Saturday, December 29, 2007

Halfway to Insanitizey

I'm amused that the hand sanitizer in my bathroom claims that it kills, and I quote, "99.99% of germs." Really? If...if you know there's still .01% out there, why not kill them too? You seem to know the exact amount of germs that are left, so why would you stop there? "But Xmastime," you say in your Ironhead Heyward (RIP) voice from those soap commercials, “it's a kind of disclaimor for any possible lawsuit." I guess in the case of someone dropping dead from using the stuff, their lawyers can step in with "oh sure, well, obviously they got it from the 0.01% of germs we didn't kill, as we clearly stated on the bottle, so..." Then why call it "sanitizer" in the first place? Nothing can be kind of sanitized, can it? It either is 100% or it isn't at all, no? Fucking hand sanitizer. The Ryan Seacrest of the toilette.

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