Monday, December 05, 2005

Things Are Good, Part I

A few things I'm thinking of right now (all at once):

1) If priests aren't supposed to have sex with anyone, how do we know which ones are homosexuals? And if they get "busted" for having sex, isn't THAT the crime - is it better to get busted for breaking your vow of celibacy with a woman? Shouldn't the Church have a policy of ignorance when it comes to homosexuality? "Our dudes aren't supposed to be having sex with ANYONE; so if they do, the person they have sex with is nebulous", no? ie - That they're having sex goes against their vow of celibacy, not WHOM THEY'RE HAVNG SEX WITH.

2) I'm 50% certain I used to word "nebulous" correctly - that's one for public schools!

3) The only way to cook bacon perfectly is stick it in the oven and leave it. Skillet-fried, 1/2 of it burns, 1/2 of it sticks to the pan, 1/2 of it don't cook, you get the idea. Stick it on a wire rack w/foil underneath, leave it for 20 minutes

4) The BCS, while getting lucky this year, is an abomination. And I think Texas beats USC 72-69. Yes, I mean in football.

5) I have 26 days to fulfill my New Year's Resolutions of a) finding my wife b) learning the robot. Hmm.

6) Why do people buy multiple lottery tickets? Don't the laws of such complete randomness tell us that you have the exact chance of winning with 1 ticket as 100? If your odds of winning are 1 in a billion or whatever, you're better off buying one ticket, and using the other $99 on booze to soften the blow. "11 18 23 36 38 43...great. I'm still poor" (glug glug glug)

7) I just read that coffee can help cure liver cancer. Doesn't that just mean I'll be awake more, worrying about it? Thanks, Pablo.

8) I've completely lost track of what the fuck is going on on The West Wing. Thanks for moving it to Sundays, NBC. Now it can fritter away in absolute obscurity. Like "Frasier", or "my sex life."

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