Thursday, October 15, 2026

Ugh du Jour, with (not free) Queso

I’m sure I dove into this “Trump’s tariffs are killing free chips & salsa at Mexican restaurants” article assuming I’d knock out some super-smarmy joke about the administration’s needlessly cruel immigration policy & the stupidity of the very people most vociferously cheering it on against their own financial interests and in a lot of cases their very livelihood in such a heroically hilarious manner that would result in a lot of “Xmastime once again shows why he is the voice of his generation , and EVERY generation!” headlines both here & around the planet, and it was going fairly according to plan as I breezily skimmed through it, cackling to myself with glee about what I’d be cooking up (yes, Juego de palabras intencionado) with shit like this:
Part of the appeal of the neighborhood Americanized Mexican restaurant has long been that it offers a particularly accessible kind of abundance. You can order an inexpensive combination plate and a soda, eat something hot and filling and deeply flavorful, and be out the door in 45 minutes without anybody making you feel strange about any of it.
But then, just as I was about to stop cackling & start typing, I landed on this:

Everybody gets to start with something.

That hits the gut like a ton of bricks. It’s a way of life we should all be adopting as human beings, that there’s a seat for everyone at the table and nobody eats unless we all eat. Instead, we’re now at risk of losing (let’s be honest, once these things go from being free to being non-free they never go back to being free, and we know this) this living credo of love & community at the table because we’ve chosen our absolute worst human being to be the leader of the free world, and his policies that have directly lead to this possible ending of free chips & salsa at that Mexican restaurant you love are the same ones being used to disrupt & destroy as many of the lives who have brought free chips & salsa to our tables in the first place. Pitiful.

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

I never really thought about it but I probably assumed speed-dating is no longer a thing thanks to the extreme prevalence of online dating, but apparently it IS still a thing.

Meanwhile, something I’ve learned just from being an adult alive in the year 2026 Anno Domino’s Pizza as well as seeing at least one article per day on the subject is that it’s getting harder & harder for adults – especially males – to make new friends, so I’m wondering if there’s a version of speed dating but for possible friends instead of romantic partners? I have no problem believing that within 60 seconds I can ascertain whether or not I have enough similar interests for a foundation & a natural chemistry with someone else, and for some reason I seem to find this scenario much more plausible than if I just tried to interact with other people in a similar way as I bump into them throughout the course of any given day.

October Book Club Off to a Strong Start



Tuesday, October 13, 2026

Mind Blown du Jour

How have I never heard of them? 🤯

Oh Wow, Speaking of Atlanta's The Westminster Schools...

...I see that Gone with the Wind (aggravating) author Margaret Mitchell and the Michael Jordan of Civil Rights writers Taylor Branch both went there as well (albeit 36 years apart). Fascinating.

Questions About THE OFFICE. I Have Them.

Both Andy and Kevin got dumber as the series went on - Nard Dog would show flashes of sense while Kevin's stupidity reached once-thought unimaginable lows - and what I'm fascinated to be remembered of is the fact that Ed Helms and Brian Baumgarner went to high school together at Atlanta's The Westminster Schools, so I guess my question is dafuck is going on at Atlanta's The Westminster Schools? 🤔 🤷‍♂️

Here's to David Koechner, Todd Packer Forever

It is a truth universally acknowledged that whilst Todd Packer was a horrible person, he batted a goddam thousand every time he showed up; somehow it's only now occurred to me that even as incredible as we all know David Koechner's performance to be, it's actually underrated - the takes we're seeing have to be like the 15th or 20th takes since you KNOW there's no chance anyone could keep a straight face through almost every one of his goddam lines. Incredible.

David Koechner is the World B. Free of sitcoms. 

Yes Dinner Party Douchebag du Jour

Yes Dinner Party Douchebag when you say Breyers vanilla is your favorite ice cream flavor we already fucking know you mean the one with vanilla bean, you don't hafta fucking say it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Another Van Lathan Classic

It was Friday the 13th on today's The Rewatchables & while I’ve never actually sat down & watched the movie I felt like I had enough of a grasp on the plot & my optimism was rewarded with an all-time Van Lathan Hall of Fame Moment, Five Movies He's Okay with Having No Black People In Them. 🤣🤣 

And yes I rather thoughtfully took the trouble of pulling out just the 3-minute clip from the entire episode myself, you're welcome very much people. 

PS - after listening to this, go back and listen to this other Van Lathan all-time classic!! 

Current Events

Whoever the guy checking Trump’s mic just before he went on in Alaska looking like a confused groundhog on Groundhog Day will be an instant comedy meme legend. 🤣🤣

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

The problem with reading Dickens isn't the old adage that he got paid by the word, it's that from what I can tell he got paid by the character.

Moi Say Moi back in 2025:

Who can keep up with all these characters when they're the size of the goddam cast of Ben Hur?

 

Recent Text I’m Patting Myself on the Back For

“The judge sentenced Jackie Watts to 5 years in prison and Jackie Watts said your honor I’m gonna need 10!”

Monday, October 12, 2026

Nope.



Questions. I Have Them.

Can you even call yourself a uncle or godfather if you haven't at least once screamed at some kids "yeah well guess what we're eating total crap tonight while your parents are out"? 🤔🤷‍♂️