/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Manny Tales

My charge has officially started crawling. Which is great, cause you can stuff a room full of plush stuffed animals, soft building blocks and satin-covered books and without fail he will worm himself all the way across the room to find the rusty razorblade that's buried underneath a teddy bear, a pile of onesies and a blanket. You turn your head for 3 seconds and somehow there he is. And when they do this they're always staring at you as they raise the forbidden objects sloooooowly to their mouths, as if taunting you. "You're really gonna let me do this? What are you, an asshole?" Never fails. These babies could literally find the rusty, e-bolic needle in the plush cottony haystack. These mfs should work for the FBI; put 'em in a crowded room and they will instantly crawl into the lap of the most wanted of terrorists. "Over here, numbnuts."








"Hahahaha!! You're gonna get fired for this one, fuckface!"

5 comments:

Gina said...

I have the exact same problem with two of my adult day care members. The one will put checkers in his mouth and the other has a thing for licking the Uno card holder. I think the little man will grow out of it, let's hope. These guys are over 50. Keeps you on your toes.
Always be prepared for the hiemlich...

here. said...

http://reeltoreelrecords.com/Moving%20Day.mov

Anonymous said...

What a cute little bastard! The baby's all right too.

The Girl Who loves xmastime.

Angelissima said...

Cute lil puss ya got there kid!

Anonymous said...

So, I'm searching your old posts trying to find the one where you praise the fried chicken at Larson's Big Star in Oxford ,MS, when I hear someone ordering food in the bar. I go up front to get the ticket from the bartender, and find that it is no other than Barry Hannah and Tom Franklin, excellent authors. What did they order, you say? Chicken Tenders with o-rings. F-ing chicken co-winky-dink, don't ya think? But, yes, the chicken at Larson's is still there, still cheap, and delicious. Also, be careful with that little one. I sense trickery in those bright eyes.