Monday, May 25, 2015

Things I Know I Know

From what I've ascertained, a big part of marriage is asking each other if you have your keys when leaving the house.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Thoughts. I Have Them.

My plan to eventually marry into money in my old age is the equivalent of someone taking confession for absolution of their sins on their deathbed.

Happy 35th Birthday


I've never been a video game guy, but when I was a kid it'd be tough to say there was a bigger cultural phenomenon than Pac-Man. To this day it's the only video game that even mildly interests me, probably because of its simplicity.

Play it HERE.

To me, the most interesting part comes from its inventor:
Iwatani said he did not personally profit from the creation of Pac-Man, saying, "The truth of the matter is, there were no rewards per se for the success of Pac-Man. I was just an employee. There was no change in my salary, no bonus, no official citation of any kind."
That's pretty in credible. And then of course there's the evil Billy Mitchell.

Peanut Butter Announcement

I've evolved to organic, but I'll be gotdammed if I ever switch to creamy.


Summer Fridays have begun. #bloody  #oldbay

Dammit Bill.

Chocolate cake may be good for you? Wtf?

But even I don't think I can work up a "Bill Cosby called this 33 years ago" joke :(   #dadisgreat  #givesusthechocolatecake.

Who says dreams don't come true? #america #HEARDofit?

Yes, This Makes Me Better Than You

Free Work

Article yesterday on the second job you didn't even know you had:
 I define shadow work as all the unpaid jobs we do on behalf of businesses and organizations: We are pumping our own gas, scanning our own groceries, booking our travel and busing our tables at Starbucks. Shadow work is a new concept, so as yet, no one has compiled economic data on how many jobs we, the consumers, have taken over from (erstwhile) employees. Yet it is surely a force shrinking the job market, and the unemployment it creates is structural. Thanks in part to this new phenomenon, widespread joblessness could become entrenched in the social landscape.
I of course have been bitching about this for years:
Which reminds me. Grocery stores: what happened to your bag boys? The $0.49/hr you were paying got too steep? What the fuck, now I find myself having to fucking bag my own shit? And it’s always that awkwardness; I’ll fumble with my money extra long so that the cashier will finally decide to do it. Cause you feel like an asshole just standing there until she finally does; people behind you sighing and rolling their eyes. I’ll time it til she starts it, feign starting to reach for a bag “oh, you got it, okay.” Is having someone bag my groceries too much too ask, too steep a service? I don’t wanna fucking bag, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m putting the milk and croutons in the same bag with my Over-Sized Specially Made I Hope She’s a Horse Hefty Bag Condoms; can someone else fucking help me please?

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Mad Men Memories, I

At the end of tonite's episode, Telstar came on as we see Don on a plane to LA. A super, SUPER all-time slice by the TRULY one and only Joe Meek. Whenever I hear this I go back to being a kid, lying out in the backyard and looking at the stars; anytime something up there would move I'd play this song in my head, wondering what it was that was moving so far, far away in the darkness. That's what sucks about living in the city, where the only stars you can see are on the ground. This song, even without words, has an amazingly instant poignancy about it that kills me every time. Absolutely a funeral slice; prolly my favorite instrumental of all time.

I Thought I Was a Fuckboy

But a fuckboy does these things, of which I do exactly none.
A fuckboy…
– Likes your Instagram but doesn’t text you back
– Thinks stoplights are a great place to talk to women
– Has at least two mirror pictures on social media
– Posts memes on Instagram
– Uses Snapchat as his preferred method of communication
– Says things like, “The problem with feminism is…”

Letterman's finale Did the Goddam Impossible

Made Sting funny. Wow. And yes that's James Corden from my 2014 slice, The Other Man(s).

Rumor Central

Are an avec-Serge Marah getting offically back together, along with an If You Didn't Laugh You'd Cry era Adam/Petey?

I had a soul epiphany playing music with these badass people the past few days. Just really magic for me. Looking forward to more. Marah/'The Hustle'. Enjoy.
Posted by Serge Bielanko on Thursday, May 21, 2015


One of the big thrills when I was a kid was the annual airing of Riki-Tiki-Tavi, including that iconic rotating CBS logo that announced it and other specials (Peanuts, etc.)

And now you can read how Chuck Jones, the King of animation, drew him:
Jones drew up a model sheet that described how the mongoose should enter the frame. “When Rikki enters the scene, let him fill an imaginary Rikki until his nose reaches the proper point,” he wrote. “[T]hen the rest expands and the last movement is when his whiskers pop out and vibrate.” He also noted how the mongoose should leave: “When Rikki leaves the scene, follow the angle of his pose. Hold tail until head is well out—the snap tail along path and out.” 

According to Kenner, Jones described this method in 1977 as akin to a number of cars stopped at a light: “When the light changes, the 15 cars won’t move off en bloc,” Kenner writers. “No, car 1 must move ahead several feet before car 2 can even start moving, likewise car 3, car 4 … so the string lengthens as it gets into motion.” (He also used this analogy to describe how Wile E. Coyote fell.) This take on the character's movement made it one of the most fondly remembered things about the film.

Xmastime TV Review

I previously lambasted the stodgy, hamfisted, pretty awful Undateable. For some reason I feel compelled to keep watching it, pretty much because the Justin character is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny even if everything else about the show sucks.

But I just watched an episode that they aired live, and must say it was actually pretty funny. The guest stars helped as well as the acknowleding several times that they were on tv. And Justin cracking up was dynamite.

So I actually thohguht to myself "fuck it, why don't they do all their shows live? There's nothing original at all about the show, but that could really set it apart and give it some life." And if they actually waxed the dude's stomach hair, even better.

I'm almost never right - but then VOILA!  All of next season will be live!

Plans. I Have Them.

Seriously thinking about doing a major sock drawer purge tonight.