Dutch: I told your mother I'd take you home for the holidays.
Doyle: I have plans.
Dutch: You gonna stay here? Watch the football game on TV? Make a turkey sandwich and hang yourself in the toilet?
Dutch: You might be the toughest little whacker at the junior high but in my world, you're about as worrisome as a cloudy day.
Dutch: Frankly, I don't care if you live, die, or grow mushrooms in your crack.
Dutch: Nothing burps better than bacon. Your water looked tasty.
Dutch: [In hopes of getting a ride, Dutch coaches Doyle on how to make a pathetic face] Act like you're not gonna get $10,000,000 when you're 21!
Dutch: I may not look like I could finance a trip to the zoo but the truth is I make a pretty good living.
Dutch: What do you like to do for fun?
[Doyle struggles to get loose, grunting around the gag]
Dutch: Oh, you like to wiggle and grunt. Me too.
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