...still the single greatest sketch about a guidance counselor. Thanks, The State!
Power Guidance Counselor - MTV's THE STATE from Jacob Voelzke on Vimeo.
Wednesday, April 14, 2021
Thank You, Internet
LITerally yesterday I wondered to myself ("wondered to myself"...as opposed to, "wondered to a little Spanish boy who's just about to get rejected by the new girl in class", I guess?) has anyone figured out the single biggest score you can get during a game of Scrabble and OMG GUYS THEY HAVE:
Oxyphenbutazone
Definition: An anti-inflammatory medication used to treat arthritis and bursitis.
Conditions: The theoretically highest-possible scoring word under American Scrabble play—as calculated by Dan Stock of Ohio—has never actually been played … and probably never will (unless you’re really, really lucky). That’s because it has to be played across three triple word score squares and built on eight already-played (and perfectly positioned) tiles.
Points: 1778
TBH you'd think my long history of gout would've hipped me to this. But the 2nd-highest score you can possibly get is only but my all-time record is only 419 with QUIZZIFY, so I'm not exactly sweatin' my 149. (humble curtsy)
Today's Mad Dog Bite!
What's great about this particular rant is anybody who's a big fan knows that Doggie saying "freakin'!" out loud would be be like the most grizzled vet deep in the shit during Vietnam saying whatever word would make another grizzled vet deep in the shit during Vietnam blush like a little schoolgirl.
The @MadDogUnleashed had a major meltdown when he saw the @BrooklynNets Injury Report for tonight against the @sixers pic.twitter.com/JO7dBj73iP
— Mad Dog Sports Radio (@MadDogRadio) April 14, 2021
Monday, April 12, 2021
Shameless, 2
One of the lines on the Shameless finale last night was the guy telling Lip, who's basically working for Uber Eats since we've all I guess forgotten he's a once-in-a-generation genius, the advice “the wetter you look, the bigger the tips".
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “isn't that similar to a line from your favorite Peter Leroy story?"
Yes, faithful readers, YES IT IS!
Goodbye, Shameless
WARNING: spoilers ahead!
Last night was the series finale of Shameless, a show I watched loyally from the beginning and over the years came to wonder why I watched it as it veered all over the place and was eye-roll inducing so many times. In the end, I think if you like a cast a lot you'll end up sticking with them for a decade no matter how immediately disposable and forgettable entire seasons may be. And a feeling of comfort and familiarity goes a long way with these things.
The finale was perfectly fine. Tied up a few things Frank dies happy, which seems right. I don't know why Emma Rossum couldn't be bothered to make an appearance. Probably Covid? I'll miss Kevin, whose very appearance was always a delight, and Mickey, who somehow made scowling "fuck you!" seem fresh even on the 19,000th time.
Some random Xmastime thoughts on the show over the years:
While there's still a lot of eye-rolling "you gotta be shitting me" moments, in watching the first season of Shameless again I must say it was a funnier show than I thought at the time, so I'm looking forward to Sunday's season two premiere.
One funny thing is that, from what I can tell, this season takes place in the summer. I'll say this about Shameless so far - it's the coldest-looking show I can think of. Outside is always sheets of ice and snow piled up; even inside, someone's always putting on a sweater.
Oh yeah - and I wonder how many times per episode they'll have Emmy Rossum naked this time.I've said it before and I'll say it again, Kevin is one of my favorite characters on all of tv. Dude walks onscreen, I start beaming.
Shameless can sometimes be just too damn depressing. Can we give Kevin his own show?
Irish Sitcom Glory!
Two posts about Irish sitcoms in one day! But this time it's good - how Irish sitcoms are taking over tv:
Finding mirth in misery is one of the most fundamental qualities of being Irish. “Sure, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry,” my mother, a Dubliner with a wicked ability to see the funny side of life, is fond of saying. There has always been an obsession with darkness in the country’s folklore, and its modern literature also revels in it. Flann O’Brien’s 1941 satire, The Poor Mouth, set in an impoverished region of Ireland where it rains relentlessly, is regarded as one of the greatest Irish-language novels of the 20th century – at once hilarious and macabre. Comedians, too, have skilfully mined Ireland’s traumatic past over the years, from Seventies satirical storyteller Dave Allen, to stand-ups Ardal O’Hanlon, Tommy Tiernan and Dylan Moran.
