11:50 First thing I notice is the backdrop – a big canvas advertisement for car insurance. Hmm. Seem appropriate? “Let’s introduce a serious dialogue with these young women re: racism and sexism...and let’s try to move some car insurance while we’re at it.” Interesting.
11:51 I see there’s two white players on the team. And of course these two white girls are in the first five chairs, so they’re on screen the whole time. I know I’m being overly sensitive here, but in the brief glimpses we’re given it looks like the last 5 or so black girls on the end are sharing two chairs while the two white girls are auditioning for the next season of “The Hills.” Interesting. Ooooohh, whoa - first white girl looks just like Winnie Cooper! Hot damn. Makes me think of my childhood. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder. (cue “Turn! Turn! Turn!”)
11:53 Why are these girls in their warmups? They have a game right after the press conference? Wouldn’t it be a bigger “eff you” to show up in their best pantsuits? Classy dresses? Doesn’t showing up in their warm-ups make it seem like they’re kept in a box til gametime? Wtf?
11:54 Who’s the white woman behind them, kinda running the show? The coach? Public affairs office? No idea.
11:56 One of the girls just stated she didn’t know exactly what they’d say to “Doug Imus.” Sigh.
11:57 Where's all the outrage from women? Are black women on their own here? Being called a whore doesn't matter?
11:58 As each girl stands up, they’ve started listing “interesting facts.” Isn’t this precious. Essence plays 4 musical instruments. Heather was second in Big East in blocked shots. Emily hates white people and will do anything to destroy them. Do they do this on Court TV? “I hope they put this dude away for fucking life, he’s a ...oh, wait...he likes puppies and ‘Little House on Plum Creek’?!! Fuck...this is harder than I thought...” Yes that’s a bad analogy since the girls aren’t the accused here, but I’ve had a thing lately about gettin up in Ma Ingalls’ creek-washed pantaloons, so get off my ass.
11:59 I’m reminded of 40 minutes earlier on “The View” when Elisabeth Hasselback reminded herself that it had been a while since she dropped something beyond numbingly fuck-dumb on us and screeched that Imus should be punished “until Black History Month.” Again, Elisabeth, congratulations – you’re the blackest dumb blonde in the world! Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Black people LOVE you!! No word yet on her thoughts re: murderous vampires being punished til Halloween, or racist bunnies til Easter. Fucking christ.
12:00 One of the girls just followed up her indignant statement that Imus has not personally contacted her with saying that she has turned her phone off since the outcry began. Hmm. When the fuck will white people learn to make calls on phones that are not turned on? I hate my race!!!
12:01 The white woman behind them (Coach? Still no idea....let’s call her Belinda just so I don’t hafta keep saying “the white woman behind them”) has just informed the reporters they have time for “one more question before they go to class.” Again...in their warm-ups? What classes are these? What’s going on here with the 24/7 uniforms; are they from the future?
12:03 Just like during Rosa Parks’ funeral I flipped over to BET to see their take. Hmm. Dude blingin’ bout the latest issue of “King” magazine which I can see has a pic shot from behind of a young lady in a thong, bent over with no shirt on looking over her shoulder, licking her lips. Amazingly enough overshadowed by the host guy who’s wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m Absolutely Stupid.”
12:07 Belinda just snapped at a player who had started talking while sitting down to “STAND UP!!” yowzza!! Crack the whip!! Ouch.
12:10 Winnie’s talking!....nothing. Be funny if Imus only apologizes to her, wouldn’t it? “Winnie...I’m so sorry (sincere hug)...who brought the Pointer Sisters?” I know, I know....I’m going to hell.
12:11 Belinda’s got her mitts all over these girls. On their shoulders, on their backs. Lotta same-sex touching. This isn’t “Stand by Me” for fuck’s sake, ease up lady. This isn’t your locker room after you’ve slipped a wine spritzer into the team Gatorade.
12:13 Anyone else going to hell for noticing that the backdrop at a press conference about racism and sexism is black and pink? Anyone?
12:17 A reporter just asked Team Captain Essence Carson what programming she thinks will replace Imus for the 2 weeks he’s suspended. Good lord.
Anyways. Maybe Imus can offer lifetime passes to the girls to his ranch for as many children as they wish. Now that I think about it, what the fuck DOES go on at the ranch?
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