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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Just My Luck

I'm homeless. Living in the street, in my own filth, starving for my next meal. Word comes down that dude about to be executed decreed us free pizzas. Get so excited. Something to live for. A brief light in the darkness. Hit the shelter, in line, can smell the cheese, get my plate, get served, look down and...


Vegetarian.

FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
























"Vegetarian? Oh, HELL no - kiss my big, brown, furry homeless ass, motherfucker!"

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

uh oh...you're not one of those BEAR guys are ya?

Anonymous said...

No you are NOT homeless! Are you? Seriously? For real. Are you?

Angelissima said...

a furry man a filthy laptop.
just when you thought things couldn't get worse...

Anonymous said...

Are you fur-real or are you cryin wolf?
Have you called Special Services and asked about emergency housing?

Did you get an envelope for your resume? Do you have a resume?

Do you need food clothing or shelter?

DO you have a PO box wherein your concerned readers could mail donations?

BayonneMike said...

I don't get it. Why's this killer getting credit for a good deed when all he did was request that someone else do a good deed since he was incapable of doing it himself as result of being convicted for murder?

Anonymous said...

the bear killed someone?