XMASTIME RECOMENDS du Jour

THE PERFECT BACKGROUND TV WHILE YOU"RE WORKING: early 1980s NBA basketball on YouTube.

And yes everybody, you ARE very welcome! 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

"And she said man everybody freaked out The Ramones first record
Was only 29 minutes long but they forget Revolver wrapped it up in 35,
And then she puked Mountain Dew Baja Midnight Slurpee all over my Chucks."

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

I Will Now Blow Your Little Mind, You're Welcome Very Much

Paul McCartney’s brilliant Eleanor Rigby rather famously brings the two main characters together at the very end of its tragic story...meanwhile, early on during Seinfeld’s run Larry David started his famous plot device of bringing all the characters from the different plotlines together at the end of every episode, so I guess what I’m asking is was Larry David somehow influenced by Eleanor Rigby, meaning a goddam Beatle is partly responsible for the insane success of what's generally considered to be the greatest sitcom of all time? 🤔🤯

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Luke-Warm Takes with Xmastime!!! 🔥

The Dundies being a stone-cold classic episode of The Office means that even while the show remained incredibly consistently funny over its entire run, it's possible that two of its all-time Top 10 Classic episodes came within its first seven episodes (Diversity Day is the other one).

This has been a luke warm take with Xmastime. 

To Whomever Did This:

I will find you. 😡

 

"Xmastime, stop trying to make torn short hems happen! It's not going to happen!"

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

"And she said man I'm glad the last song The Ramones ever played live
Was a Dave Clark song but it should've been Glad All Over,
And then she puked Fanta Hibiscus Berry Slurpee all over my Chucks."

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

Happy Friday the 14th Everybody! 🤗🤣🇬🇧

I'll Say This.

Roy Kent mouthing along to the words of this dreadful love song reminds us that Ted Lasso has relentlessly battered away at this "tough guys weeping along to rom-coms" trope & the fact is that the number of times the joke hasn’t been fucking hilarious is zero. 

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

Today in WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Theatre

 

Dafuck du Jour

40 years ago today, August 10, 1986. Magic Johnson’s “A Midsummer Night’s Magic” brought Larry Bird and a legendary group of NBA stars together.

I remember 1986. I was a huge Celtics fan in 1986. I was in the midst of full-on Bird worship in 1986. And yet I don't remember a whiff of a scintilla of an iota of this game, how's that possible????? 😲🤯

Nailed It.

I've bitched for years now how the #1 thing Republicans love more than anything is playing the victim card and this writer over at Salon nails it perfectly why they were jizzing themselves last week during Dr. Fauci Pretend Theatre:

It was an era when the GOP got to do what they love more than anything: play the victim as loudly as possible before huge audiences that were especially vulnerable to disinformation.

Fucking pathetic. Her last line nails it too:

There’s no more compelling indictment of MAGA than this: The moment they felt most ascendent was when everyone else was in hell.

USA!

Here's someone at The New York Times - or, as I call it, "The Times" - putting together a list of 25 objects that reveal something special about Americans.

And here's the things from the list I'm signing off on:

$4.99 Costco Rotisserie Chicken (The Costco hot dog/soda deal should go in the canon along with public libraries and old diners as an American National Treasure. 😔 - Xmastime)
T-Shirt Cannon
Pizza Hut Lamp
Tree-Shaped Air Freshener
Sad Desk Salad
Red Solo Cup (If they're party cups, why are they named "Solo"? - Xmastime)

Edgar Allen Poe

Eric Monte

OUT NOW

Wherever you stream music.

Spotify HERE
Bandcamp HERE

Compiled from the deep archives of So What Records, SO WHAT RECORDS PRESENTS A SPECIAL COLLECTION, 1959–2026 gathers twelve remarkable recordings spanning nearly eight decades. Dug up from long-lost master tapes, short-run pressings and forgotten singles, these songs chart a lost history of rock & roll, from Earl Taylor's 1959 classic My Mona Lisa to The Hart Avenue's 2026 anthem What Are You Gonna Do When They Come to Kill You? and everything in between, collected & presented here for the first time. 

ENJOY! 🤗🕺🎸
 

Clockwork on Line 1.

Moi Say Moi back last month:

One of Trump's many, many infantile Achilles heels is that even after being handed all of the cookies at the table but one, no matter how underserving he is in the first place, he can’t let that one go & inevitably that’s what unspools everything in the end, drowned out by his endless bitching & screeching about how unfair everything is except that instead of him at some point being taught a lesson to just shut the fuck up and enjoy the cookies he was handed for no fucking reason, eventually someone gets tired of the whining & gives him the last cookie, therein setting off the same toddler Olympic game for the next time. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand right on schedule, what do we have here.

"This Is What the Internet Was Invented For" du Jour

Questions. I Have Them.

Have they ever tried a version of Raisin Bran with grapes instead of raisins? I mean if people are willing to eat raisins, wouldn't it make sense that they’d like what raisins wish they could still be? 🤔🤷‍♂️