Vampires

One reason I'll probably never get the whole Twilight-inspired vampire craze these days is that when I hear the word "vampire," I assume that someone will be trying to scare me. But good looking kids in designer clothing milling around high school waiting to make out with each other isn't particularly scary. I mean, if I'm watching a movie and at any moment a scene from The Breakfast Club might break out, I can't say I'm really white-knuckling things.Unlike, say, Vlad Tepes, the original blood-thirsty gangstah. Or Elizabeth Bathory, even. That people like that actually existed IS actually scary as shit. Just put me in a darkened room with that picture of Vlad, and soon enough I will be clawing at the sheetrock to get the fuck outta there, scared shitless. Hell, any footage of Romania at dusk is freaky ass shit; they should just loop footage of that shit and charge us $10 a ticket.

THIS is scary. THIS is scary. THIS is not scary. Sorry.