DQ IN THE NYC

Dairy Queen has hit Manhattan and, like fucking, there's some back-n-forth.

Dairy Queen's Union Square debut doesn't spell the death of local culture, especially in a city that's always changing and a neighborhood that's already stuffed to the gills with chains. And hey, even I'm grateful for conveniences like Starbucks providing a tax-free municipal public bathroom service for our city. But there comes a point when the weeds of bland national corporations begin to choke out our town crops. Dairy Queen may look unassuming, but once we let it in, there's no going back.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you have amorous relations in a DQ shitter once?"

OF COURSE I HAD AMOROUS RELATIONS IN A DQ SHITTER ONCE! I'M XMASTIME, DAMMIT!!