Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Step It Up, Kid

Im coming to the realization that my ploy of using the kid I baby-sit to get women is not working. First of all, if I’m with the kid and I catch a girl’s eye and try to flirt* she quickly assumes I’m the father and therefore some sort of cheating scumbag. Which works if you’re rich or good-looking, but not usually in any other instance. So that’s no good, particularly in this day and age where a lot of married men don’t wear rings anyway. And my go-to move, wandering around letting it be known that I’m struggling to raise this beautiful boy alone since the death of his dear, angelic mother is not only not working, but is getting creepy. So this kid and I better come up with another plan soon, or before we know it he’ll be driving me to his high school parties to meet “women.”

* stand there, mouth agape and hand in pocket playing with my balls

1 comment:

ves said...

Trust me, get a dog. I won't even glance at a guy with a kid, and I glance a lot. Girls with daddy issues are looking for older men, not men with kids. (Just trying to help!)