Whats up with those buttons at intersections, that basically say “push button to stop traffic”? Seems like we’re trying to play God here, no? I don’t know anyone who knows anyone whose ever seen or heard of anyone pushing this thing. I need to show 4 forms of i.d. and a color copy of my DNA helix to get a membership at the video store, yet the city somehow trusts me with handling traffic? Really? Maybe I can hit JFK and land some planes too?
Which reminds me. Grocery stores: what happened to your bag boys? The $0.49/hr you were paying got too steep? What the fuck, now I find myself having to fucking bag my own shit? And it’s always that awkwardness; I’ll fumble with my money extra long so that the cashier will finally decide to do it. Cause you feel like an asshole just standing there until she finally does; people behind you sighing and rolling their eyes. I’ll time it til she starts it, feign starting to reach for a bag “oh, you got it, okay.” Is having someone bag my groceries too much too ask, too steep a service? I don’t wanna fucking bag, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m putting the milk and croutons in the same bag with my Over-Sized Specially Made I Hope She’s a Horse Hefty Bag Condoms; can someone else fucking help me please?
Paper or plastic. Pack the shit up in your foreskin, I don’t give a shit, just fucking do it for fucksakes.
8 comments:
jesus dude. bugles already come in a bag. you gotta add another plastic bag to the dump?
did i say it had to be a plastic bag? no. i said i dont care, just bag it.
you are officially the laziest person on or near bedford ave
okay. then i dont wanna ever see anyone bag your groceries. or serve you food in a restaurant (get it yourself lazy ass!). go behind the bar, get your own spritzer
oh xmas-bitch ... you win again!
Where I'm from, we bring our own canvas bags and never buy more than we can walk out with. It's about saving the trees, sparing the forest, Gump.
but it's a good thing you can express the way you feel. Where I'm from most folks hold it all in and have a very flat affect. Like me and they all die of consumption early on, on accounta not being able to get it all out the way you do. With the f word and all yer bitchin about shit like nobody to bag up yer whoozjuwats an all.
... okay we don't all die but there is a higher rate of consumption in the area, though some suspect it's related to chemical spill-off from the old Ciba-Geigy plant.
just saying. Better to get it off your hairy chest. Some places have a complaints box. You might ask the manager for it's whereabouts.
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