Five Places Xmastime Has Had Sex

1) Dairy Queen Bathroom: oh, she got an Xmastime Blizzard that day, my friends
2) Living Room, a Girl’s Dad’s House: had her looking out the window for her dad as I pumped away. No matter what context, no dude wants to hear about another guy coming while fucking.
3) Vestibule of Building Next to Turkey’s Next – the owner of the Nest squeezing by us; a dude so old-school he was apologizing as he was going by, “no no, don’t mind me, I’m leaving…” I'm not saying you should think of this the next time you're looking at your creamy, foamy containier of Bud, but...well, it'd be nice, actually.
4) Woodstock (scroll down to # 5)
5) Some Dorm Down by South Street Seaport – I gotta thing for windows I guess, had the girl palms-flat-on-the-window, 26 floors up overlooking the river. The next morning she mumbled “were we safe?” To which I said “well, you didn’t fall out the window, did you?” Second highlight: her taking me to the front desk to pick up my i.d. from “campus security.” I was 30 years old. Wow.

Tomorrow: Five Great Blowjobs Xmastime Has Gotten! Which means I have 24 hours to get four great ones. Hmm.