Friday, August 03, 2007

7-Letter Word for Idiot

Coupla days ago I sat down on the train and started working on my crossword puzzle. We're gliding along and then at a stop this ridiculously hot chick gets on and sits down right across from me. I tried not to ogle as I went back to my crossword. After a minute or so I realized oh shit, I hadn't filled in any letters, I wasn't writing anything. I panicked; instantly thinking shit, she KNOWS I'm just staring at the puzzle like a fucking idiot, she's thinking I'm a complete retard!! and this is the Daily News puzzle, it's not fucking rocket science. I desperately searched for a clue I would know the answer to. Nothing. And I know she's looking and I know that if only I could answer a bunch quickly, she'd realize I'm a genius, tear of her shiny purple blouse and I'd be all up in there. Then it dawns on me...she can't see WHAT I'm writing; she can only see THAT I'm writing!! So BAM!! I take my pen and just start writing, filling in squares with whatever letters or words I wanted; sometimes pausing briefly to act like I was thinking, then jotting it down. Brow furrowed. This is brilliant I chuckled to myself, wondering if she'll want our kids to go to private school. I could tell she was tres impressed as I kept "answering"; A C G G T T T E R and on.

Of course. She eventually got up, walked off the train without so much as looking at me. Prolly hadn't even known I was there in the first place, much less how I was doing at my fucking crossword. Ah well. Here's to quick thinking for chicks (clink!)

5 comments:

BayonneMike said...

Did you ever graduate from high school?

geener said...

Wow. 7 posts today, and I do remember hearing that the kid didn't sleep a wink. Hmmm, what was he doing?

Gina said...

it's really hard to do crosswords under that kind of pressure. Next time maybe bring the Soduku.

Angelissima said...

The way you admit to going ga-ga over complete strangers is a bold move.
I'd often fantasize about the lives of people on the train. Especially when you take the same train every day, see the same people.

At least you realized she was completely oblivious to your existence crossword or no.
Its a healthy sign, that.

Gina said...

Soduko sudoku sukodu sokudo

I thought it was kind of cute that you realized you weren't writing anything and tried to appear involved.