Ann Coulter is Not Crazy, She's Just Pissed at Not Being as Hot as Laura Ingraham

It’s almost impossible to get angry at Ann Coulter anymore – in my eyes, if you’re a liberal and let yourself get all puffed up about the garbage she spews then you’re as much of an idiot as the right wingers buying her books and shouting “Amen!” Seriously, how is it even possible people take her seriously at all? But you are right to be pissed at the goddam shows that have her on – Chris Matthews being the most disappointing. You wanna be taken seriously as a “hard news” show, how bout not repeatedly having guests whose sole reason for being on are to “shock!” us? Are ratings that important; why not just have shows with women blowing donkeys while painting on a canvas with their snatches? It’s the same shit.

But Coulter is brilliant cause this go-round she’s acting EXASPERATED! FURIOUS! Angry that these shows are having her on all day long to defend herself. She’s pissed!!!....sprinting to her limo to run from show to show to desperately hawk herself (oh so reluctantly.) Which these shows allow her to do. Hell, on Chris Matthews show she got him to badger her to agree to debate John Edwards on the issues! Excuse me? I mean, can ANYONE get a televised debate with a Presidential candidate? “Sir, if you’re serious about running this country you’re going to have to explain yourself on national tv to this woman whose credentials include weighing 4 pounds and being crazy. You better get your shit together!!”

Ann Coulter is not crazy, she’s not the devil; that’s giving her too much credit. If I could make a billion dollars screaming that Baby Jesus dated Hitler and shit out the Three Little Pigs, I would. It’s not just that people are sheep, people are stupid sheep. Look at the GOP. All they’ve screamed for the last ten years is FAMILY VALUES!! FAMILY VALUES!! THE FETUS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!! Now here come Guiliani, the exact opposite of this credo, and what do you know, Pat Robertson is playing grab-ass with him the other day “Rudy’s a great guy! My guy for prez!!” So at that moment millions of people spin 180 degrees from what they’ve been trained to think and now Rudy’s their man. And it doesn’t even occur to them to think WHY they’re changing their vote. Except, of course, the people who can’t wait to vote for some jackass actor cause he looks “serious and presidential!” on a tv show. I suppose these are the same idiots that would feel safe if Kareem Abdul-Jabbar strapped on some epaulets and sat down in the cockpit.

And I will say this, and you heard it here first: my Xmas senses are tingling, and I see Coulter only has one more crazy, media-grabbing direction to go. Nothing outrageous to say, I guarantee that within 12 months of today she will do the unthinkable: ditch the Repubs and OHMYGOD!! swing allegiance to the left. Genius. Will propel her career another 10 years.











"Keep blathering, Ann....but guess whose tongety-tongs Xmas is gettin up in?"