Oh Shit.

If theyre party cups, why are they named "Solo"? - XMASTIME

If you though 2016 couldn't get any worse, the guy who invented the red Solo cup just died. 

 

Fail du Jour

Tried to pick the right moment to add items to the office food bank, ie when everybody just happens to be standing around looking. 

Well hello, asshole!

Trump...Liar? Nooooooo!

No jail for Hillary. No swamp draining. If I don't get to freely grab pussy at the Great Wall of Mexico I'm gonna be pissed.

Fucking Amtrak

‪Amtrak's "apologies" when announcing a delay are about as useful as "thoughts & prayers" after a mass shooting. #titsonabull‬

Grrrr.

I fucking hate it when someone in front of me on the escalator shames me into walking it. Hey fuckface - if God wanted to invent stairs that don't move he already would have!!!!

Hmm.

Don't worry, I'm sure the people who spent the last 8 years quoting Jefferson's "When governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny" are furious about this.

Memories!

Failure du Jour

Trying to pick the right moment to add items to the office food bank, ie when everybody just happens to be standing around looking.

Someone seems to be ready to gtfo town. #Officecow

Awesome du Jour

Announcement du Jour

I'm officially calling it: on January 10, Trump will resign the presidency. Claiming his business entanglements are too great and stepping aside "putting America first," he'll get to spend the rest of his life claiming a "landslide" victory without, to his great relief, having to actually do the work.

Rap Sucks

There's maybe 4 guitar solos I've ever cared for but this is pretty funny.

The King

I have no problem with the thesis that Chuck Berry invented rock 'n roll:

When, inevitably, he passes away, the obituaries will note a vast artistic legacy, albeit with a stunted artistic career; the blunt ones will limn a stunted man, as well. But they might also mention that, if Chuck Berry did not invent the music synonymous with his name, he sensed something large in it, and, in a way no one else did, put that sense into words. In his hands, rock became something mythopoeic, and for a not-insignificant number of years, this exalted perception of itself reigned. Most of the significant artists of the last half-century or more didn't just make rock and roll records; they made records that in one way or another hinted at something bigger. It was something Chuck Berry told them they could do.

Memories!

“Justice Scalia captivates audience with story about seeing Gina Lollobrigida in line at the airport.”

Hmmm.

One interesting note about this article is that while "hard-working" is a euphemism for "white", nobody here seems particularly hard-working:

If Matt had a muse, it was Jessie, an unemployed ironworker, party animal, and backcountry poet. Rail thin, with a lisp and a few missing front teeth, Jessie had recently got out of jail after serving time for multiple D.U.I.s. “I may have slowed down on my partying, but I’m still a wild child,” he told us. “I’ve got to calm down.” Describing the rigid mind-set of his Pentecostal upbringing, he said, “You can’t read the Bible and then have a Budweiser. Either you live a straight line or you don’t.”

More "Yes, Minster"

Get thee to Amazon now and watch!

Truth du Jour

No matter how much British tv I watch or British lit I read, I'm pretty sure I'll never really understand what the hell A or O levels are.

Thoughts on Football. I Have Them.

I feel like "on great day" is superfluous here.

Making Lemonade

Trump may end unemployment once and for all just with the hyper-growth of the fact-checking industry.

I'm Probably a Math Genius

Takes two math geniuses coding and mathematical theory to learn what I've always known: get the light blues and oranges, then you win.

Thank You God!!

After talking about it for over a year, our long, national nightmare is finally almost over.

Embarrassed to Say...

...that I can attest to this being spot-on.

Giant du Jour

Looking at the 12 self-checkout lanes at the Shaw Giant makes me furious at the Mexicans who snuck them in here so Americans wouldn't have those jobs. Sad!

For Fuck's Sake

The next 4 years is gonna be a worse version of the mom in your office who guilts people into buying Girl Scout cookies from her kid.

In America.

This sums up how we are as people: guy who has time in the middle of the week to attend a rally, i.e. probably woefully underemployed, trying like hell to give cash to someone born into inconceivable privilege and money. Wow.

Thouhgts. I Have Them.

Somebody needs to explain to me why a video of this with Garfield has not been made.

Yes, Minister

Like last year, 2016 has been a fantastic year for me when it comes to BBC sitcoms. I can't possibly remember all of my new favorites, but after only one season I'm officially putting Yes, Minister in the pantheon previously.  Top 10 (at this moment) in bold.


IN THE PANTHEON OF BBC GREATNESS

Only Fools and Horses

The IT Crowd
Fawlty Towers
I'm Alan Partridge
Peep Show
The Inbetweeners
Blackadder
Vicar of Dibley
Rev.
To the Manor Born
The Good Life
Count Arthur Strong
Rising Damp
Open All Hours
Black Books
The Other Man(s)
Miranda
Vicious
Citizen Smith
Whites
Spy
Yes, Minister 

Also, Sir Humphrey from Yes, Minister may be closing in on the pantheon of sitcom characters, a la Bunker/Costanza/Del Boy/Alex P. Keaton/Charlie Kelly.

Quote du Jour

Line du Jour

I have no idea why I was even reading this article, but boy what a great line:

Every time he returned the ball, it was like watching a starving man get to eat.

Promise du Jour

This is from Australia. If Trump can somehow make America top this, I will happily vote for him in 2020.

Just Another Saturday Afternoon for Me

It should surprise exactly nobody that Saturday's Nutcracker at the Warner Theatre was my first-ever ballet; I was there to watch my little buddy Josie, who is already being hailed as maybe the best Nutcracker mushroom EVER.

If This Kid Needs an Intern...

...I am happy to help.

I Never Travel Far, Without a Little Big Star

Bell comes across in the film as a guy haunted about something we don't really know what, depressed and maybe a victim of his own artiness whose death at 27 seems somewhat inevitable. By the end of the movie you're simultaneously bummed thinking of all the great music Chilton and Bell never got to make together, but grateful for what little bit they did. - XMASTIME

Great article HERE on the tragedy of Chris Bell:

When Chris Bell's death was reported by a local newspaper in 1978, the headline read "Son of local restaurateur, killed at 27." But, Van Duren interjects: "It should have read rock genius."

October 9, 1940 - December 8, 1980

RIP du Jour

He never held my imagination like Neil Armstrong but dude had a helluva life.

Happy 60th Birthday

To the great Larry fucking Bird.

It's That Time of the Year

I had a ticket to see the Pogues with Op but I blew it off for some reason, I assume it was to bang out some strange, and it turned out to be the last show Kirsty Mccoll ever did before getting killed.  - XMASTIME

Great article about one of the greatest Xmas songs ever:

The last thing to say about "Fairytale of New York" is that every single time I really listen to it, by the lyrics "came in eighteen to one," I cry a fat tear. This may sound narrow of me, but if you can't identify with the protagonist, I don't think I want to know you or want you to live in my neighborhood. The longing of "Fairytale" for a better land, for better luck, and for better selves in the midst of vice and failure is nearly liturgical in its construction. In this way it's appropriately a song about the transition from Advent to Christmas, from the trials of waiting, to the bells ringing out.

It's not just a fun song, it's a salve to the soul.

ANNOUNCEMENT. I HAVE ONE.

Tramp Art, the doc about Xmastime buddies Marah is finally available - BUY IT HERE!!