What Took So Long?

The news today about Isiah's college coaching job is worrisome - if he's not getting paid, how motivated is he really gonna be to completely drive the program into the ground, leaving it obliterated for years? I'm confused at FIU's missing an opportunity here; don't they realize they're getting the "Isiah Thomas" of Organizational Suicides? - XMASTIME

Hey, whaddya know - Isiah got fired from FIU today:

Thomas told ESPN.com senior writer Andy Katz he was stunned by the firing.

"This is the most surprising thing that has happened to me in basketball," Thomas said. "I never been fired before for basketball reasons. This is the first time."

Yes, Zeke, we're all stunned too: after inheriting a 13-20 team, you were only able to drag it down to 8-21 in your three-year run? THAT doesn't sound like the Isiah Thomas we all know and...well, know.

Of COURSE he's stunned: with a five-year contract, surely he assumed he still had another two years to REALLY demolish whatever program he had gotten his mitts on - hell, with his Hall of Fame credentials, of course you'd think Florida International would not only be more than too happy to stand by and let him drive their dicks into the dirt, but the entire rinky-dink Sun Belt Conference as well. In going from Madison Square Garden to somewhere in Florida, there's no doubt that Zeke's eyes were lighting up at the prospect of flushing an entire REGION OF THE COUNTRY down the shitter with his bedazzling, once-in-a-generation incompetence, only to be cut off at the knees by people that are smarter than him, ie "people."

Fare thee well, Isiah. You tried your best, and that's what's important - it's not YOUR fault that the NCAA, or Florida, is still standing, and remember: thanks to a certain LAW of ZEKE, you'll have a job by Monday. Morning, probably.

"Email from Monster.com? Already? BOOM!"