Saturday, November 02, 2024

Rizzo + Okay, A Little Hyperbole On My Part but I'm Not Wrong

It looks like Anthony Rizzo won't be a Yankee next year
& while I have no beef with Rizzo at all, I'd bet my next paycheck that if we look back at all the "Anthony Rizzo is coming to the Yankees!" articles at the time, about 99% of them would include the phrase "he plays the game the right way", and yet after he's long gone the only memory Yankees fans will ever have of him will be his bafflingly wrong "way of playing" that probably cost the Yankees a chance at making World Series history. think 🤔🤷‍♂️

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

Come at me Internet but women who can't even begin to think of stretching their leather pants to its bounds have no business wearing leather pants and that's just a fact sorry not sorreeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Life and How (Not) to Live It

As I was sitting outside of Starby's - sorry, that's "Starbucks", you fucking rubes - earlier this morning two what-looked-like 10th-grade girls were walking by with a bag of popcorn so large one of them was struggling to carry it while the other one was swinging a half-empty 2-liter bottle o Cherry Mountain Dew & without thinking it totally through 100% I joked "hey where's the party at girls?" so if you don't hear from me for a while I'm probably in jail. 😬

On xmastime

My whole life has been one long episode of "won't they or won't they?"

Solutions. I Have Them.

If What We Do in the Shadows is looking for the perfect person to play Guillermo's father then I am happy to be the one to tell them the search is over.

Jackie!

I've posted this before sometime when I first saw it but I can't resist doing it again now that it's popped up; it's just yet another of the thousands of moments that should confirm Laurie Metcalf's JackieHarrie as one of the greatest sitcom characters of all time, end of sentence.

BONUS: every time I've seen it I've sent it to my nephew Paddy Mac, the Alex P. Keaton of the Gen Zers! 🤗 🤣

Grrrrrr drr Jrrrrrrrr

The goddam New Yorker cartoon contest can be infuriating; you can't ell me you wouldn't be too embarrassed to submit one of the finalist entries for the contest on the left, and yet the winner on the right is fucking lights-out. Dafuck, The New Yorker?


Friday, November 01, 2024

Okay Last One I Promise 😭😭😭😭


Is the New Name "Lets See the Birth Certificate"?

 

"See what you made me have to do to you, baby?"


Oh Gee Let Me Guess the Next 48 Hours

1. Trump supporter takes a shot at Cheney
2. MAGA is OUTRAGED!! by any suggestion that Trump's words sparked this
3. CNN headline: "HOW WILL KAMALA DIAL DOWN THE RHETORIC?"


Rinse lather repeat.

Am I a Jinx?

Just days before the World Series started, I mentioned the quirkiness of the 1960 World Series and that we'll probably never seen anything like that again in a World Series.

Despite losing the series, the Yankees scored 55 runs, the most runs scored by any one team in World Series history, and more than twice as many as the Pirates, who scored 27. The Yankees won three blowouts (16–3, 10–0, and 12–0), while the Pirates won four close games (6–4, 3–2, 5–2, and 10–9) to win the series.

This isn't quite as weird as that one but I don't fucking hafta like it either. 😡😡😡😡

Thursday, October 31, 2024

Now This REALLY Feels Like Halloween

All title sequences from the PBS/WGBH show "Mystery!" Based upon the work of Edward Gorey, animated by Derek Lamb, Eugene Federenko and Janet Perlman. Music by Normand Roger.

It is Now 11:36pm on Halloween night

I will buy & eat this entire cake by MIDNIGHT if this post gets 666K comments!! Good luck!!!

UPDATE: did not make it to 666K

Kitchen Addition

Christmas gift a coupla years ago from my amazingly talented Goddaughter! 🤗🕺

A Note on Halloween

It takes a lot to gross me out & even I'm like wait, there was a time when every Halloween we'd all stick our faces into big pots of water trying to eat the same apple?

Lovely Jubbly!

This is Only Fools and Horses creator/writer John Sullivan sitting down for his first interview ever for the premiere of his first sitcom, Citizen Smith (also an Xmastime super-slice!!!). Besides the fascinating story of how he even got the chance to write a script and have it read at the BBC, I lit up like a Christmas tree (and I'M XMASTIME!!!!) when he said the ONLY comedy writer who's an influence on him is...Neil Simon!! As in, longtime Xmastime Hall of Fame member Neil Simon!!!

As Del Boy would say you know it makes sense, bruv! 🤗🤗🤗🤗

XMASTIME HALLOWEEN HALL OF FAME ENTRANT


Halloween Sucks w/o Kids 😭😭😭😭



More World Series

Oh yeah, and it turns out the Aaron Judge error last night was his first one of the entire season. Of course.

Friday the 14th

I try to watch the usual Halloween movie classics like everybody else, but more than anything else I make sure I watch one of my favorite Only Fools and Horses episodes, Friday the 14th. As I posted a few years ago from an article that seems to have been deleted from the Internet:

 ‘Friday the 14th’ is interesting because it works to highlight the inherent venality of the Trotter family. While Del, Rodney & even their crafty Grandad, are at heart good people (and Only Fools would not shine away from outright sentimentality at points), they are crooked, opportunistic, and will happily run away from a situation if they feel the long arm of the law bearing down on them. In this case, what appears to be the offer of a nice country cottage, rent-free, in Cornwall that the trio can escape to comes with a caveat – Del has made a deal with his old friend Boycie, who owns the cottage, to illegally salmon poach in order to make money from and exploit the local area. This makes the episode, to some extent, a cautionary tale. The Trotters are threatened by a dangerous external force for their hubris, for emerging from the moral vacuum of the crime-ridden, urban London landscape in order to remove natural resources from Mother Nature. Del placing a tub of writhing maggots on the dinner table as Rodney eats a curry with rice foreshadows this juxtaposition, suggesting horror before they even leave the homestead. 

WATCH THE WHOLE EPISODE ON BRITBOX, PEOPLE!!!

RIP 😢


Grrrrrrrrr drr Jrrrrr

I guess at least one of the airlines has just about had it with people trying to board earlier than their own boarding group, which doesn't really make sense since unlike Amtrak at least on the plane you already have an assigned seat so it really doesn't matter, and yes the reason I'm name-checking Amtrak here is because years have been shaved off my life by my screaming into the wind as the rather curiously long line of "business passengers" strolls past the suckers like me standing in the general boarding line (oh don't worry after about 5 years I finally broke down and now I just skip along too cuz fuck them if they're not gonna bother checking tickets (tho when they finally do I'm *guessing* I'll be the dumbass who gets in trouble, don't worry about that jack-o!).

As Uncle Arthur would say to Amtrak if he could, "take a lesson!"

Here's a small gallery of my feelings on the subject in the past:


I'll Say This.

Whoever the next president is, they need to open an investigation into how the hell two of the legit funniest network shows of the last 10 years were *mysteriously* cut off just as they were getting started. 😡😡😡😡

Abbott Elementary! 🤗

Great question! I happen to have a few thoughts of my own that could improve this show I already love!

1. More Tariq!
2. More of the Jacob vs. that other teacher war
3. Is Mr. Johnson only allowed one line a show now?? 😡
4. Why not an entire side mock doc but from the kids perspective?
5. More of the Melissa/her sister school wars
6. More Tariq!!
7. What the hell - how have Melissa & Jacob been roommates all season & yet they've barely even MENTIONED it much less used it for any comedy!!!!! 😡😡

And while we're at it, let's give Mr. Johnson props for his Halloween costume.  🤣🤣🤣🤣