Monday, March 30, 2015

Too Easy

Obviously, the winner is George trampling over kids during a fire.

Saving Private McDonald

The funny about fast food burgers is a lot of times these days they're overshadowed by the other stuff on the menu - chicken sandwiches, chicken mcnuggets, fries, tater tots, curly fries, fried curly tots, fried curly tots with cheese, fried curly tots with cheese battered with chicken mcnuggets while some fucking retarded asshole insists on spending 10 minutes mopping under your table ("excuse me...excuse me...move your feet please...excuse me...") even though there's not another human being sitting and eating in the entire place, chili, jalepeno poppers, etc etc. In general, McDonald's burgers are rarely satisfying. - XMASTIME
Matt Yglesias suggests McDonalds could save themselves by having breakfast all day, which exactly everybody in the world has been clamoring for years, and ditching the burgers which nobody in the world really gives a shit about:
The basic state of the McDonald's menu is this: it has the best breakfast sandwiches in the world (egg McMuffin or egg McMuffin with sausage, depending on your mood), while the hamburgers are not the best in the world.

The point is that there's no need to be dogmatic about breakfast or lunch. The key thing is to be dogmatic about excellence. That means using the grill for the breakfast items at which McDonald's excels, rather than for the lunch sandwiches that are mediocre at best.
I've never cared for the Egg McMuffin, but their biscuit sandwiches are, without a doubt, the best.  And those hash browns could fry right up alongside the fries, n'est-pas?

A-Rod, At Some Point

Via the LOHUD Yankees blog:
• As a side note to the Rodriguez situation: He’s also handled all of the off-the-field stuff pretty well. Believe it or not, he actually makes some small talk and jokes with reporters in the clubhouse. Teammates seem to like him. Opposing players don’t seem to completely hate him. He’s heard his share of boos, but he’s heard plenty of cheers as well. I’m telling you, from every angle, this situation has been much better and easier than I expected. The Yankees seem to feel the same way. Both Brian Cashman and Joe Girardi said yesterday that they’re happy with the way Rodriguez has settled back into the clubhouse.
I wonder if part of it is exhaustion. You can only hate on somebody for so long before you hafta move on a little bit at least. Tho A-Rod gets no quarter for this bungling:
I do hope, in all seriousness, that I can be an asset for Joe at some point during the year. If Tex or Chase needs a blow at some point, hopefully I can be an asset for Joe at some point.”

Life and How to Live It

How to explain to a 3 and 5 year-old girl what happened to a mouse you caught.

Friday, March 27, 2015

NOTE TO SELF

Write a screenplay about a guy who goes to random Catholic school Friday Night Fish Fry Fundraisers to meet single mothers.

Questions. I Have Them.

What's the name of the phenomenon wherein despite there being 3 playrooms in the house, children insist on (loudly) playing in the 6 foot space between me and the television?

Well.

Nothing says "I took steroids" quite like an essay repeatedly proclaiming "I never took steroids!"

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Fried Chicken NYC

Goathamist lists the 8 Best Fried Chicken Spots in NYC, and I've been to three: Pies 'n Thighs, Charles'Country Pan Fried Chicken and...well, Popeyes.

See my Pies 'n Thighs review HERE.

My apology to Popeyes HERE.

Chicken porn HERE.

And of course LOWERY'S.

Idea du jour

Nachos, in which the tortilla chips are replaced by Chicken McNuggets (note: not just chicken nuggets, but Chicken McNuggets)

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I just realized I work with a few people who have no memory of the OJ trial. #omg #oldasfuck

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Jeter must be kicking himself he retired.

The Yankees recreate a scene from The Sandlot.

Missed This Last Week


Life & How to Live It

The first thing I do whenever I walk into my apartment is check behind the shower curtain to see if anyone’s waiting to chop me up into pieces. Partly to put my mind at ease, but mostly so that in the event this actually happens my last words on this Earth will be a super-smug “Well, I knew it!”

Monday, March 23, 2015

Thoughts. I Have Them.

One thing I didn't miss during the past year during which I didn't have a tv was losing the gotdam remote every 15 seconds. Grrr.

Poor Fritz

VIA. Fucking dying.

Quite a Life I'm Putting Together Here, People.

Yes, I seeded my 16 favorite BBC sitcoms and plauyed out a tournament. You're welcome.


Damon Bailey

The Legend of Damon Bailey (he of one of the greatest Xmastime lists of all time.)

Can't embed the video. Grrr.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I can forgive myself for sitting through two hours of this godawful movie the other night (hell, I've seen worse) but watching the 11-minute "behind the scenes of" is unforgivable.

Christian Laettner

Rocking the old-school Doritos bag!

Brings back Doritos memories...

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Kids in Philly Day

(Originally posted on 3/24/2010)
As women don't talk to me and I'm good at remembering dates, I believe 10 years ago today I saw my favorite band Marah for the first time, at the TLA in Philly for the Kids in Philly release show.

Looking back, I can't believe I even went - although I had heard Cut the Crap, I hadn't even heard Kids in Philly yet, and the number of times I've gone to a show and been blown away by songs I have never heard before still stands at exactly one. They immediately became my favorite band since high school; hell, not to be dramatic, but I had given up ever finding another rock 'n roll band to love. But I did, and it was them. And that KIP tour just kept on giving and giving, from this show to one a few weeks later where they played some tiny restaurant on a stage the size of a small desk, and the owner wouldn't let them quit cuz they were blowing the roof off the joint. Mercury Lounge, when I got kicked out maybe 3 seconds in. It all crested in November, three ridiculously good shows at the Khyber, which also set the look of the album into stone for me when we walked around Philly as surely-made-for-the-movies piles of multi-colored leaves were all around us.

Another highlight of that night 10 years ago today: eating my first real Philly cheesesteak, and then watching Mike Lisk laugh at me for twenty minutes while my nose bled as he somehow took the entire 20 minutes to eat a slice of pizza  :)

I can't find any video of that show, which is till one of my all-time favorites, but here's some tv footage put together when KIP came out. What a fucking album.

List du Jour

Here's the numbers from this list of 55 Things Only 80's Boys Understand that apply to me:
1
23
37
39
41
42
47
And, of course, good ol' 18:

More Kids in Philly Day

Inside cover art.