Hurricane Xmastime

I see now that hurricane season is a 'comin, and will be a "special" one. Great. More 3-hour segments of watching Anderson Cooper standing in the rain. When the fuck did this start? Might've been kinda cool the first time years ago. "Oh wow, dude's gettin blown around. Cool." Now it's like hey, I fucking get it....it's a lot of rain and very windy. Got it. You can come inside now, dipshit. Do we need to see hours and hours of this shit? Is a shark gonna come flying by? At least make it interesting, have him sit there at a card table trying to play Monopoly. That's better than "...so yeah, I'm standing here...it's wet...ooohh, windy!....ahhh..." Or a contest with Death Row inmates - first one who can stand in the hurricane and wrap a Christmas present, you're free to go.

And don't get me started on these names they give these things...just saw a list of the names in the que for 2009....Ana? Bill? DANNY? We don't even call it "Daniel", we go for the boyish nickname, "Danny"? Why not "Poptop"?...GRACE??? Is "Serene" unavailable?...Larry. We're actually calling a hurricane Larry. Unreal. Oh, and Rose. Cause if there's a freakish hell-storm about to land on a city and demolish buildings and kill people, you wanna name it after a flower. Christ. Not really names that make me think "maybe I should get outta town for a while." Can we do something about this? How bout instead of "Hurricane Claudette", we use "Hurricane Your ex-Wife Is Back in Town, Has Lost the 50lbs and Is Looking to Fuck the Phonebook", or "Hurricane What the...Which One of You called Me the N-Word?" Wouldn't these be a bit more intimidating? Camon.

But seriously, enough with the fucking footage. We know what a hurricane looks like. And we don't care.

Well. There are exceptions of course.