Unfortunate Thumbnail Choice, PlutoTV

RANDOM OLD XMASTIME COMMENTS I NEVER SAW

From November 2006.

 

Xmastime Thoughts, by Xmastime

Imagine being born a motherfucking shark & then finding out you've got one of these lame-ass names; must be like making the Greyhound Bus Terrorist team. 

 

Slice of Slices du Jour

Current Events

Let's take a moment to acknowledge the incredible job the thousands & thousands of election workers - mostly volunteers working for free - did to pull off another flawless election, this time more than ever in the face of the federal government trying to do anything in its power to make their jobs as difficult as possible. Amazing. 🍻

Final Line of the Ineveitable Ken Burns Documentary on Donald Trump

"You could not say he wasn't Shakespearean; unfortunately for all of us the only person on Earth who would not understand that reference was the man himself."

WE MISS YOU Mike & the Mad Dog!!! 😭❤️🕺

This is just absolute perfect, perfect who-gives-a-shit random Wednesday afternoon inane talk during which they either don't remember they're on the radio of they don’t really care; it's like a warm, warm hug from a warm, warm blanket. AND they manage to squeeze in like 20 different side characters of the show in the 20 minutes!!! 🤗🤣❤️

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "weren’t they also the subject of the single greatest blog post in the history of blog posts almost 20 years ago?"

Sigh. Yes they were, faithful readers, YES they were:

2:57 first “in the mix”sighting, one of Doggie’s pet phrases. Though it almost gets lost in the wreckage of Dog using it with the word “strategy;” “there’s some stwategy in the mix!” fucking christ; is there a St. Bernard lapping at his face that I just don't see?

3:01 I get a kick outta the fact that at every break Dog has to say “Sports Radio 66.” And you know Mike makes him be the one to say it, just to be a dick. When I first started listening, I was amazed that someone with Doggie’s speech um, “patterns” could get a job on radio. I decided that this guy must be amazing, must REALLY know what he’s doing to get a gig on radio. It’s like going to the track and betting on the three-legged dog: why else would he be running?

3:08 Dog’s blowing his nose into some toilet paper. Not television’s proudest moment. Looks like a dachshund putting on a surgical mask......READ MORE...

 

Current Events

Of course I’m thrilled at our country’s incredible rebuke of Trump, but it’s also frustrating/heartbreaking to think of what a fucking waste an entire decade has been, harnessing stupidity & cruelty in the service of the most unserious pieces of shit we could possibly find to put into the most powerful positions of authority on the planet, then standing around acting like we were watching a movie.

Nation Rejects Fascism for the Few Months It Will Take it to Mindlessly Start Lunging for it Again Out of Boredom

Questions. I Have Them.

When did storebought popcorn in a bag become not only better than microwave popcorn but WAY better than microwave popcorn, when did that happen? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Halloween Photo Contest: My Building

THIS YEAR

 LAST YEAR 

Huge If True.

Mixed Messages, James. 🤔 #uberdriver

 

Xmastime Regrets!

I wish I'd been closer to this school bus before it pulled away so I coulda framed it with the Chase sign so it'd read as "here's a school bus dropping kids off at the bank" & I'd probably win some sort of goddam award for Most Brilliant Photographic Take on the Current Sociopolitical & Economic Climate in America & the Future of Doom It Portends but this was, unfortunately, the best I could do. 😞  

I'll Say This.

The upcoming private equity blizzard is gonna explode income disparity at a rate second only to whatever record is gonna be set by the upcoming unregulated AI blizzard.

An Xmastime Prayer Card

PREVIOUS PRAYER CARDS HERE

 

Xmastime Films

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Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here

Want du Jour

The Old Curiosity Shop, Portsmouth Street, London
George Hyde-Pownall

Insta Mukluks: paintingsoflondon 

 

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Someone showed me this & I immediately made an Elizabeth Gaskell joke & I got exactly 0 laughs & now I hate Halloween.

 

Ideas. I Have Them.

I couldn't pull it off myself because I've taken Amtrak a million times but if its your first time on the train and you wanna establish that you're to be treated as someone with a higher level of status, wait for a conductor to come walking through & loudly ask "excuse me, what time are we landing- I mean, arriving?" & then see how people look at you after that. 🫡