I'm Back.

I am not a dark person. You know this. But for me, I have been in a dark place for over a week now. Between being obsessed with Boy Interrupted and somehow caught in that goddam Spartacus show on Starz that devalues human life at an alarming pace, I have spent the last two weeks depressed over the prospect of death. Every mention of murder or suicide or death or even violence at all in the news I have flinched; I have become obsessed with dying in a way that is not natural to me. I let it overwhelm me for a while, which is not good. I believe in grief; I do not believe in overwhelming grief.

Finally today I snapped out of it. I'm not sure what it was, but I finally snapped back to myself. I'll be honest - a good part of it is having that poster of Big Bear on my door. If you can look at that and still be depressed, then you got problems.

I've had a rough week or two, but that's that. It's over now. Sure I'm scared of dying. But I'm more scared of spending another week being terrified of death like I just did. Already, I can look back and laugh at all this. I'm a strong motherfucker. In real life terms, I've been through a lot worse. I'm back.