Wednesday, March 08, 2006

My Bologna Has a first name, and It's YOU

If so many Americans are complaining about Hollywood being so “out of touch”, then why are the top 12 all-time grossing flicks as follows:

1. Titanic
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
4. Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace
5. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
6. Jurassic Park
7. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
8. Shrek 2
9. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
10. Finding Nemo
11. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
12. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

Hollywood is “out of touch”, but it look like we’re popping our hamstrings sprinting from our couches to the theaters to spend billions of dollars on movies about sorcery, witchcraft, hobbits, dinosaurs, space fighting, jedi religions etc etc. Surely all these Jesus-loving red staters would not pay money on a movie wherein a strange, freaky non-white character is proclaimed as the “Lord”, would they? And don’t tell me all these people went to see a movie about dinosaurs - how can there be dinosaurs when God was busy creating man in his own image. There’s no dinosaurs in the bible!!!!

Knock it off with this “Hollywood is out of touch” nonsense. Of course they are. It’s their job to come up with outer-limits, non-real, fantasy crap. You wanna pay to see a “real” movie instead? One which showcases your “values”, which I suppose are things like being nice to old people, going to church, and helping the poor etc. Hmm. I’m sure you’d run to the theater to see that. Or maybe we’ll just shoot a movie of you picking your ass for 2 hours. It’s never the smart, quiet thoughtful movies that you fuckers run to, it’s always some version of bombastic shoot-em up/cartoon/witchcraft with sluts crap that you run to dump your paycheck on. So quit being fucking hypocrites and acting like Hollywood is stopping you from leading your “wholesome, family-rich” lives; Hollywood is not turning your daughter into a New York walking poodle slut, but maybe your sitting in the basement jerking off to "Catwoman" 24 hours a day is. If you want Hollywood to change, then quit fucking paying to see these wastes of fucking celluloid and make Hollywood do what it dreads most: make a movie that doesn’t suck.

To finish, my pals over at Football Fans for Truth had a money quote:

“If George Clooney wins, there's no hope for Hollywood!"--Mort Kondracke
Yeah, that's right. What Hollywood needs more of is Harrison Ford, a tremendous talent who doesn't give a damn what movie he shows up in, so long as he's paid $20 million and a piece of the take. But a spectacularly successful movie star who rejects these easy choices, takes risks, creates passionate films about subjects that interest him without thought to popularity or money can only destroy the industry.”

So quit fucking being hypocrites before I really get pissed off and write something about how your precious Bible doesn’t have a lot of stories about “democracy” in it, yet “President Bush” is using it as a faux playbook for sending Americans overseas to get blown to bits. Get your head out of your ass.

13 comments:

Xmastime said...

dont need to be a movie guy to see hypocrisy/bullshit

Anonymous said...

back on the wagon, babe.

Anonymous said...

Can't we agree to disagree?

Or do I have to kick your ass?

Xmastime said...

no, we're not agreeing to disagree. this is Xmastime. don't like it, go to iloveseanhannity.com

Xmastime said...

when Xmastime started this it was Thanksgiving time. since then he forgot how to change the colors -he had planned on changing them every month. since then he's focused on content and pleasing his millions of fans and not wasting time dicking around with things like that. did I just refer to myself in the 3rd person 3 times? christ. Xmastime is gettin too big for his brothces!!!

Anonymous said...

You seem angry--

Bruce

Anonymous said...

You gotta' . . . gotta' take it easy.

Anonymous said...

"your precious Bible doesn’t have a lot of stories about “democracy” in it"

Aw, surely you know Jesus is non-partisan and pardons sin. :)

Anonymous said...

I do believe that my comment been SAVED! PTL

Xmastime said...

...and I'm pretty sure that if "Jesus" comes back he would be pretty disgusted with Bush (would Jesus be holed up on vacation playing his gold XBox while thousands of poor people lost their homes/lives in NO? nyet.) Bush acts like he's carrying out the works of Jesus (God spoke to him, after all), but from what I know about the Bible people like him were the very people Jesus despised. The proud, the vain, the greedy, the robbing from the poor etc. I think we can agree Jesus would be against these things. Bush can have his sins pardoned when he meets his maker, in the meantime I wish his sins weren't completely estroying the people he "rules" over.
Anyways...didn't I used to talk about food more? I need to get back on point!

Anonymous said...

The screen door slams, and Xmastime's dress waves.

Telling us who Jesus would have dug? Telling us that Jesus would have spurned Bush? The vain, the greedy, the robbing?

Bush may rule over you, Xmastime, but BIG MAN rules me.

Put some pants on.

Xmastime said...

http://clarenceclemons.com/main.htm

Xmastime said...

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=1702714&page=1

Ironically, these two speaking up and being pissed at Bush may do more for waking up red-staters than anything in the last 5 years. If the King & Queen of Redneck are pissed, maybe others will start thinking a little more. Or a LOT more.