XMASTIME: Does a Bear Shit on a Sidewalk?

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Does a Bear Shit on a Sidewalk?

How is it fucking possible that Winnie the Pooh is just NOW getting a fucking star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? If it takes this guy 80 years to get a star, shouldn’t it be near impossible for most “stars” to get on? Dude has been ubiquitous for 80 years – you could dig up a fucking rock on Mars and it’ll know the name Winnie the Pooh. And the guy brought in $55B for Disney – IN 2005 ALONE!!!!! A quick look at a few “stars” that beat Pooh to the Walk of Fame:

Pat Sajak
Bob Barker
Pee Wee Herman
Tim Allen
Charlize Theron
Dennis Quaid
Ben Stiller
Wayne Rogers

I don’t even have to make the jokes here. Unbelievable. But if this isn’t enough humiliation for our guy, here’s a few names that are going in with Pooh as the Class of 2006:

Matthew Broderick/Nathan Lane (they’re one person now)
Ray Ramono
Vanna White
Judge Fucking Judy
Motley Crue

I have no words. My only hope woulda been that Pooh rejected his star upon seeing the hundreds of “stars” that came before him on the Walk, but I guess it’s too late. My only hope is to fly out to Hollywood, have a few pops with him and convince him to take a big, fat, hairy steamer on his star. What a joke.

When this guy wakes up and hears this, he's gonna go APESHIT

6 comments:

Anonymous said...: The fact that they need to resort to giving "stars" to cartoon characters confirms what I have long suspected: ELVIS IS ALIVE; 2:15 PM
Anonymous said...: WINNIE paid someone off?; 2:16 PM
Anonymous said...: Oh this is not going to sit right with Mickey. Not at all.; 2:18 PM
Anonymous said...: never liked the dude; 4:11 PM
Anonymous said...: And no star for Rudolf. Burl Ives, dead for one year today, would literally turn over in his grave.; 4:19 PM
Anonymous said...: that baby is adorable!; 6:29 PM

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