Wally Joyner

I see Wally Joyner has come out and declared that yes, back in the day he tried steroids. He felt himself being passed by by the likes of steroid-chomping monsters like Canseco, Palmeiro et al, so little Wally was desperate and asked his (now dead) pal Ken Caminti to get him some 'roids, which he tried once or twice but quickly stopped. Oh, good for you Wally!!

What a load of crap. Do we really give a shit about Wally Joyner? This REEKS of one of two things: Wally misses the spotlight of the Bigs and this is his only way to get attention, or is looking to parlay his "coming out" into a book/movie/episode of "7th Heaven." What REALLY fucking burns my ass is as he tells his story, we're supposed to weep for Wally - getting surpassed by the awful, cheating monsters taking the drugs (I noticed on the ESPN piece he made sure to mention Canseco and Palmeiro as two of those players as opposed to just saying 'some players'; presumably this puts the picture of roid-inhaling thugs in our heads) while innocent, naive Wally stands by and trys to play the game fairly. So with much trepidation he approaches his buddy "Cammy" (seriously, can any mention of Ken Caminiti ever happen again without chortling? camon) who hooks him up with his roid guy. Now we have to sit there while Wally walks us through the days of him debating doing the steroids, not doing the steroids, but oh the game isn't fair anymore blah blah fucking blah. Of course he takes one or two, is racked with such guilt that he stops. And here is where we're supposed to applaud him, "wow Wally, what a guy! good for you!"

Fuck that. Who the fuck cares? This means nothing to anybody, and does nothing to help the fight against the steroid problem in MLB. Dude shooting up for years, artificially padding his stats, cheating America's Game?? - naw, it's Wally trying roids once or twice in the twilight of his so-what career, then stopping. Whats the point? Shut up! Now we gotta pat Wally on the ass while his chest puffs out and say "boy, he's one of the good ones!!" Maybe in his inevitable 60 Minutes interviews Wally World can work up a few tears for us, like the keyboard player from Journey on their Behind the Music when he turns on the waterworks re: some kid in the hospital that died and was their one non-gay fan.