There's something about the melody of the verses that makes me yearn for a past before I was even alive that I cannot possibly know, yet ache for.
Wednesday, August 26, 2026
Sharks on Tour!
The other day I was telling this funny little story to Watty & Marley and just now I wondered hey, what would it look like if the scene was played by sharks? And then I asked my bff ChatGPT (hey ChatCPT! 👋👋👋👋) the same thing and so here you go! 😜🕺🤣🦈
Our National Security + Something About Tits
Article today in The New York Times - or, as I call it, "The Times" - points out the fact that here in America we tend to not do stuff until it’s pretty much too late:
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:
We have a dangerous habit of taking warning signs seriously only after a catastrophe has taught us what they meant. None of this requires believing catastrophe is inevitable or even likely. It requires accepting that if the worst outcomes are preventable, the moment to prevent them will necessarily come before the evidence is complete, before the costs of delay become obvious."But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn’t you point this out almost 20 years ago, also giving this phenomenon the delight name ‘TITS UP’?”We should not confuse uncertainty with safety. We should not wait for the warnings to become wreckage. And we should not need another commission report to tell us, after the fact, that the systems were blinking red.
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful reader
We never seem to do anything as a country these days until shit goes absolutely tits up. TITS UP - this seems to be our modus operandi now; if you want any change at all, you hafta wait for complete disaster. Until global warming completely destroys a part of the country we give a shit about, nothing will be done on that. So to keep the auto industry in the status quo is to set us back years again re: alternate fuels and energy et al. because unless they HAVE to change things, they won't. Why would they?
Don't bankroll them, make them go tits-up...and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I'm guessing they'll "all of a sudden" start coming up with ideas they should've been implementing a long time ago.
Chickens, Eggs & Us
Chickens are like “hey here’s a whole other food we’re giving you for free, and not only are we giving it to you for free but they’re generally considered to be one of the world’s most perfect nutrition delivery systems, enjoy!” and we’re all like oh wow that’s awesome thanks now we’re gonna eat you & everybody you’ve ever known, thanks so much.
Tuesday, August 25, 2026
The Internet's Insane.
Earlier today this clip of Dennis Johnson throwing a pass off the backboard to Larry Bird as if a planned play, which I'd never seen before in my life, popped up into my Instagram feed; hours later I happened to choose this video on YouTube about the 1981 Boston/Houston NBA Finals and a coupla minutes into the game BLAMMO!! Houston did the exact same thing!! My mind. is. blown. 😲🤯
Dolly & Ireland
Dolly Parton on why she always felt such a connection with Ireland:
“I think it is why the Irish have always loved me and I have always loved them. We speak the same language. They appreciate and know what it is like to live hard and to be brought up poor, and I think that they know when I am singing it, I mean it.
And I believe that they know that I feel that emotion that I have... I call it my Smokey Mountain DNA, but it is from those old songs brought over from Ireland and England.”
Via the video description: While on holiday in Kerry, singer Dolly Parton paid a visit to former Kerry footballer Páidí Ó Sé’s pub, where she performs her song ‘Coat of Many Colours’ accompanied by musicians Steve Cooney and Seamus Begley. Dolly signs off at the end of her performance, Thank you very much and welcome to Dinglewood. This episode of Cursaí was broadcast on 1 October 1990.
Ah, the 90s.
We're still under the throes of relentless nostalgia for the 1990s and I try not to fall for the "those were the days!" trap but if I'm being honest I'd probably hafta agree that the four coolest things I've ever done were in the 90's:
So 🤷♂️.
1. recorded a record
2. lived in Oxford, Mississippi for 2 years
3. moved to New York City
4. played CBGBs
2. lived in Oxford, Mississippi for 2 years
3. moved to New York City
4. played CBGBs
So 🤷♂️.
RIP Dolly 😢
I don't remember a time in my life not knowing who Dolly Parton was. One of the very few things we all seem to agree on as Americans is that we all love Dolly fucking Parton. What an incredible life. 
Monday, August 24, 2026
A Note on My Beloved IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
The last coupla seasons were kinda dreadful but it's still one of the funniest sitcoms of the century so far so I'll always give it an open-hearted try, but it is telling that apparently this new season dropped a week ago and I didn't even notice until right now.
The Troops in DC
President Dipshit still rolls out his note-for-note speech just about every other day about Washington DC ever since he sent in the National Guard a year ago, you know the one where everybody in DC was scared to leave their house & there were zero restaurants able to operate since criminals were just slashing everybody's throats until Trump heroically sent the troops in, but gee whaddya know it turns out the troops haven’t done shit and are mostly embarrassed at how they’ve been used by Trump:
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:
A year into President Donald Trump’s unprecedented deployment of the National Guard in Washington, D.C., some of the troops sent there say they are embarrassed by the mission and increasingly question why they are still there."But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "all of your brilliant 'oh gee but the Shake Shack by me has never been safer' wisecracks aside, didn't you make a video last year profusely thanking Trump for saving DC?"
Three current National Guard members told NPR, speaking anonymously because they remain in service, that the deployment has left them frustrated and concerned about the military’s reputation.
“I will say very frankly that the bad taste that this mission left in my mouth, it actually embarrasses me to be involved in any way,” one said.
Another said the experience had made him reluctant to even identify with the Guard. “I don’t want to think about the National Guard. I don’t want to necessarily discuss my affiliation with the National Guard. I don’t want to fulfill my normal National Guard duties just because of the abuses of the National Guard in this D.C. mission,” he said.
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful reader
Xmastime, Tell Us How Old You Are Without Telling Me How Old You Are
I am "when I was in college if two sorority sisters were drinking & a third walked in the room it was decreed by law they'd have to break out singing Candy Everybody Wants by the 10,000 Maniacs" years old.
Sunday, August 23, 2026
How's Your Day Going?
Me? OH, I'd say mine is going pretty, pretty, PRETTY good - movie critic legend Filmvetter, aka longtime & alltime Xmastime hero/legend Marley, has got some Xmastiome-loving ideas popping:
1-Sentence Xmastime Movie Reviewsand
"Xmastime also, on occasion, makes short films, so I’ll feature some of them here as well."We love and welcome Filmvetter/Marley aboard - stay tuned, excited people! 🤗🕺
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