I just saw some stupid commercial for Target; some fashion designer gleefully tells us that she designs clothes for women who “love life!” Really? What the fuck does this mean? “Remember, a woman who loves life is gonna want pleats here, Cheryl.” And who are these women that “love life!!” and are running into Target to prove it by buying their clothes? Wtf? And to buy said clothes, do you hafta pass some sort of “Do You REALLY Love Life Test?” Fucking stupid. I did some thinking and some rough sketches and came up with a few of my own fashion lines:
“Clothing for Women Who Hate Life and Want to Blow Their Fucking Brains Out”
“Clothing for Women Who Otherwise Would Hafta Fuck Dudes for Clothes”
“Clothing for Women Who Queef”
“Clothing for Women Who Don’t Want the Cookie Crumbs to Show”
“Clothing for Women Who Have Completely Given Up in This Life”
“Clothing for Women Who Think Taking It Up the Ass Means You’re Still a Virgin”
“Clothing for Women Who Have Never Had an Orgasm and, More Importantly, Never Will
“Clothing for Women Who are Named Rosie O’Donnell”
“Clothing for Women Who Just Plain Fucking Suck”
"Clothing for Women Who Don't Wanna Pay a Lot for their Fuck-Me Boots that They're Gonna Wear to the Next Party at the Hunt Club."
End of the month, we'll see whose sales are better!
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