World's First Talking Dog Sure Seems to Be in a Big @#$%ing Rush to Let Us Know That All Dogs Hate “Brown-Eyed Girl”

XMAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM: Season 6 Out Today!!

LISTEN HERE or wherever the hell you listen to podcasts. 🤗🕺

Welcome to Today's Episode of...

...bad pause timing that makes you regret walking back into the room. 😬

 

Another Country Western Song Title in Search of a Song

Shittin' & Porn are the Two Things in Life I'm Totally Okay with Being Alone For

SEE PREVIOUS SONGS HERE

XMAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM Season 6 Out Tomorrow!!!

And yes, it all sounds as amazing as this clip does. 😜🤣🤣🤣 

Roll On, Serge!

Interview with longtime Xmastime buddy Serge Bielanko from Marah; pretty nice semi-career-spanning run through - some great Float Away stuff! 🤗 - tho I wish he'd kept going at least through 2005's If You Didn't Laugh You'd Cry but oh well; also nice to see him blow up my old hood Oxford, MS. 🤗🕺🎸❤️

Available Tuesday 4/14 #xmasyourenthusiasm

Dog Day Del

I must be dreaming because apparently they've invented my dream job, slobbering around with dogs:

New York-based pet health and nutrition company Spot & Tango is looking for two contractors to sniff dog breath and accept dog kisses for a price. The subscription brand posted job listings on its careers website for a dog breath sniffer and a dog kisser this week, and the qualifications are plenty.

The company’s ideal breath sniffer is someone who “can detect even the faintest hint of funk,” according to the job description. A strong sense of smell and a love for dogs are must-haves.

And yes I do have the perfect candidate, which I will now prove in two parts: the one and only Del Boy Trotter!

First of all, he often jokes about his dating history with (cough) "dogs" back in the day:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it turns out he has a great sniffer as well! 🤗 What the hell, if I must lose out on this dream job to someone else, I'm glad it's Del Boy. 🤗🤣🤣🤣🤣

@classicuk.tv Del Boy & Mickey Pearce - What's that smell? #onlyfoolsandhorses #ukcomedy #uksictom #UKTV ♬ original sound - ClassicUK.TV

Xmastime Films

STRANDED

Current Events

Even as someone who couldn’t think any less of Trump even if I tried, if I was trying to write a script of how I'd expect him to handle a war with Iran that would show how much of an absolutely incompetent buffoon he is I'd write it out exactly as he's played it so far, except I'd immediately throw it away because it would seem too unbelievably incompetent even for him, and yet here we are.

Know Thyself

I wonder if the reason dogs like me is that to them I look as confused around people as they feel. 

State du Moi

I was a Manny for three years and I never once felt more responsible for another human being like I just did a minute ago when I found myself with nobody else in sight watching what looked like a 200 year-old man crossing the street.

THE NEW YORKER Brilliant du Jour

The "sir" is what puts it over the top. 🤣

 

I Love You Reese's but I Am Officailly Calling Bullshit on You

How can these motherfuckers be almost twice as much per pound just because they're in a bag????!!?!? 😲😲😡😡😡😡

 

Why Not? du Jour

If our brain really is the superduper computer we claim it to be, I feel like within my lifetime we should be be able to hook AI up to our brains & literally see everything we've ever seen through our own eyes as if watching a movie, every single second of our entire lives, as well as being able to instantly download every single thought we've ever had; to me this seems not only possible but inevitable.

Moi Say Moi

While a year ago I may have rather brilliantly written:

I like to be in the middle of hurriedly buttoning the top button of my shirt whenever I'm walking out my apartment door so if anybody sees me they'll think I was just finishing up with some rambunctious sex.

I have just very recently discovered that this particular skill does not necessarily transfer to walking off an elevator.

Okay but Where are They?

 

Moi Say Moi

I know in the grand scheme of things podcasts aren't that meaningful but one of the many things we lost when John Lennon was killed is can you even imagine (no pun intended)(unless you liked it) how incredible a Lennon/McCartney podcast would be?

"This season of The Bear is @#$%ing deader than you in 1966, Paul"

 

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

My newest favorite sport after 9pm is watching some poor bastard walk half the length of Wegmans past the long bank of registers & all the way to the ones by the hot bar that close at 9pm.

NEW XMASTIME SERIES: I Would Never Actually Say This, but...

...I would never say this but sometimes when I'm walking around I'm not actually listening to anything in my headphones because I'm currently finding my own thoughts/riffs/whatever to be much more entertaining than whatever I'm finding on my podcast or music choices.

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.” — Oscar Wilde