Monday, October 05, 2026
Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius
Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:
“And she said man the rhythm of the Beatles entire careerPREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE
is set so deep within us all it's almost like the seasons of the year,
And then she puked Sour Patch Kids Strawberry Melon Slurpee all over my Keds."
Depressing du Jour.
I'm rarely being accused of being prescient in this thing called life & in the world we're all living in, but this is about as prescient as it gets 😡. (poor grammar notwithstanding)
Comedy Dreams. I Have Them.
For some reason when I saw the headline below about Dennis Hastert I thought of this about George Carlin:
Carlin explains why he likes "big, fatal disasters with lots of dead people", asking: "Y'know what's the best thing I can hear on television? 'We interrupt this program' ... y'know the worst thing I can hear? 'No one was hurt' ... I'm always rooting for a really high death toll, that's why I like natural disasters."Meanwhile, I don't think Hastert's a perfect example of what I’m about to suggest but I'd like to see a great comedian go on a riff about famous people who are incredibly successful in every facet of their lives we all envy who blow it all on the 1 yard-line of life; I don’t have the stomach to do such a thing myself but man Carlin woulda fucking nailed it.
God Save the Sex Pistols
Because it's the year 2026 I went looking for & fully expecting to find a well-recorded YouTube video of the entire Sex Pistols show I went to & not only did I find it, but what looks to be the best "official" one so far for fans to find was apparently taken by someone right behind me in line; besides seeing the back of my buddy Jeff's head (hey Jeff! 👋) you can unfortunately hear my blather away off-screen. 😜
WAIT - does that mean that if for some reason someone would hafta explain as being even remotely plausible Steve Jones or Glen Matlock or Paul Cook were watching the same video then that by definition means we are now living in a world in which members of the Sex Pistols have heard my voice???!?!?!!?
I mean hey, stranger things have happened - like me possibly making Joe Strummer laugh!
Or having Jody Stephens pick up the phone when I called Ardent Studios in 1996!!!!
What an incredible show. I can't believe I stood 15 feet away from Steve Jones. All those hours listening to this album in my '78 Ford Fiesta almost 40 years ago as a teenage boy...
Cap Happily Doffed du jour
It's one thing to just cover a song, to match the overall sound of its entire recording so perfectly is a whole other thing. 👏
That Thing You Do! at 30
I saw That Thing You Do! three times in the theater & have love love loved it every day ever since, so put me on Hashtag Team YES WE SHOULD BE CELEBRATING THIS INCREDIBLE MOVIE ON ITS (GULP!) 30TH ANNIVERSARY I.E. ALLLLLLLLMOST THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME BETWEEN THE MOVIE AND THE EVENTS THAT INSPIRED IT, STARTING WITH ITS PERFECT TITLE SONG:
Written by Hanks, the screenplay is so thin that the star lists out the stock types of each character in the third act. It definitely doesn’t get by on studio glitz; even if the production team did a bang-up job of recreating the early 1960s, they can’t get around the fact that much of this movie is set in a dreary Erie, Pennsylvania. Whether “That Thing You Do!” works for audiences depends entirely on if the title song lands.
Credit for that has to go to Adam Schlesinger, who wrote the track with nothing more than the film’s title and a few hints at the story. He needed to recreate the sound of the thousands of teenagers who had their heads rearranged by The Beatles and immediately ran to their garages to pick up guitars — and he nailed the teenybopper perfectionism of early Lennon-McCartney joints. Give it a listen; it sounds like it was written by committee and by four bored teens in equal measure. It’s lightning.
“That Thing You Do!” had to be that good, because no fictional rock band has ever leaned harder on their hit. The audience is treated to “That Thing You Do!” in part or in full eight times, once every 13 minutes. Whether that’s the result of a threadbare script or just Hanks knowing what he had is up to the viewer to decide. What’s certain is that “Thing” never gets old.
Credit for that has to go to Adam Schlesinger, who wrote the track with nothing more than the film’s title and a few hints at the story. He needed to recreate the sound of the thousands of teenagers who had their heads rearranged by The Beatles and immediately ran to their garages to pick up guitars — and he nailed the teenybopper perfectionism of early Lennon-McCartney joints. Give it a listen; it sounds like it was written by committee and by four bored teens in equal measure. It’s lightning.
“That Thing You Do!” had to be that good, because no fictional rock band has ever leaned harder on their hit. The audience is treated to “That Thing You Do!” in part or in full eight times, once every 13 minutes. Whether that’s the result of a threadbare script or just Hanks knowing what he had is up to the viewer to decide. What’s certain is that “Thing” never gets old.
