Oh Gwyneth, Where Art Thou?

of course I got more!

at Coyote Ugly. think it was the '99 MLB playoffs. Op's birthday if memory serves me. we're all there watchin the Mets. Xmastime's in rare form, but its Coyote Ugly, EVERYTHING goes!!!. there's somebody with their head on the bar having shots poured into their mouth. SASSY BARTENDERS! "this is what rome was like!!!" blah blah blah ...

but wait. there's a blond at the table behind us. HOLYSHIT!!! it's Gwyneth Paltrow. we're all abuzz, "is it??? no it's not! YES IT IS!!!", but everyone's too chicken shit to go up to her, ... everyone that is except ... Xmastime.

Next thing we know, he's planted in that booth chatting it up with Ms. Thang. we all have to hang back & kick ourselves

now this is a bit of a non-sequitur, but of all the sudden I look up and realize Xmastime is no longer at GP's table. GP and her friend are alone & talking.

I look to find him. We've previously established the disappearance factor. Finally, in the back corner of the bar, through clouds of smoke I see Xmastime. He's removing the last piece of clothing wrapped around his foot. Buck naked. Alone. Just standing there. For no apparent reason other than taking some time off from the clothes. Then, out of nowhere, he poses for a split second like some '40s b-movie actress. Hands behind his head, hip stuck out. It lasts all of 3 seconds tops.

All of the sudden, one of the SASSY BARTENDERS shows up pleading with me to make him put his clothes back on. I'm thinking, "i'm with you SASSY BARTENDER, but this is Rome!!!" The fear in her eye was troubling and suddenly her slutty bustiere looked helpless and tragic. "XMASTIME, put yer friggin clothes on!" I shouted, "fear not SASSY BARTENDER! you can go back to work!" he was dressed in moments.

As is always the case, a price had to be paid. One cannot enjoy the decadence of life without a blood offering. And this was no different. As ms. rrthur approached the bar, she was informed she had been cut off, due to her friends disrobing. xmastime, however, was welcome to indulge.

[this post was posted by Rrthur]