Garfield du Jour

The positioning/framing of his body in the final frame is just off the chart incredible, just absolutely perfect. 🤗👏👏👏

Speaking of Xmastime at the Comedy Club...

C..here's just some stone-cold classic, fantastic Gaffigan. 🤗🤣🤣🤣

Moi Say Moi

1. Republicans are fine exchanging fascism for security but not socialism for healthcare

2. The Simpsons are the Rolling Stones of television

3. Here's me last night with Watty & Marley at the DC Improv, the first time I've ever gone to a comedy club 🤗🤗 

 

Wow du Jour

I mean I love Ringo but there's a lot to unpack here 😜🤣

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE ALSO HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THERE'S STILL VIDEO FOOTAGE OF THIS FUCKING BAND I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE??????

Sitcom Ideas. I Have Them.

Xmastime, The World's Worst High School Guidance Counselor:

“Mr.________, what's the deadline for college applications?”
“Dafuck do you care?”

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS 💰💰💰💰

PREVIOUS XMASTIME, THE WORLD'S WORST HIGH SCHOOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR HERE

Snoopy, The Boss & Me

A coupla years ago CBS Sunday Morning did a segment on Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen's brilliant slab of desolation Nebraska (watch the segment here), during which re revealed that the notebook he used to write the songs in was a Snoopy notebook:

........aaaaaaaaand just a few minutes ago I was rummaging through some old college folders I'd found and well well well just LOOK at what I used in British Lit IV!!!! 🤗 😜🐶🎸🕺

SEINFELD Hot Take - with 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 Xmastime!!! 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

George was in the right here and should have gotten his bread.

State du Moi

I’m not saying I’m the victim here but as someone who is very comfortable being considered to be the laziest member of his own generation I am saying I’ve never felt lazier in my entire life.

 

Real Talk, with Xmastime

The greatest compliment we can give something we’re eating is that it tastes like butter & yet I've never seen anybody just sit down & start eating butter.

Is That Bonkers Reason That He is In Fact Silver Screen Legend Tom Hanks?

Parking Lot

I found this unsent letter in a pile of old college folders (more to come on that! lucky you!) ("old" college folders...as if I have new college folders?) and while I've redacted the names - you're welcome very much - and find it about as bemusing as you do when you find a dumb letter you wrote 31 years ago that wasn't even worthy of being sent, my big question is...was I somehow under the impression there was gonna be some sort of Clash reunion? How's that possible? Wouldn't I remember that? Was this a running joke me & [REDACTED] had going at the time? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Parking Lot

The fellas! Scooter & Rudy, at some hotel at William & Mary that (we thought) allowed dogs to stay in the room. 2023 or 2024. Great night, my favorite hotel room of all time!! 🤗🐶🐶❤️

Mukluks: Sistatime!

 

Sitcom Ideas. I Have Them.

Set in 1872, the guy who runs the Post Office has a stranglehold on the town of fewer than 150 people since he has control of all the information coming in & out, hilarity ensues.

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!!!! 💰💰💰💰

Current Events: Israel

Suddenly I'm noticing it's okay to at least question Israel's bona fides, so I will just put this here for now & see if we need to come back to it later. 🧐

As I said a few years later in 2010, this is like having a teammate who's a complete douchebag that keeps dragging you into fights on the field while you shake your head at what an asshole the guy is. But hey, we're supposed to be so worried about Iran, not Israel, right?

PBS is Just the Greatest

There’s a million reasons to be horrified of a Republican administration, but one of the more personal ones to me is the always-looming threat of them scrapping PBS; I’ll leave the obvious political discussion for another day, but right now is a great example of why PBS needs to be left alone – I just randomly popped in to see what was happening on their live WETA channel and what do you know, it’s a documentary breaking down the recording of Penny Lane. Not some “oh isn’t this song pretty???!” thing, but an actual breakdown of the tracking etc. Incredible.

THANK YOU PBS!!! PBS ❤️ FOREVER!!

Let's Hear it for the Cafeteria!

Like most people I suppose, pretty much all of my cafeteria memories are from my youth & I had no idea how small/quaint the industry itself has been, which today is on shaky ground but after watching this short video ladies and gentlemen I am here to tell you right now that the second I become a billionaire I'm opening the greatest cafeteria in the history of the goddam world.

CURRENT EVENTS: Let's Make a Deal

Someone needs to lightly tap Trump's head because he's become a record that won't stop skipping with the whole "we can't have men playing women's sports!" thing, so in the spirit of bipartisanship I will present the following:

If I promise to never tape my penis between my legs so I can play junior varsity girls volleyball can Trump promise to get rid of ICE in the streets?

Pornography in Nature du Jour

PORN PILLOWS
Reston, Va 2026

 

Oh Thanks Wegmans...

...for offering us adorable stuffed versions of the animals we’re gonna be buying 2 aisles over next week so we can stuff our faces at Easter dinner.

 

XMASTIME On the Debut of the UK Saturday Night Live

I've only seen two sketches & I really liked both of them (the one below - the first one I saw - had a delightful whiff of Monty Python to it? or maybe I was just looking for it?), and having Tina Fey kick the whole thing off was brilliant, like easing somebody into a tub of warm water, and of course I personally loved Graham Norton speed-checking her on classic British sitcoms, all of which she nailed even though I was bummed they didn't do my Only Fools and Horses but hey life is life, right?, 🤷‍♂️ so I will be checking in on it for at least a coupla weeks (and certainly as long as Saturday Night Live insists on continuing with their beyond-dreadful cold opens.)

Lovely jubbley bruv, you know it makes sense!