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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Quit with the MPH Shit

Can I watch a fucking baseball game nowadays without getting the fucking mph of every goddam pitch? Jesus christ. Who gives a shit - you know, they already have guys who track this shit. They're called "major league coaches." Why do I need to know - is Joe Torre gonna call me up in the middle of a game "yo Xmas, how hard's he throwing?" Also, 99% of all the pitches are within about 6 mph. So you watch every pitch and it's like "....hmm, 91...ah, 89....91...91....hmmm, 90....hmm, 91...." what am I supposed to be getting out of this? It's like when I'm eating some chick out and she's all "left, right, right, left blah blah blah..." Totally superfluous, and not what anybody paid to see. So unless the shit hits 100mph or drops comically low to, say, 40mph get the shit off my fucking screen.

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