My favorite guy in the Corporate Bathroom is THE GUY WITH THE CLEANEST HANDS IN THE WORLD. This guy drives me fucking bananas. I go into the pisser, there's some guy at one of the two urinals. I start pissing next to him; he obviously finishes first as he's been there before me. I'm not interested in starting up a game of small-talk with some complete stranger, so I figure I'll just stand at the urinal and wait for him to wash his hands/leave the bathroom. A process which should take about another 20 seconds.
But of course this guy has decided he has to have the cleanest hands in the world - he starts washing, and washing....AND WASHING!!!!! Scrubbing his fucking hands; I'm like dude, were you handling nuclear waste when you were pissing? WTF? Have THAT many dudes fucked Fergie? Meanwhile I'm standing there with my dick in my hand waiting, and so much time has passed as he's been standing there scraping off layers of his own skin that by this time I know HE'S probably wondering how on Earth I could be pissing so long. Meanwhile scrub scrub scrub - I wanna peep over to see if he had brought his fucking dishes from home to fucking wash. Unbelievable.
Finally of course someone has to break and it's always me, nobody will believe 3 1/2 minutes of pissing. I hafta fucking sigh and walk over to where Dr. Fuckwad is prepping for surgery and numb myself into the fucking 30 seconds of chatter I know I'm gonna be getting. Jesus fucking christ.
Sigh.
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