Happy Halloween

Lookin forward to tonite, my first Halloween in 20 years that i can enjoy with KIDS instead of getting shit-faced hitting on chicks in their drawers pretending to be a squirrel. Can we get an official number of women that were "horrified" by Monica Lewinsky yet snapped their ankles in half sprinting to dress up as her for Halloween? And does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who actually got the 'ol razor in the apple? Seems like if anyone pulled that on a kid he'd get busted - seriously, if some asshole tried to pass an apple off on you during trick or treating, you'd fucking remember who it was, no? And what kid came home, dumped out his bag of candy on the table and immediately reached over the piles of Snickers and candy corn to shove an APPLE into his mouth? Who's this Poindexter? I would think you'd eventually SEE a razor since by the time you had gorged on your loot the damn thing woulda rotted away. "Oh look, there's a razor in this apple."

Anyways, this is the most excited about a Halloween since the first year I went as "The 7-Up Dot", my freshman year of college. Was a hit then and for the next 3 years. I believe the axiom is "Don't fix what ain't broke, especially if it's directly responsible for a blowjob in the bathroom." And I will make a point to remember to use "Poindexter" more in the future!