Insta du Jour

"Which Seat are You Picking?"

You think Mr. Bean is the obvious choice because he doesn’t talk but then you realize after a little while it’ll just be creepy af, like having a living doll next to you, so the obvious choice of course is Del Boy; by the end of the trip you'll be hypnotized by his charisma & bullshit so much you won't even mind he's robbing you blind. 🤣🤣🇬🇧❤️

 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady lyric:

"And she said man when the Pet Sounds box set came out in '96
I drank it like water from a hose,
And then she threw her Big Gulp up all over my brand new Keds"

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

Brilliant du Jour

I don't agree with the premise - as you people know, Linus Van Pelt is one of history's greatest monsters - but the performance is unassailable. 🤣

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We Love You Joey Ramone

I can’t believe it’s been 25 years since he died; it's the most hard-hitting celebrity death of my lifetime and it's confirmed every year when I realize not only do I love The Ramones' music even more than ever, but it's still Joey who pops into my head whenever I start getting down on myself, that I'm a loser and everybody hates me and all the rest, and it picks me right back up again.

As I update every year:

If he can go from being told he’d always be a total nothing to someone whose life 25 years after his death is rolling down the hill picking up more & more meaning like snow on a snowball, then maybe the rest of us can too, no matter how we start out. Roll on, everybody. 4.15.2001

 

Current Events

People are in an uproar about Trump "accidentally" posting a picture of himself as Jesus Christ, with MAGA “outraged!”, which is funny since 1. it’s gonna cost him exactly 0 votes 2. if you asked his base to choose between him & Jesus then I have some bad news for fans of Jesus.

Here's a few things I've said since Trump was coming back into office (search them here yourself ffs I can't do anything ffs) that should show you exactly how surprised I am by all of this:

I'm putting the odds of Trump at some point before the 2024 election declaring that people should vote for him because he's the second coming of Christ (if he could in fact stomach making himself the #2 in this scenario) and losing 0 votes because of it at approximately 100%.

It's only a matter of time before MAGA declares Trump to be the second coming of Jesus Christ; if he wins there will be an immediate pivot to declare that Jesus was born in America, and within 10 years this will be considered standard doctrine.

Just now I notice for the first time that Trump's father's middle name is "Christ"? So now Trump gets to actually be "humble" when he starts saying "now now, I would never say I'm the son of God....but I am the son of Christ."

If you're doubting whether or not Trump's idiot followers believe he's the second coming of Christ, note how it literally never matters what he says, they will always twist & interpret it however they wish it to be just like they do with the one book they allow themselves to pretend to read.

It's no wonder Christian nationalists love Trump so much - just like their God he's petty, needy, vengeful & always offering a promise juuuuuuuuuuuuuust over the horizon should they stay loyal to him that they can never quite attain.

Of course the people who most consider themselves to be Christians are also the ones who treat Trump like they do their god: he speaks in gibberish meant to be interpreted to mean whatever they want, and then they give him all their money. 🤔🤷‍♂️

World's First Talking Dog Sure Seems to Be in a Big @#$%ing Rush to Let Us Know That All Dogs Hate “Brown-Eyed Girl”

XMAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM: Season 6 Out Today!!

LISTEN HERE or wherever the hell you listen to podcasts. 🤗🕺

Welcome to Today's Episode of...

...bad pause timing that makes you regret walking back into the room. 😬

 

Another Country Western Song Title in Search of a Song

Shittin' & Porn are the Two Things in Life I'm Totally Okay with Being Alone For

SEE PREVIOUS SONGS HERE

XMAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM Season 6 Out Tomorrow!!!

And yes, it all sounds as amazing as this clip does. 😜🤣🤣🤣 

Roll On, Serge!

Interview with longtime Xmastime buddy Serge Bielanko from Marah; pretty nice semi-career-spanning run through - some great Float Away stuff! 🤗 - tho I wish he'd kept going at least through 2005's If You Didn't Laugh You'd Cry but oh well; also nice to see him blow up my old hood Oxford, MS. 🤗🕺🎸❤️

Available Tuesday 4/14 #xmasyourenthusiasm

Dog Day Del

I must be dreaming because apparently they've invented my dream job, slobbering around with dogs:

New York-based pet health and nutrition company Spot & Tango is looking for two contractors to sniff dog breath and accept dog kisses for a price. The subscription brand posted job listings on its careers website for a dog breath sniffer and a dog kisser this week, and the qualifications are plenty.

The company’s ideal breath sniffer is someone who “can detect even the faintest hint of funk,” according to the job description. A strong sense of smell and a love for dogs are must-haves.

And yes I do have the perfect candidate, which I will now prove in two parts: the one and only Del Boy Trotter!

First of all, he often jokes about his dating history with (cough) "dogs" back in the day:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it turns out he has a great sniffer as well! 🤗 What the hell, if I must lose out on this dream job to someone else, I'm glad it's Del Boy. 🤗🤣🤣🤣🤣

@classicuk.tv Del Boy & Mickey Pearce - What's that smell? #onlyfoolsandhorses #ukcomedy #uksictom #UKTV ♬ original sound - ClassicUK.TV

Xmastime Films

STRANDED

Current Events

Even as someone who couldn’t think any less of Trump even if I tried, if I was trying to write a script of how I'd expect him to handle a war with Iran that would show how much of an absolutely incompetent buffoon he is I'd write it out exactly as he's played it so far, except I'd immediately throw it away because it would seem too unbelievably incompetent even for him, and yet here we are.

Know Thyself

I wonder if the reason dogs like me is that to them I look as confused around people as they feel. 

State du Moi

I was a Manny for three years and I never once felt more responsible for another human being like I just did a minute ago when I found myself with nobody else in sight watching what looked like a 200 year-old man crossing the street.

THE NEW YORKER Brilliant du Jour

The "sir" is what puts it over the top. 🤣

 

I Love You Reese's but I Am Officailly Calling Bullshit on You

How can these motherfuckers be almost twice as much per pound just because they're in a bag????!!?!? 😲😲😡😡😡😡