When a kid turns one year old, his job description changes from "lovingly accept food with wide-eyed gratitude and love" to "throw as much food around as possible." So for a while now the boy spends most of our meal breaks tossing the shit everywhere. And nowadays he barely bothers to even notice what the heck he's throwing: "...peas pasta grapes check check check, let's keep this shit moving....(toss toss toss)" And now this morning he's learned hey, he doesn't hafta blindly just toss the shit around, he can throw the food AT someone!!
I have a college degree. I served my country. And now I'm standing here as blocks of cheese bounce off my forehead and pieces of canteloupe stick to my clothes. The boy is howling with laughter because a grape just hit my eye. Dignity 1, Manny 0.
"Hahahahaaha!! I can't miss, you pathetic fat fuck!!!"
1 comment:
throw it right back at him, Xmastime!
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