Monday, August 14, 2017

AITF du Jour

Archie's attention to detail is an inspiration.

Charlottesville

That moment when you realize you forgot your hoods.

Charlottesville

Starting to have a sneaking suspicion the 2016 election wasn't really about email server management.

Charlottesville

Are we sure they're not simply expressing dissatisfaction with UVa alum Tiki Barber?

Charlottesville

In case you were worried these people couldn't be any whiter, they managed to drag hockey into this shit. Wow.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Has Trump's emboldening of racists hurt jobs in the white hood industry? Sad!

Saturday

Went to Giant and back in 15 minutes and in that time the skies opened up. Came home, my kitchen had flooded. "Oh well," I sighed. "Could be worse - at least I'm not some fucking Nazi in Charlottesville today."

Sat down, couldn't immediately find my Apple TV remote. "WHY OH WHY GOD DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME I HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!!!"

Saturday

Went to Giant and back in 15 minutes and in that time the skies opened up. Came home, my kitchen had flooded. "Oh well," I sighed. "Could be worse - at least I'm not some fucking Nazi in Charlottesville today."

Sat down, couldn't immediately find my Apple TV remote. "WHY OH WHY GOD DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME I HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!!!"

Charlotttesville

Great speech, but you don't have to be Jefferson or Washington to be a patriot. Simply being tolerant of others and not waving your guns around at Noodle Company should suffice.

The Best

I could watch Tim Conway leave Harvey Corman out to dry all day on a loop :)


Memories!


Oh For Fuck's Sake

The irony is thick with this one.

Charlottesville

A side note about this weekend we also may wanna consider is why we're perfectly fine with people (well, white people) showing up to play pretend military, with real automatic weapons.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I feel like if you can escape prison using only peanut butter then fuck it, you get to stay free.

Sigh.

My 5 year-old goddaughter after we've played 3 R.E.M. songs: "Can you play music that's good?

North Korea

If fucking Trump gets us all killed before the upcoming season of Curb Your Enthusiasm I'm gonna be PISSED.

Ah, Memories.

Who amongst us doesn't remember the thrill of picking out a Trapper Keeper and .30-30 high-speed lever action rifle before school started? #walmart

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Fighting Cancer

A good point about people urging John McCain to "fight" cancer:
The potential problem with the word “fight” is that it puts the onus on the patient to get better, sending the message that the outcome of their treatment is their responsibility. If they fight hard enough, their tumor will evaporate. If they fight hard enough, they will be cured. 
Which of course is nonsense.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you call this bullshit six years ago?" 

Sigh. Of COURSE I did, faithful readers:

5) “She’s fighting cancer”
This is another thing people say to make themselves feel better. So & so is 94, has cancer, is immobile and in a hospital bed but we gotta say “Hey, she’s fighting it. She’s a fighter.” Is she? I dunno. You’re basically lying there – there’s nothing you can do with your hands, the medication’s not working; am I now to believe you’re using a Jedi mind trick to keep yourself alive? We always like to feel like someone hung there an extra day or two by sheer determination. Cause yeah, if there’s ever a period of my life I’d like to drag out a little longer it’s when I’m in bed shitting myself while my family hovers over top of me waiting for me to kick so they can all fight for my “Highlights” collection. I wanna be the other guy, so they say “Yeah, I dunno, I thought Xmastime woulda lasted a few more days, but he really seemed to give up and let himself die. Didn’t fight it at all. A quitter, some might say.”

Damn.

The real shame of Trump's presidency is it's making everyone forget his star turn as Stillwell in A League of Their Own. Sad!

Ponch & Jon

Working up the onions to ask these guys how realistic the Chips movie was.

Suggestions. I Have Them.


Who the fuck would get this in any color other than black?!??!?