Monday, March 09, 2026
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Billionaires and religion are the exact same; perfectly fine in & of themselves, but since we insist on inserting each into our national politics they'll very soon be the undoing of America as a democracy.
Questions. I Have Them.
In The Last Dance it's revealed that Michael Jordan's greatest vice was his competitiveness; is this the single greatest real-life example of the job interview "I'd say my greatest weakness is I'm a workaholic" trope? 🤔🤷♂️
Sunday, March 08, 2026
Saturday, March 07, 2026
Friday, March 06, 2026
I'll Say This.
The only good small talk is elevator small talk because if I can get off a really good joke right away then I can rather furtively hit a button to get off immediately; or course after that I hafta hope nobody else is around to see me stand in front of the elevator I just off like a fucking idiot but the good lord only really gives us all the burden we can handle at once, right?
Questions. I Have Them.
I understand it's a different "Popeye" but how does a fast-food chicken place which rather feverishly highlights its Southern "soul food" roots any chance it gets be called Popeyes & not serve spinach? 🤔🤷♂️
RIP Lou Holtz
The amount of information in books I've read that has flowed in & out of my pretty little head without sticking even for a moment is probably stupefying, but something I've always remembered from a Lou Holtz book I read my freshman year of college (which was in 1990; I’m sure they started printing copies of the book as the clock was ticking down in the West Virginia game) is that while someone’s foot speed may too slow to play tight end, it can be faster than most offensive lineman, therein turning a seeming liability into an asset with a quick position switch. This has popped into my head over the years as a professional creative with a surprisingly high level of effectiveness. His 1988 national title is my favorite college football team of all time - and that's probably not changing anytime soon since I watch about 4 minutes of college football every decade now - and while that team, had a million star players (including my favorite, Michael Stonebreaker) there was no question who was the biggest star, and why that star was the one & only Lou Holtz.
Thursday, March 05, 2026
Questions. I Have Them.
I haven’t really followed/cared about whatever happened at the BAFTAs with the guy who had Tourette’s but how can it possibly be that Saturday Night Live's never done a sketch with a quarterback who has Tourette’s? 🤔🤷♂
RARE XMASTIME BONUS - let's go all the way back to 2007 when I called bullshit on Tourette's!!! 😲😲😲😲Questions. I Have Them.
Who was the last theater critic who gave John Wilkes Booth a bad review? 🤔🤷♂️
I Mean...
...it’s not as if anything in American history has ever gone wrong because of a guy with two first names. 🤷♂️
Questions. I Have Them.
Why does Batman live in a cave? How much easier can he possibly make it for his enemies to find him; “okay guys listen up we’re looking for the only bat cave on the planet not built by bats that’s big enough to house an eccentric billionaire and is close enough to be in downtown Gotham City within minutes by car OH look there it is, thanks.” Wouldn’t living in LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT AN ELABORATE BAT CAVE be smarter? 🤔🤷♂️
Wednesday, March 04, 2026
An Open Letter to the Bakery Section at Wegmans Downstairs
Dear Bakery Section at Wegmans Downstairs,
If you don't put some goddam walnuts on these cookies and call them Beez Nuts then I am going to lose. my. god. dam. mind.
I remain,
Xmastime
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