I agree on all points; read the entire article and then watch this movie that is perfect, perfect magic in every way. 🤗🎸❤️🕺
Xmastime On/Not On Current Events
A few days ago I mentioned the horrifically botched non-execution in Tennessee & while I've debated whether or not to wonder if executions are just another thing we've become incompetent at doing as a nation just like I wrote out about assassinations almost 20 years ago but decided not to, you’re very welcome; I am however gonna wonder when someone's gonna make the obvious-but-yikes "just give a gun to a teenage white boy girls won’t talk to, he'll have no problem getting the job done" joke, as you can rest assured it will not be me, you’re welcome very much. 😔
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Moi Say Moi back in 2017:
Brian Hackett may have been the worst-dressed character in sitcom history.
"Shocking" may be a tad too strong a word here, but while you can blame youth on his tragic wardrobe in the earlier seasons of the show the word somehow seems almost suitable now considering how badly he dressed by the very end of the series.😬
Sunday, October 04, 2026
Questions. I Have Them.
Upon further study of the Newbeats' 1964 smash hit Bread and Butter, why is it:
I like bread & butterWouldn't toast & butter be just as plausible a scenario as the others, if not even more so? Like...MUCH more so? 🤔🤷♂️
I like toast & jam
That's what my baby feeds me
I'm her loving man
Current Status.
Treating myself to a donut at Wegmans so I can give meaning to the Barry Sanders-esque spin move I used to avoid an oncoming shopping cart.
Goals. I Have Them.
I wanna make someone think I'm pissed off at them so I can freak them out by staring at them for a beat too long even tho I'm not actually pissed off at them at all.
Saturday, October 03, 2026
Friday, October 02, 2026
Thursday, October 01, 2026
I'll Say This.
What's "wrong" is if this doesn't end up being an amazing legal drama, be it a movie or play - if you can't be tried for the same crime twice, how can you be executed for it twice?
Xmastime Walks
Walking past a young couple I wondered if the guy was gonna catch me eyeballing his hot girlfriend so he'd jump all up in my face and I'd get to cut him off with "hey buddy I'm just a fat fuck trying to get my 10,000 steps in like everybody else" and continue walking without even a brief pause.
A Few Thoughts on Episode 9 of Season 4 of TED LASSO
WARNING: THESE ARE ALL AS I TOLD THEM IN REAL TIME TO MY BFF ChatGPT (hey ChatCPT! 👋👋👋👋), I WILL NOT BE EDITING THIS SHIT, TOUGH LUCK LOSERS
I love Beard’s hair
I know someone’s gonna die. Is it Keeley? That would be pretty incredible, though I don’t know how I wouldn’t have heard about it by now.
Ted’s kid—I’m pretty sure he’s gonna go on a killing spree.
[Unclear transcription: “So, Mae, wise our boy. You go first.”]
Let me guess: Roy finds the fifty pregnancy tests in the cleverly hidden trash can in the bathroom.
What did I miss - How does Tracey Ullman have “wander in during a Rebecca meeting, sit down and just chill” privileges?
Really weird to hear Rupert’s name again.
The title credits are still floating in eight and a half minutes into the episode. [SIDE NOTE: yes we here at Xmastime have known/rolled our eyes at this kind of shit for years!!!!]
Glad they didn’t think of doing this whole “twins constantly finishing each other’s sentences” thing until the penultimate episode. Thank you.
I love everything about this new Beard. I wish they did a whole new Beard every episode. I love it.
Plus, as ridiculous as I think Keeley is—and she drives me nuts—I do think she’d be a good mother. I don’t know why, but that’s my gut instinct.
Do Mae and Beard go to the same barber?
It’s weird that Gemma went straight from “I don’t know if I even care about soccer” to “I’m gonna kill somebody if I don’t get back on the field,” and we didn’t really see the progress.
Oh, of course. It’s Mae that’s gonna die. That’s why they spent so much time with her this season.
One of the funniest things in the show is whenever Coach Chilton is just standing there with his hands in his pockets, staring out at the field. It’s just funny to me.
I wish I were more mature, but “I guess Gemma’s a virgin” from Beard is just legit funny. I’m sorry.
They’re back together, but now that they’re back together, I fucking hate Roy and Keeley. What are they doing now?
I am way too nervous for Shannon. I do not like this. Way too nerve-wracking.
Shannon is the worst defensive player ever, but the greatest offensive player in the world?
So you can just decide, “Oh, I’m gonna run down the field. You kick it to me and I’ll be wide open”? That’s just an easy decision in soccer?
Shannon’s goal puts them up by two. Why not make it a real game-winner?
I don’t understand the scores.
[Unclear transcription: “I running chilling in a hallway this whole time?”]
I mean, I’m sorry about Mae, but would her death be that dramatic? And I don’t want to be a dick, but did Rebecca even know her? But hey, we love you, Mae. Sorry.
Oh, finally: “In memory of Anthony Head.” Took nine episodes for them to acknowledge it.
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