Pilot (1989)
Good News Bad News (7/5/89)
Terrible. Although George's bit with the notepad and "why not bring in another guy?" line is great. And his "I'm aware of you" when Kramer ("Kessler") asks him about commercial real estate.
Season 1 (1990)
The Stakeout (5/31/90)
Blech. Although noteworthy for it being the first episode w/Elaine, the Loni Anderson bit, and the first time we see George utter the words "Art Vandelay."
The Robbery (6/7/90)
Awful, except for the Odds/Evens battle and George's later agony over losing it.
Male Unbonding (6/14/90)
Absolutely unfunny except for, again, George. Jason Alexander gets a lot of shit (including from himself) for basically doing a Woody Allen impression this early in the series, but so far he's the only thing worth watching.
The Stock Tip (6/21/90)
Even George couldn't save this one.
Season 2 (1991)
The Ex-Girlfriend (1/23/91)George's "If I was a different person" and "escaping prison" break-up story is great, and his ex is hot. And his "what am I, seeing Sinatra?" doctor's office line is awesome. Jerry actually says something funny at the end, "but you're a cashier!"
The Pony Remark (1/30/91)
Unwatchable.
The Jacket (2/6/91)
Now this is actually a good one. Watching George and Jerry squirm with Elaine's stern father is fun. George trying to guess the price of Jerry's new jacket is awesome, and his " I don't think there's ever been an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up" line is one I still live by.
The Phone Message (2/13/91)
Great lines:
George: For me to ask a woman out I gotta get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks.
George: She invites me up at twelve o clock at night, for coffee. And I don't go up. "No thank you, I don't want coffee, it keeps me up. Too late for me to drink coffee." I said this to her. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live. I can't imagine what she must think of me.
Jerry: She thinks you're a guy that doesn't like coffee.
George: She invited me up. Coffee's not coffee, coffee is sex.
Elaine: Maybe coffee was coffee.
George: Coffee's coffee in the morning, it's not coffee at twelve o clock at night.
Elaine: Well some people drink coffee that late.
George: Yeah, people who work at NORAD. Everything was going along so great: she was laughing, I was funny. I kept saying to myself "Keep it up, don't blow it, you're doing great."
Elaine: It's all in your head. All she knows is she had a good time. I think you should call her.
George: I can't call her now, it's too soon. I'm planning a Wednesday call.
Elaine: Oh, why? I love it when guys call me the next day.
George: Of course you do, but you're imagining a guy you like, not a guy who
goes (in stupid voice) "Oh no, I don't drink coffee late at night." If I call her now, she's gonna think I'm too needy. Women don't wanna see need. They want a take-charge guy - a colonel, a kaiser, a tsar.
Elaine: All she'll think is that you like her.
George: Yes, she wants me to like her, if she likes me, but she doesn't like me!
Elaine: I don't know what your parents did to you.
The Apartment (4/4/91)
Terrible except it features an all-time George bit:
GEORGE: Is that right? (Showing him up) I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for ever sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza. Lord of the Idiots!
The Statue (4/11/91)
Awful.
The Revenge (4/18/91)
Now THIS is the best one so far. George's musings with Jerry re: a new career is classic. The whole "pretend you never quit" narrative is classic, and George threatening to remove the fat girl's wig kills.
The Heart Attack (4/25/91)
Beyond atrocious.
The Deal (5/2/91)
Pretty unwatchable, saved only by George line: " You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!"
The Baby Shower (5/16/91)
Terrible. Good premise for George to fume, but only kinda comes off like it should.
The Chinese Restaurant (5/23/91)
The first "classic." George's talking about having to shit without a buffer costing him sex is an all-time classic, including his Batman reference.
The Busboy (6/26/91)
Awful
So there ya go. Mostly unwatchable, and almost 100% of great moments was purely because of George.
2 comments:
I think the '90s where the last time when shows were allowed to develop and find an audience. All the best, enduring shows needed a couple of seasons to hit their stride, which is why seasons 3, 4 are generally the ones to look out for.
Nowadays, if they don't take off from the get-go, show are canceled almost immediately thereafter.
Union Square!
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