Thursday, December 30, 2010

Heat and War (The Only Things We are Today)

Moi ICI:
Anytime I read about or see a re-enactment of any Civil War battle, it's always in the summer, and 100 degrees. In woolen uniforms. Imagine going outside in such heat in a coupla sweaters and doing ANYTHING, much less walking for dozens of miles and then getting shot at. At the Battle of Monmouth during the Revolutionary War, as many soldiers died due to 104-degree heat as they did to bullets. Vietnam was in the jungle, so it was either 100 degrees or pouring rain. Today our soldiers are in the scorching desert heat of Iraq.

Getting shot at is hard enough; do we really need to do this shit in such hot weather? Tis not for me - Valley Forge, now that's more my style. Hang out in some tents playing cards, snow falling by the foot. If you get into a battle, you don't hafta worry about the heat. Hey, I liked playing football in the cold and snow and hated playing it in the heat, why wouldn't I prefer my wars the same war? It's not rocket science, people.

I feel the same way about the storming of the Bastille. Any account you read of that day always mentions "and by the way, it was boiling hot."  I mean, it's the middle of the goddam summer for fuck's sake. If I was the HFIC, there's no way it woulda happened then. I'd have been like "come on guys, can't this wait til the fall? I mean, it's too fucking hot for this shit today!"

Oh, how different world history would be if it had to deal with my aversion to the sun. Sigh.

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