Hail Taxi...I'm a Fucking Idiot

Is there anything in the world that can make you feel more like a fucking idiot than trying to hail a cab in another city? I mean, in NYC it's easy: big yellow car, lights on in the middle, boom - you can grab it. Every other city, what the fuck...green car, blue car, white with stripes, sometimes a light means it's available, sometimes it's the opposite. How do these people know when a cab's fucking available? Every single one is different. And you look like a fucking retard waving your hand at one, you know every single fucker in town is looking at you "what a fucking idiot...green car, red racing stipe with light flashing? Umm....in use, dumbass!!!"