Ahh, my buddy Serge and his lovely wife Monica…
…seconds before she’s in Xmastime’s death grip. “run along now, Sergey boy!!! She’s mines now! Git!!!” Note that in the background Dave is about to pass out. Yes, Monica just cut one. Dang.
“Hmm. DOES the denial of absolute truth make one self-refuting….?”
“…hahahaha!! Remember when Monica cut one!!! Wow!!!”
Xmastime and Dave are reveling in another witticism they’ve tossed off about F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Seconds later they realize what they said was gay and are ashamed. Hmm.
Hey, I’m just resting my eyes! Next to a 2-foot tall Sierra Nevada. Where's my product-placement $$$$!!!!
Actually I’m saying Grace before pounding PBR all night. I should apologize for thanking the Lord for our gifts which we are about to recieve? And is Kirk actually licking his chops while looking at me? wtf?
Still saying Grace. Hmm. Must have a LOT of PBR to be thankful for. I’m so courteous to the Lord!!!! Obviously it's paid off, as he has blessed my life so much (awkwards cough)
Okay, now I have actually passed out ON Monica’s face. Hey, does this count as sleeping with a woman? AHA!!! Dry streak is over at 949 weeks!!! FUCK YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU EVERYBODY!! Might be time to call it a night now, though.
HELL no, I’m back!!! Practicing my numbers with Dave!! Lil carnival trick we do in bars – I count out the number one, he counts out number two, then I take a chick and do her in the bathroom while Kirk shits in the sink. Brings down the house every time.
Dave has fucked up and counted out the wrong number. Monica breathes a sigh of relief: "Thank God - I HATE the bathroom at the Levee!"
Wrapping up the night. Good times, great friends and....oh goody, Monica has cut another one. Sorry Dave!
5 comments:
I could of swore you were falling asleep! Praying, good one, i will have to use that one!
MONICA, don't you know LADIES excuse themselves before they fluff! LOL LOL LOL
whoa, whoa...I will NOT allow any Hormel-bashing on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does Monica use that lip plumping gloss? I am cursed with thin flat boobs and lips and have tried the over the counter double strength plumpers on the lipples without much success, other than a hell of a shine and oil spots on my shirt. Please comment.
For the woman complaining of thin flat lips: Try using K-Y warming gel on your lips for a quick fix and a mutual thrill. Biting you lips will them will also give you a fuller appearance but can cause trauma. Preparation H shrinks swollen tissues and may be effective for the woman with oversized lips. For the ultimate thrill and a trip to the ER, try Bengay on your lips.
Hey toots!Good news on colon cleansing: To reduce the embarrassing results of gas from unwanted colo-rectal sludge and systemic toxins, health guru Robert McElwaine recommends putting aside at least one Saturday morning per month for his holistic liquid fasting cleansing program. Plan to take nothing but the following and stay near the bathroom. Firat thing in the AM: 16 oz of prune juice followed by a gallon ( at 10 oz per hour) of ONE of the following: Unsweetened apple juice, distilled water and 4 tblsp. apple cider vinager and 'locally made' honey), distilled water with the juice of 2 lemons and more locally made honey, or just plain distilled water. Chew on some garlic, take vitamins, and eat a full liquid diet on Sunday( see website).
http://members.aol.com/rem547/fasting.htm
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