Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Gavin & Stacey

This one scene has almost everything that’s great about Gavin & Stacey in it (almost!)
1. Great song
2. Smithy's ebullience is contagious
3. "C'mon dickhead!"
4. The normally level-headed Gavin getting caught up in the fun
5. "Because it's Chrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiistmas!"
6. The "I'm not gonna tell you" switcheroo.
7. Of course Smithy hasn't even started Xmas shopping!
8. Perfect dudespeak, with "you're so gay!"
A perfect scene.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Happy Birfday!

To my little buddy Milla, who 6 years ago offered me up this chance for a beautiful, touching moment:

Milla: There's a rainbow - lets go catch it!!!!
Me: You cant catch a rainbow. Sit down.

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

Maybe he works at a golf club?


Conversations with a 6 year-old:

Her: what happens when you get to 100?
Me: ha! Well, most people don’t make it to 100. I won’t even come close, and since I’ll die all alone it’ll probably take weeks for someone to notice I’m gone and find me.
Her: (long pause, staring at me) no, I mean does it go 100, 101, 102, 103...?

I Will Admit This

His restraint in not taking credit for Curb Your Enthusiasm returning this year is remarkable.

Hi! I'm Businesscow!

...happy to help with the transfer of the ownership of goods or services from one person or entity to another in exchange for other goods or services or for money...

Well There Goes My Spring Plans


Oh For Fuck's Sake

If you thought 2017 was bad DC's Union Market now has bathrooms for skinny people only. Wtf?!?!?!

#WednesdayWisdom! (on Tuesday)


Only Fools du Jour

Grandad: They used to have little lads of 14 pretending they was 18 just so they could fight for their king and country!
Del: What, and they accepted the little sprogs?
Grandad: More often than not…my brother George lied about his age.
Rodney: Pretended he was 18?
Grandad: No, he was 18, he pretended he was 14. They saw through it though. I think it was the mustache.

Nom Nom Nom!

IMHO, the kitchen apparently watching Laverne & Shirley adds greatly to the already-high amount of delightfulness.

Something I Learned Today

Watching a basketball game at my age basically means screaming “he travelled!!!” at the tv for two hours.

Great.

So if I’m ever gonna go see the Ratatouille sequel (fingers crossed!) I’m gonna need to train like a Navy Seal first. Of course.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

‪I feel like we’re only a few years away from being rid of the generation who makes the “wow, I remember when phones were used for PHONE calls!” joke. ‬

Shitter News

I’m that perfect age of a generation that appreciates the environmental impact of tubeless toilet paper rolls but won’t buy them a second time because looking at them quite frankly weirds me the fuck out.

Truth Time

I really hate it and totally cringe whenever adults say “poop” instead of “shit.”

Congrats!

Hey, everybody's gotta be the best at something. With me, it's back farts.

Monday, January 01, 2018

January 1, 1998

Almost didn’t realize that 20 years ago today I moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. From a post ages ago:
“When I moved to New York City I had $7, which I immediately spent at White Castle. Then for weeks I wandered the streets looking for a job, with those roasted peanut carts wringing my guts out block by goddam block. Finally I'd had enough and was gonna give up for good when for some reason I walked into the old Tower Records on 42nd street, where on a huge screen the video for ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ kicked off right when I walked through the door as if it had been waiting for me. The timing was perfect; I WAS that guy walking down the street. It was the moment I realized I belonged in the city. It was the moment of my life. And I'll never forget it.”
I’m sure I’ll spend time tomorrow digging up old posts and being weepy. 

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Because It's Been More Than 10 Minutes Since I Bitched About the GOP Tax Bill

Dipshit Republicans love to throw this quote around, but their tax bill shows they aren't even pretending to fear the people anymore.

Businesscow Rides Amtrak

Just found out there is a business class car.

2017 Unthinkable Milestone Achievements

Just told a 6-year old her drawing was awesome...and I meant it.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

If there’s not a video of Garfield singing along to this then I really don’t know what the hell we’re even doing here anymore.

how i SZee the GOP Tax Bill Playing Out


Step 1: average Republican worker thrilled with moderate tax cut. “Praise Trump! Glory to Trump!”
Step 2: starts to notice his taxes rising again while corporate cuts stay the same.
Step 3: realizes he was duped, while GOP fat cats are completely stuffed to the gills with his cash.
Step 4: temporary relief - McRib is back!!!
Step 5: embarrassed at looking foolish, so doubles down: “We need a bigger tax cut for billionaires!
Step 6: watches Brady win another fucking Super Bowl.
Step 7: finds a way to blame Democrats.


Lather, rinse, repeat.