Set in 1972, the guy who runs the Post Office has a stranglehold on the town of fewer than 150 people since he has control of all the information coming in & out, hilarity ensues.
LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!!!! 💰💰💰💰
Monday, March 23, 2026
Current Events: Israel
Suddenly I'm noticing it's okay to at least question Israel's bona fides, so I will just put this here for now & see if we need to come back to it later. 🧐
As I said a few years later in 2010, this is like having a teammate who's a complete douchebag that keeps dragging you into fights on the field while you shake your head at what an asshole the guy is. But hey, we're supposed to be so worried about Iran, not Israel, right?
As I said a few years later in 2010, this is like having a teammate who's a complete douchebag that keeps dragging you into fights on the field while you shake your head at what an asshole the guy is. But hey, we're supposed to be so worried about Iran, not Israel, right?
PBS is Just the Greatest
There’s a million reasons to be horrified of a Republican administration, but one of the more personal ones to me is the always-looming threat of them scrapping PBS; I’ll leave the obvious political discussion for another day, but right now is a great example of why PBS needs to be left alone – I just randomly popped in to see what was happening on their live WETA channel and what do you know, it’s a documentary breaking down the recording of Penny Lane. Not some “oh isn’t this song pretty???!” thing, but an actual breakdown of the tracking etc. Incredible.
THANK YOU PBS!!! PBS ❤️ FOREVER!!
Let's Hear it for the Cafeteria!
Like most people I suppose, pretty much all of my cafeteria memories are from my youth & I had no idea how small/quaint the industry itself has been, which today is on shaky ground but after watching this short video ladies and gentlemen I am here to tell you right now that the second I become a billionaire I'm opening the greatest cafeteria in the history of the goddam world.
CURRENT EVENTS: Let's Make a Deal
Someone needs to lightly tap Trump's head because he's become a record that won't stop skipping with the whole "we can't have men playing women's sports!" thing, so in the spirit of bipartisanship I will present the following:
If I promise to never tape my penis between my legs so I can play junior varsity girls volleyball can Trump promise to get rid of ICE in the streets?
Sunday, March 22, 2026
Oh Thanks Wegmans...
...for offering us adorable stuffed versions of the animals we’re gonna be buying 2 aisles over next week so we can stuff our faces at Easter dinner.
XMASTIME On the Debut of the UK Saturday Night Live
I've only seen two sketches & I really liked both of them (the one below - the first one I saw - had a delightful whiff of Monty Python to it? or maybe I was just looking for it?), and having Tina Fey kick the whole thing off was brilliant, like easing somebody into a tub of warm water, and of course I personally loved Graham Norton speed-checking her on classic British sitcoms, all of which she nailed even though I was bummed they didn't do my Only Fools and Horses but hey life is life, right?, 🤷♂️ so I will be checking in on it for at least a coupla weeks (and certainly as long as Saturday Night Live insists on continuing with their beyond-dreadful cold opens.)
Lovely jubbley bruv, you know it makes sense!
Podcast Episode Rec
Even as a lifetime Knicks-hater this podcast is a warm fuzzy blanket of coziness; of course 90% of this is because I love Ed Burns but I also can easily fall for nostalgia when it comes that era of the NBA and as I've mentioned before, why isn't Bernard King narrating documentaries for Ken Burns with that voice?!?!?!???? 🤗😜🤷♂️
Enjoy! And yes, you ARE welcome!!
The Arc of Exceptionalism May Bend or Whatever but It Does End
When you look at the current president and his cabinet of 5th-year senior fuckwads you realize that America's history as a country is the personification of the way family dynasties usually go:
Old Man Joe Kennedy: hustled his ass off to build the family fortune
JFK, RFK: brilliant progressives who used the family fortune to try & enact their vision of how to best push the country forward
Their kids: dear god.
Founding Fathers: brilliant statesmen, clearly the best of the bestI believe I speak for everybody when I suggest: 😬
Every Politician Between the Founding Fathers and 2016: indisputably qualified players with varying degrees of good & bad behavior but all under a presumptive agreement of norms
Trump: dear god.
Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius
Should-be Hold Steady lyric:
"And she said man my only regret in this lifePREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE
Is never seeing Al Green preach in Memphis,
And then she puked her purple Big Gulp all over new Keds"
Thoughts. I Have Them.
I think the reason I never liked grunge may be that there seemed to be a fork in the road taken by bands who loved the same bands I loved from Minneapolis who'd grown up on a steady diet of shitty metal/classic rock and country; the bands that forged their sensibilities through the musical prism of those Minneapolis bands who leaned more into the shitty metal/classic rock side turned into grunge bands and the bands who leaned more into the country side turned into alt-country bands, which is the direction my own musical sensibilities leaned as well.
Saturday, March 21, 2026
XMASTIME: A Novel
CHAPTER ONE
As soon as Aaron saw the Amazon package, he knew what it was and tore the packaging apart with primal glee. He held up the blue flannel shirt he’d been desperately wanting for months that now, after saving every penny he made working at the town pharmacy on weekends while all the other kids in school were becoming keg party legends, was finally his. For a split second, if that, he wondered whether the particular shade of blue was such that the other kids at school would make fun of him by calling him “Cookie Monster”, but the thought vanished the moment he saw himself in the mirror.
“It’s all gonna change for me the second I walk through that classroom door tomorrow morning.”
“It’s all gonna change for me the second I walk through that classroom door tomorrow morning.”
******
The next morning Aaron paused outside the classroom door, gathering himself to savor the moment.
“Star time,” he whispered to himself before bursting triumphantly through the door.
“Oh hey what’s up Cookie Monster?”
“Star time,” he whispered to himself before bursting triumphantly through the door.
“Oh hey what’s up Cookie Monster?”
THE END
TRIGGER WARNING: This is Some Racist Shit Here, Guys
I don't know for a fact there are no white women living in my building, but I do know this:
1) for about 6 months now I've been watching a guy who is obviously homeless take advantage of thenonexistentlax security in my building; every time I leave my apartment I see him, and he's seen enough of me to know I'm on to his shit & scuffles away accordingly
2) one of the three elevators has been out of service for about 2 years nowThere is NO WAY IN HELL any white woman living in a building with these rents would put up this shit, therefore I rather humbly submit my thesis that there are no white women living in my building.
Xmastime Movie Review
I've always thought I loved The Commitments & while the beginning is really great, after a while it just becomes a slog...I mean, right way the band is pretty great to begin with so what was the struggle, exactly? What are we rooting to happen...?
It is a fascinating archive of that weird gross/grey early 90s Dublin (the movie is wall-to-wall "is this person gonna electrocute themselves in a puddle of water with this shitty electrical equipment?"), and the cast itself was fantastic, many of whom went on to better things (not including this waste of a time sitcom I sat all the way through just because of how insanely hot the woman who played Imelda Quirke in The Commitments was.)
Questions. I Have Them.
With it's endless supply of ridiculous & transient customers mixed with a bedrock of disparate & trapped store employees, how's it possible there's never been a successful sitcom based in a mall? 🤔🤷♂️
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