That has translated to telly as well. But none more so than in recent years. Irish TV comedies may have been around for decades – the deliciously giddy and subversive Father Ted was a groundbreaking water-cooler hit when it arrived in the Nineties, followed by the surreal sitcom Black Books and the mockumentary Paths to Freedom in the 2000s. In the past five years, however, there’s been an explosion of them and they’re drawing in fans from around the world.
I've gotta do some digging int, right now the only Irish shows I've really seen are Father Ted, Derry Girls, Moone Boy and Hardy Bucks. (Black Books was written by Graham Linehan but is set in London and is thoroughly British.) I love the Irish R.M. but I wouldn't call it a sitcom.
Thanks, the Irish!
Dafuck Graham?!!?
I love Irish sitcom writer Graham Linehan, having written classics such as Father Ted, Black Books, the IT Crowd, Count Arthur Strong and more. And last year I stopped following hm on Twitter because "As an Irish comedy writing legend I wanted him to talk about Irish comedy things, but he wasn’t, so I just stopped following him. Not because I agreed or disagreed with what he was saying, I really didn’t understand what he was going on about. I still don’t, it’s a subject I’m not really interested in other than I just want everybody to be happy." A few weeks ago I decided to try following him again and saw this Tweet:
I've known he was married to the sister of a famous British actor, but this Tweet made me curious and a quick Google search revealed that that they've recently separated, and it's BECAUSE of his frenzied anti-trans rhetoric - and it may ruin him financially!!!
I mean there's sticking to your guns and then there's lunacy.
Sunday, April 11, 2021
At This Point I am Refusing to Stop
NOTE FROM EARLIER: There's a "Post pics from 4 favorite tv episodes" thing going around on Twitter and while I know my answers will change 100 times today, here's my four. You're welcome!
Saturday, April 10, 2021
Never Not Stop Stopping
NOTE FROM EARLIER: There's a "Post pics from 4 favorite tv episodes" thing going around on Twitter and while I know my answers will change 100 times today, here's my four. You're welcome!
TV Episodez
There's a "Post pics from 4 favorite tv episodes" thing going around on Twitter and while I know my answers will change 100 times today, here's my four. You're welcome!
OKAY here's another four!
Friday, April 09, 2021
1996 Radio Star
Last year, in a post about That Thing You Do!
Someone who doesn’t know the thrill (and perhaps rebellion) of hearing their favorite song come on the radio could not have created the movie’s most ecstatic scene: the first time “That Thing You Do!” plays on the local radio station.
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't this very thing happen to you?"
Tonight I came home, flipped on tv and
under my YouTube "you should watch" thing there was a Beatles doc, one
I've probably seen 1000x. The cover for A Hard Day's Night
featured prominently in the title sequence and suddenly I thought of a
cd version of an ep I put out in 1996. I only made a few, to give to
radio stations such as the college station at Ole Miss. Honestly, I'd
forgotten about it for years/decades. Watching the Beatles doc I
laughed, thinking "that was a pretty funny cover." And then an hour
later, a Facebook message from Ted Gainey, an Ole Miss music legend who
was a DJ at the station at the time sent me this fucking picture.
How freaky is that time? Wtf. He was also the first (and most like only) person who ever played one of my songs on the radio; suddenly one day I turned on the radio and he was playing Washington Bullets from the record. Of course I freaked the fuck out like anyone else who's ever experienced such a thing. I super-smoothly called the station and he answered, and I coolly asked say, who is this great-sounding band? He said it was a local guy, "I think he works at the Sir Speedy."
What a great freaky surprise to my day, and a great memory :)
Hurrah, Marah!
Great article with longtime Xmastime buddy Serge HERE.
"I can't miss something I'm so happy happened"
Enjoy, people!
RIP Prince Phillip
Ugh. Friday.
If you're not depressed already about the state of America today then realize that Amazon workers definitively voted against giving themselves a union for fear of losing jobs that from what we've all seen reported to be harrowingly shitty, shitty jobs.
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