There are a few people who have done nothing but make the entire world a better place, and Carol Burnett is one of them. 🤗❤️🤣🤣
Friday, April 26, 2024
I Miss You, China Taste
Kinda crazy how many things from the post are still hot topics for me on he show.
Enjoy! 😜😜🕺🥡🥡
So today let's all raise a pork bun to my #1 all-time greasy Chinese joint in all of NYC. Godspeed, China Taste. You're going to that Great Wok in the Sky. Every time I hear a knock on the door, I will secretly pray it's you. And I will have my pants on. For the love of god and all I know sacred, I will have my pants on...CONTINUE READING
XMASTIME 15 Years Ago Today #XOTD2009
Ahhh yes, the Swine Boy Origin Story!
When I moved to NYC over 11 years ago, the first job I had was graphic designer for a string of copy shops in mid-town. Coming from Virginia was bad enough, but I had just come from living in Mississippi for 2 years, so the people I worked with got a kick out of me being the resident Jethro straight-off-the-farm; they were probably mildly amused I was familiar with indoor plumbing.
For some reason, my first week there I literally broke every thing I touched. Computer, printer, 2 copy machines, the fax. My beefy paws touched it, it broke, finally prompting Parish, the copy machine tech guy who was from Trinidad and every single thing he said was funny, to blurt out "Dammit, you hafta be careful with the equipment, you're not back on the farm wrestling hogs Swine Boy!!" From then on, I was "Swine Boy."
🐷🤗🕺🤣
OK I Really Wanted to Let This One Go But They Pushed Me Goddammit 😡😡😡😡
Interviewer: Which breakfast cereal mascot would you most want to punch in the face?I know it's a light "who cares?" interview but her hack joke about Count Chocula is beyond hacky; I know it's an easy go-to for comedians to do the ol' "don't make me do math!" trope but Count Chocula has nothing to do with counting, that's the Count from Sesame Street (my favorite Sesame Street character!), and I'm putting the other 2 guys on blast for not jumping in and pointing this out. 😡😡😡😡
Sarah Cooper: oh my God you know, Count Chocula because I don't like math
Seinfeld on Comedy
Earlier today I mentioned getting to hear Joe Strummer talk about The Ramones being pure magic & I have to say the exact same thing about Jerry Seinfeld talking about the role of comedy & class in America. Fascinating.
Comedy really defined the first moment in American culture where we really created a context for upward mobility. I mean, that was the whole idea of America. Let's have a place where you rise and fall based on your ability and eliminate the class system. So people were encouraged to kind of step up, and let's see what you have, and that is the comedic metaphor, really, is if you think you can do this, go ahead. Standup comedy is wide open. You don't have to know anybody. You don't have to have connections. You don't have to be trained. They just go, well, get up there. So, and I think Americans kind of like that. That's our country. That's what we love about it. It's like, you wanna do something? Go ahead, try it. If you can do it, you're in, you can't, you're out.
Enough is Enough Already
O. M. G.
I'VE DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE: I used both cold & warm butter to make the single greatest grilled cheese of all time!! Don't believe it? Hear it for yourself!! #eggfoowhat 🤗🧈🧈
A Quick Note of Worry for You People (You're Welcome)
Questions. I Have Them.
Why is it that when some old motherfucker tries to explain how begrudgingly they're okay with gay people or any other "nontraditional" sexual relationship they dismiss their intimate relations by always using the phrase, "get up to", as in "hey, I don't care what they get up to in the privacy of their own bedroom"? The hit rate for this is like 100%, and I've literally never heard any of them refer to heterosexual activity in such a way, so...dafuck? 🤔🤷♂️
One Thing You People Should Know About Me
I was never what would you call a Sonic Youth fan other than Teenage Riot as you already know but you're goddam right I was totally 1000% madly in love with Kim Gordon because hey - breaking news - I have eyeballs.
A Probably Too-Hot-For-You-People Take on Michael Scott
I mean I understand he’s history’s greatest monster and of course he instantly became horrible right after but let me be a beacon of light in letting the record show that he DID make sure Phyllis was okay first, so.
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Joe Strummer talking about The Ramones is exactly one thing, and that one thing is "pure magic".
Documentaries I'd Watch, Vol. XVII
A documentary on the really young kids who fell in love with The Office & then started their first real job after college thinking that's how offices really are and are shocked on Day 1 to learn otherwise; I'd totally watch that shit.
Oh No.
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Fantasy Time, with Xmastime!
Today was BRING YOUR KID TO WORK DAY! which was a lot of fun, especially because there's an entire room of free retro arcade games in the building but there was one kid gong on & on bragging about all the video games he won against all the other kids & all the free donuts he housed all the day long & it was all I could within my own strength to chop down on my tongue & not say "yeah well they pay me $_______ to be here so I'm not sweatin' it either you little shit."
Aaaaaaaaaaand....
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