I Mean,

...can we all just go ahead and agree that we love James Corden already?

In Their Defense....

....maybe they really hated him for being left-handed?

Oh for Fuck's Sake

Wow - with such clever placement and packaging no one will EVER think to steal this before I get home! Thanks genius delivery guy!

Whaddya Know

And here I was led to believe it was due to economic insecurity. Dummy!

Lot Going On Here.

The Truth.

I would pay any amount of money to hear the 20-minute discussion on Wang Dang Sweet Poontang that just took place in the Oval Office.

Goals. I Have Them.

Need to get a girlfriend just so I can buy her this shirt.

Cough.

Have a sneaking suspicion Ivanka's clothing line is about to have a break-through in Germany next week. No reason.

Beatlesthought Du Jour

At the time co-opting a Lennon demo felt a bit gimmicky; 20 years later, I have no problem putting this in my Top 20 Beatles Slices list.

This. Is a sad. Salad.

Hmm.

I feel like they could've made this one a little tougher to figure out.

Marah

Interview with longtime Xmastime buddy Dave from Marah. Great insightful stuff. 

Questions. I Have Them.

Is I'm Affected the best example of an incredibly shitty Ramones song sandwiched between 2 all-time incredibly awesome Ramones songs?

As a Native Virginian...

...I have no problem losing this part of my "identity."

And Suddenly...

...the Internet actually had a useful purpose.

So Apparently I've Been Scooped. Dammit.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

You may hate Obama. You may love Trump. But if you hear yourself about to refer to Trump as the MLK of anything you should probably just stop.

Dammit Internet

This is the MLB equivalent of those gotdam dots that tell you someone is replying to your text but you'll get to read it when we're good and ready.

What I've Learned from PBS

Apparently, nobody had to go to the bathroom during WWI.

Add caption

Orange Diet. Started.

Life & How To Live It

And just like that, we all move up one more notch.

Easter Schmeaster

Carb-loading before heading into the woods to take care of a few bears rather foolishly looking for trouble. If we don't make it back, tell the world our story.

It Must Be Easter Weekend

Car conversations with a 5 year-old:

Me: Hey, I'm no dummy. Her: That's right...you're a super-dummy.

Sigh.

Sad!

Before you give Trump any shit for this you should note that the zip code 19003 belongs to Ardmore, PA, where Kobe Bryant played high school ball and went on to get so sick and tired of winning he drove Shaq from the Lakers. So sick it, losers!!!

Easter Thoughts. I Have Them.

After he rose from the dead, did Jesus even consider getting back in the carpentry game?

"...that people who aren't rich may easily be denied health insurance."

Happy Easter!

Easter brunching with the Goddaughter. I had the cheddar cheese omelette and a Bloody Mary, and she had a plate of syrup.

Life. Sigh.

Completely empty train car. Dude comes in and sits down in the seat right across the aisle from me. I do not fucking understand people.

Quote du Jour

Post. Mate.

Was bummed I didn't get my tacos but this seems JUST a bit over-dramatic.

Still True.

A Day in the Life.

1. Hear a knock on the door.
2. Turn television to the game.
3. Open door.
4. Get food from delivery man.
5. Shut door.
6. Turn television back to Gilmore Girls.

Quite a life I'm putting together here, people.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

To be gleeful about Trump's healthcare fail is to not realize his best hope now is for a terrorist attack to happen so he can wildly overplay his hand while we forget everything else about his presidency.

Ladies, Melania Is Here to Help.

As in if you're plucky enough to be born with the looks of a supermodel you may one day marry a billionaire you don't live with? Nice!

Paddy Mac du Jour

My nephew, the curiously serious art student.

Trump du Jour

Are Trump's weekly golf outings to Mar-a-lago the best proof yet that exercise really doesn't have as much impact on weight loss as diet?

Life & How to Live It

8:57am: "Maybe I should work on my penmanship so I can recognize my own notes."
8:59am: "Oh, dear God."