite songs called ROADRUNNER a few years ago:
1) Roadrunner - The Modern Lovers
2) Roadrunner - Roadrunner tv theme song
3) Roadrunner - Junior Walker & the Allstars
Wednesday, March 18, 2026
Speaking of Jonathan Richman's Incredible ROADRUNNER
"BH Niner", A One-Act Play by Xmastime
INT. CHEZ XMASTIME – NIGHT 10:46pm
XMASTIME
How is even possible you don't already own the
complete Beverly Hills 90210 series on Apple TV?
ALSO XMASTIMEHey I'm as surprised as you are.
THE END
Wordle Rollercoaster
I somehow went from "wow I'm an idiot" to "jesus I'm even a bigger idiot than I thought a second ago" to "wow I yearn for the days before I realized I was THIS fucking stupid" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way to "oh, what genius have I now unleashed?" in exactly 3 minutes.
Oh Dear God Wegmans Bakery
This somehow reeks not only of depression but "depression inside Grandma's living room in 1973", I mean dear god Wegmans bakery.
UPDATE HOURS LATER: oh please Wegmans don't even try with this bullshit. (eyeroll)
An Open Letter to the People Who Make the Decisions at Pluto TV (which I love love love! Usually!)
Dear People Who Make the Decisions at Pluto TV (which I love love love! usually!),
Nobody loves Teen Wolf more than me - and you know this, man - but I don't think anybody has the onions to actually label it a thriller with a straight face, do they? COME ON, people who make the decisions at Pluto TV (which i love love love! usually!) Knock it off!
I remain,
Xmastime
I Am Rocked, People, ROCKED! And Not in the Good Way!!!!
As of this morning I would have taken a bullet (in a buttock) (not the good one) for Jonathan Richman, but then I found out that he's only ever played Roadrunner live 5 times since he wrote it in 1970, only once since 1990 and refuses to play it because he "can’t play songs I don’t feel anymore. "😲🤯😡Roadrunner by the Modern Lovers is the single greatest rock & roll song ever. - XMASTIME
I am gobsmacked; I can’t believe we're in a world where this is happening, to say nothing of how am I just now hearing about this??? HOW IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC 10-PART NETFLIX SERIES???? 😲🤯😡
And you’re welcome for waiting so long to make a shitty "that's like The Colonel deciding in 1975 to stop frying fucking chicken" joke here. 😡😡😡😡
And FUCK YOU Spotify 😡😡😡😡 for always trying to make me hear some shitty alternate take of what should be considered the greatest rock & roll song of all time. 😡😡😡😡
Tuesday, March 17, 2026
Color Me Suprised
Just after leaving Brooklyn in 2012 I posted:
And it's not just my friends I miss so much…it's even the other faces I've simply gotten so used to seeing after so many years...besides seeing the faces I love and the places and things I walked by thousands of times over the years, pretty much everything that's happened to me as an adult happened while I was in New York.And just now it's occurred to me that my Wegmans downstairs is the closest thing I've had to this feeling about any place since I left NYC, with all the familiar but unknown faces & the thousands of grocery items & displays I walk by over & over & day after day.
Me. I'm Really Happening, Aren't I
I can't prove it now, but I swear earlier today at work Microsoft Word autocorrected something I'd misspelled to the n-word; I stared at it for a second before quickly panic-deleting it, assuming I was about to fall thru a trap door into oblivion (or, I suppose, the 9th floor) the second IT (somehow and for some reason) spotted it.
THE NEW YORKER: The Winning Cover (of 2025)
Last July HERE I showed yall what my favorite The New Yorker covers of the year had been so far; today I rather thoughtfully give you people what I'd pared down to be my Final Four:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand here's the winner!
This is one of the few ones where I care about the message more than the overall aesthetic; as someone who loves the magic of Christmas and also can’t remember the last time I went to a store instead of ordering Amazon, this hits home a little bit in the whole "I am part of the problem" way.
See you next year!
Monday, March 16, 2026
A Few Random Thoughts ...
...on the Neil Diamond Tribute Band Movie SONG SUNG BLUE Which is an Interesting Watch but So Goddam Long That I Love Neil Diamond with All My Heart & I Don't Think I Can Make it Thru the Last 25 Minutes
(following notes unedited because fuck that how much more can I do for you people????)
I can’t tell if Hugh Jackman can really play guitar; he SEEMS to & yet it’s apparently excruciating for him to play and definitely is for me to watch? 🤔🤷♂️
If I win Powerball im buying Kate Hudson’s house since it’s seems to be just about 100% wood paneling 🤗
I'm only 20 minutes in and Im picking up an anti-Sweet Caroline vibe & Hugh baby, I am here for it. 🤗😜
Perfect mesh of Les Mis and Worlds Greatest Showman
The deep deep deep Neil cuts are impressive
I thought this guy worked?
Theyre on tv after about 5 minutes and 2 sweet Carolines? Wheres the struggle?
Ok the Pearl Jam thing got me
Was the point of the big dream sequence in the hospital just to break the record for longest dream sequence in a movie?
Ok now I have no idea if she got hit by a car
Yikes she did
The little boy actor is amazing
They should really be married.
Okay now the dark shit. I’ve never seen Hudson look pissed like that, impressive.
I had no idea the Thai restaurant karaoke decisions were like the five families meeting in a mob movie
Another car? Are cars just chasing her?
I love when it’s one nothing more horrible can happen to these people and then we get a I’m pregnant
Why can’t she just sit while playing piano?
Dear god this is a long movie
Take (Most of It) It Away
A Few Thoughts on the 1982 Paul McCartney Hit Take it Away
1) sure it's great Ringo's in the video of course but George Martin too??!?!?!?!? 😲😲😲😲 ❤️
2) The chorus is pure McCartney magic
3) Unfortunately, the rest of it is unlistenable
4) Which is unfortunate since for some reason he does everything he can to NOT play the chorus, instead deciding to ponce around some shitty arrangement that's stunning considering anyone listening would just rather the chorus be played over & over
5) Of course this being Macca means you know what fuck it, the chorus is totally worth all the trouble. 😜🤣🤣
I Am Impresed du Jour: Easter Edition
I mean look, Jesus may have done a lot of nice things but he never became a doctor. 🤷♂️
An Open Letter to the People Who Make the Decisions at Reese's
Dear People Who Make the Decisions at Reese's,
Oh FFS you absolutely RULE the chocolate/peanut butter game every other day of the year all year long, why are you selling yourself out at Easter with this pathetic display- you're Reese’s, dammit!!!! ACT like it, let the fucking Russell Stover losers dance for their shekels $for Easter. 😡😡😡😡
I remain,
Xmastime
How Petty Am I, You Ask?
I am exactly "hide my the only remaining Wegmans Great Lakes Ultra Sharp American so it's there when I'm done with my 20-minute stroll" petty, thank you for asking.
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