Paddy Mac, 2026 Heisman Trophy Winner!
I'm just kidding, he's a terrible football player. Weighs 46 pounds and, if we're being honest, hasn't really shown the drive to be the single best college football player in the nation, so.
Dinner is served.
"Hi! Where might I go should I wish to shit my pants?"
"Which one of you motherfuckers took my Newports??!!"
Sistatime!'s first mimosa of the day. Hey, it's 10:30am somewhere, right?
"So there's no Santa Claus, AND I hafta wear a helmet around the house. Great."
Dessert is served.
"Are you Santa Claus? No? Then get the hell outta here. Don't be fucking up this year's haul, asshole."
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