Anyway. I was at this moment walking down the street, FUMING about a menu I had just seen in a window wherein I read that if you want to add a piece of cheese to your precious fucking hamburger it costs you A FUCKING DOLLAR. A FUCKING DOLLAR??!?!?!? FOR A SINGLE SLICE OF CHEESE ON YOUR ALREADY $8.00 HAMBURGER!??!?!!!! ARRRGHHHH!!! So I’m bopping down the street, as I’m want to do, and I casually notice that I’m rolling up on a tombstone store. Which I don't think I've ever encountered before, big window, right on the street. Big storefront, with monuments in the window. Little weird, I’m thinking. But then I see something very strange. One of the tombstones they got there for show:
LISA PANELLI
June 20, 1991 – April 3,1999
BLESS OUR BABY GIRL
AND on the stone is a picture of the freaking girl!! What the fuck? Am I crazy, or is this a little weird, having a kid’s tombstone out to shill for customers? Who is this even for; the scrappy 7 year-old saving up her allowance for “my stone”? Are there parents strolling around looking at it, saying “you know baby, if little Suzy gets raped by some thugs and then left for dead in a stairway with her head severed, wouldn’t this stone be freaking PERfect?”
Who’s the brainiac behind this one? “You know what might be great for business? Cute little dead girl in a pink sweater. Get my markers, I’ll sketch it out.”
Christ.
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