Tuesday, August 14, 2007

People I'm Always Surprised are Still Alive

John Wooden - everytime he pops up onscreen I'm shocked. Didn't he die in 1975? Jesus. Was an All-American back when it was called All-Colonies. beeeeeeeeeeeeep. Has forgotten more basketball than you'll ever know. And probably everything else.

Bill Gallo - everyday when I see one of his cartoons in the Daily News I automatically assume it's a "classic" from the 50's. The 1850s. Always slightly shocked when it's a drawing of Jeter. This guy is so old he still thinks boxing is a sport for chrissake.

Walter Cronkite - Took over the news from Gutenberg; looked 85 the day he reported JFK's assassination. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln and Cronkite tea-bagged 'em both.

C. Everett Koop and Ralph Nader - not necessarily cause they're that old, but can anyone alive remember not knowing these names? Jesus. Was Nader 11 when he warned about the dangers of the horseless carriage?

Fidel Castro - good lord. Dude took over when Ike was President; always slightly surprised when he pops on the tv screen. This mf has ruled a country longer than Hawaii has been a state (and missed out by a month on Alaska.) Living proof that time may heal all wounds, but it don't heal ugly.

Bob Shepherd - has been the announcer at Yankee Stadium since 1951. How is it possible that someone who was the announcer during Mickey Mantle's rookie season is not only still alive, but still working? Jesus. This guy has called out more ballplayer's names than Alyssa Milano. He's old.

3 comments:

Rambler said...

you forgot the most obvious--Abe Vigoda!

Xmastime said...

hahaha!! jesus christ. looked it up, still dont believe it

Anonymous said...

Richard Widmark is still alive..go figure. He lives in NYC and gets around.
Ernest Borgnine is still kicking.

Who'd have thought...