On a Day to Combine My 2 Favorite Things: Love and Fast Food (Not in that Order)

The Pixies' Doolittle is a great album. For one, at that point it was the only album I had ever bought sight unseen, never even having heard of the band. More importantly, it's the album I bought when this happened: my 17th birthday, I’m at the record store, at Plan 9 in Richmond. Lookin to blow some birthday money on a fancy new cassette tape. So I’m hanging out, going through all the tapes blah blah blah. All of a sudden this little wimpy dude comes up to me. “Hey man, can you help me with something?” So I turn to this guy like I dunno, what can I do for you. And he asks me if I know the name of a certain song so he can find it. You remember this song, a million years ago, by like Keith Sweat or someone, I can’t remember anything about it, except the chorus: (picture Xmastime singing rather sexily) “Can we talk it over in bed”?

I’m like well, I dunno, I don’t work here and before I can finish the sentence he starts singing. This quiet, soulful song. And me, being an idiot, I actually listen and after a few lines I’m like nope, sorry, no idea. I go back to flipping through tapes, kid keeps singing. And he’s getting closer and closer to me. He keeps singing! Again, I’m like sorry buddy, can’t help you. All of a sudden he’s up on me, touches my arm, and gets to the chorus

“…can we talk it over in bed…”

FINALLY I realize, this kid is hitting on me! My first ever gay guy hitting on me! Doesn't just hit on me, but fucking sings to me, in the middle of the damn store “Can we talk it over in bed?”!

The beauty of it all? Guy was still in his McDonald's uniform, complete with visor cap.














"You had me at 'Super-size me'!"