I know I'll probably never be a real adult cause I'm 35 years old and I have never bought a light bulb. Not once. Who the fuck does? Who thinks "you know what, I should go buy some light bulbs"? To me it's an endless series of rotation - oh my lamp's out, switch it out with a lamp in the living room, swing the one in the bathroom over to the living room and on and on and on. I don't know how, but after all these years I've never run out of light bulbs. I guess one day I will, I'll all of a sudden be sitting in the dark and think "well....that's it I guess" and then blow my fucking brains out.
Oh, furniture too. I've never bought a piece of real furniture. Everywhere I've moved, it's like okay, there's a dresser, great. What the fuck do I care what it looks like? (by the way, that's reason #715 I'd make a great husband: I don't give a shit re: the furniture. Do what you want. What the fuck do I care? Feed me, let me up in them guts and let me watch "The Hills" in peace and you can dress our joint up with a Strawberry Shortcake motif, I could give two shits.)
4 comments:
i'm sensing a pattern here. why not apply the same lightbulb logic to your remote control?
i also super identify with this. my friends made fun of me for years because when i got a new apartment once i kept the mattress that was in there.
"Oh the mattress? they said i could keep it. the guy who lived here before got thrown in jail. But it's cool, i totally febrezed it."
that's why in some circles people call me "the febrezer"
ah... can't grow up.
a man content with and without. necessity is the mother of all purchase, sort of. I remember sharing the same single fork with my roommate for several months. not at the same time of course. She was anorexic an barely ate anything anyway, but when we finally needed the fork at the same time, we realized we had a problme, and she lifted one from the restaurant where she waitressed. We found a TV at a yard sale and rolled a cable thing home for a coffee table. it was fine.
by the way, regarding the light bulb. I was standing in a food line down at Cappy's Pub in Forked River yesterday. I was talking to this 5 year old about having spare items around just incase you need them...and he says, " Like light bulbs?"
"yes, good idea, extra lightbulbs, blankets and some water."
i have no idea why i put that kind of concern into a child at Christmastime.
1.) Illuminating self-reflection, Xmastime. You've really shed some light on a glaring defect of character.
2.) Most guys don't give a shit about what furniture looks like. You're normal.
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