Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Hillary Hearts Peyton

For about 10 years, I had no problem telling people that Hillary would make a great president. And I believed it - I thought she was brilliant and practical and yes, the fact that she would have Bill available helped too. Of course, there's no way I ever thought she could be elected. Number one, she's a woman. And we can say what we wanna about the "American people" but the fact is we're prolly still a ways from electing a woman, and her being the one woman who can't be counted on to actually get the woman vote doesn't help her.

But now that she's actually in the race as a front-runner, there's no way I could vote for her. Her staff-driven calculated robot-like machinations are the stuff of legend in their absurdity. The line that seperates her from being a Republican is about as thick as Nicole Richie after a Drano popsicle. I like that unlike most Democrats she's not a complete pussy and is up for a fight, but her going after something Obama said in kindergarten is cringe-worthy and beyond petty. And her being a woman forces her to show extra toughness, so she's had to be more of a hawk than anyone else. When, ironically, her being a woman COULD HAVE been something to work in her favor in light of new information about Iran's nuclear program - she could come out and say hey, I'm a woman, I'm not goaded into false machismo and threatening other countries unnecessarily. But no.

Hillary won't get elected for many reasons, but it's just occured to me that she is the 1997 Peyton Manning of the race. Remember Peyton back then? As soon as the 1996 Hesiman winner was announced, everybody in the free world said well, next year Peyton will run away with it. A no-brainer. The months went on and on and all anybody talked about was how Peyton was definitly gonna win the award. Then a funny thing happened. People got tired of talking about him being the only choice. Even though he clearly deserved to win it, people simply got tired of talking about him and started looking for reasons to vote for somebody else, anybody else. The average voter thought fuck it, I'm tired of hearing about Peyton - I'll vote for so and so; it's only one vote anyway, Peyton will still win. And ta-da! Even though he should've, he didn't win. Now here we are still a year away from the election; there's no way in 6 months people are going to be able to stomach even mentioning Hillary's name. Even if you like her, it's all too much. Too much daily controvery, too much media, by the end people will be worn down to the nubs and will not be able to support her. Which is a shame, cause I do believe that if she dropped her robot act, stopped running desperately to the middle and allowed being a woman to work FOR her instead of trying to join the Boy's Club, I think if elected she could be a great president. But it ain't gonna happen. Hillary is trying so hard to be a man; she'd better hope she doesn't become a Manning.

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