Every Time I Walk Into an Arbys:

"Wow look at the rotisserie chicken, looks fantastic. And those veggies too, this is gonna be great - FRESH green beans and corn!" "What can I get you, sir?" "Double roast beef & cheddar and large curly fries please." Sigh.

FINALLY

Some good news for Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen!

Netflix announced today that it will film Springsteen on Broadway for a special to air on the site on December 15, the day Springsteen’s show will also close at the Walter Kerr Theatre on Broadway. Thom Zimny, who won an Emmy for HBO’s 2001 Springsteen concert film, will direct the Netflix film. Springsteen won an honorary Tony for his show, which if we’re counting noncompetitive awards, means he’s only an E away from an EGOT. Not that anyone should dare reduce great art to such simplistic terms, but this does seem like a pretty good chance to win one.

Oh Oh.

We often joke that my goddaughter is crazy (mostly because she is), but I've never really entertained the idea she might ACTUALLY be crazy until just now when I learned she doesn't like pizza. Wtf.

State du Moi

Just came THIS close to getting a chance to witness an 8 year-old attempt to eat a bowl of tomato soup in a moving vehicle.

State du Moi.

If I lose this game I swear to god I am flipping this goddam table over. 

West Wing du Jour

This is an unfortunate cutoff point that does not make Josh look good.

Oh For Fuck’s Sake

Can we get a photo that doesn’t make it look like a foreign kid is pissing on a wall? Thanks!

Happy Belated Bastille Day!

“I SHOULDA LISTENED TO YOU ABOUT TARIFFS, THEY’RE REALLY BLOWING UP IN MY FACE...CRAP...LAWN LOOKS GREAT, BTW...”

Things My Mother Said to Me When I Was a Kid, Vol. XXIV:

 "If you're gonna sit there and pout, at least be useful and shuck this corn. You can cry into the bag if you want." 

Hahahaha!

Good luck selling anything without letting people inside, IDIOTS!!!

Sorry, Haters...

...but fine diners at the Giant don’t have freaking time to walk four more feet to the right, fuck you very much. 

Irony at the Wal-Mart.

Tappahannock...

...where dogs drive the RVs, thank you very much. 

I Am MOST Disappointed in You, Harrods.

Birfday Time!

Oh no, they’re looking to steal my ice cream cake...

HAHAHAHA ENJOY THE STUPID CAKE, LOSERS!! I WIN!!!

Calculating 4% of a $92 Bill Is Not Easy...

Beckham in Peckham! #WorldCup2018

Thoughts. I Have Them.

You know a greasy diner is great when they go ahead and recommend a funeral home for you.

Happy GrizzaDay!

GrizzaDay (n) - July 13, the day between Mamalizza and Xmastime's birfdays. Also: excuse to eat a whole ice cream cake guilt-free.  

2008 Grizzaday HERE.

2010 Grizzaday 2010 HERE.

This is How We Congratulate France On Their Victory Today

Trigger du Jour

Public Service Announcement

The Inbetweeners is on Netflix, guys.

Happy Birfday!

When I was a kid, Garfield was my favorite comic strip. To this day, I stand behind his first six treasury collections. And 40 years ago today, he debuted:

Some great Garfield moments over the years:

What the Fuck?

Garfield Eats His Heart Out

The Garfield Diet

Question.

Last Jeff Lamp Strip

Mother's Day
 
Countless "Today's Garfield"s

Moone Boy

Another World Cup moment via a great show!