Dead Girls. Must Be Monday.

Coupla days ago I was trucking round Graham Avenue; taking in the sights of a brand new spring while gracefully accepting catcalls from the young ladies out on the streets. Yes it’s gauche on their part, but it’s finally warm out, they’re a bit randy and, as I’ve explained many times before, women are made up of hormones and water, so they can’t help themselves.

Anyway. I was at this moment walking down the street, FUMING about a menu I had just seen in a window wherein I read that if you want to add a piece of cheese to your precious fucking hamburger it costs you A FUCKING DOLLAR. A FUCKING DOLLAR??!?!?!? FOR A SINGLE SLICE OF CHEESE ON YOUR ALREADY $8.00 HAMBURGER!??!?!!!! ARRRGHHHH!!! So I’m bopping down the street, as I’m want to do, and I casually notice that I’m rolling up on a tombstone store. Which I don't think I've ever encountered before, big window, right on the street. Big storefront, with monuments in the window. Little weird, I’m thinking. But then I see something very strange. One of the tombstones they got there for show:

LISA PANELLI
June 20, 1991 – April 3,1999
BLESS OUR BABY GIRL

AND on the stone is a picture of the freaking girl!! What the fuck? Am I crazy, or is this a little weird, having a kid’s tombstone out to shill for customers? Who is this even for; the scrappy 7 year-old saving up her allowance for “my stone”? Are there parents strolling around looking at it, saying “you know baby, if little Suzy gets raped by some thugs and then left for dead in a stairway with her head severed, wouldn’t this stone be freaking PERfect?”

Who’s the brainiac behind this one? “You know what might be great for business? Cute little dead girl in a pink sweater. Get my markers, I’ll sketch it out.”

Christ.